That’s about it. There’s nothing that we can add to this story apart from involuntary shuddering.

Team hecklerspray likes to bond over a game of croquet and snifter of port, but not Take That. Take That like group wanking sessions. Or at least they did. Honestly.

Because Take That’s fans were all twelve when they split up, it probably wasn’t best letting that sort of sordid information cripple their ears. But we’re all grown up now so, yes, Take That did all used to masturbate furiously together. Happy now?

When people meet for the first time, it can be slightly awkward. After asking someone what their name is, what they do for a living, who their favourite death metal band is and what they had for tea the previous evening, conversation can get slightly stale. So what happens next?

In what sounds like the making of a second-rate low-budget porn film, it appears that the manly men of Take That used this lull in the conversation to whip out their cocks and tug away at themselves.

Talking to Q magazine, Howard Donald revealed that he and former bandmate Robbie Williams had a wank session together when the band started out, saying:

“It were me and Rob… it only happened once.”

We aren’t sure if it was in a hotel room, a bedroom or a room where naughty boys are sent. Still, it is slightly peculiar to indulge in that sort of behaviour with your fellow man.

Maybe they were in a hotel together without a swimming pool and they desperately wanted to see who could survive underwater the longest without drowning. Perhaps we are wrong to judge and should applaud them for inventing such a creative game of wank endurance.

But it gets worse. If it wasn’t enough spreading each other’s seed around, some of the more nervous members sat and watched. Mark Owen added:

“That was an odd one, that. I think I was more of an observer.”

No Mark, you’re all odd. Though with a new single coming out in March it is one of the strangest promotional techniques we’ve read in a while. You’re all utter freaks.

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