Welcome to the start of the last two days of our Dancing On Ice betting odds for 2008.

That’s right, the Dancing On Ice final takes place on Sunday – and if you haven’t placed a bet on the outcome, time is running out for you to do so. It couldn’t be easier; a couple of clicks and you’re away. And you deserve to win some money from Dancing On Ice, you know. Consider it compensation for watching the entire blinking series.

Who’s going to win Sunday’s Dancing On Ice final? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Zaraah Abrahams and Suzanne Shaw, with help from Paddy Power…

Zaraah Abrahams - The thing about the Dancing On Ice final is that the judges don’t get a say. None of them. Not Skeletor Judge, not Silent Big-Face Judge, not Ben From Lost Judge, not even Queenie Theatre Judge. It’s all down to the public. And the thing is that the public can’t stand Zaraah Abrahams. Week after week after week she’s been in the Dancing On Ice skate-off and week after week after week she’s been saved by the judges. Without their interference, we get the feeling that Zaraah will be the first of the three to go home on Sunday. However, if you do bet on Zaraah Abrahams and she does win, you’re going to be rolling in cash like a pig in shit. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 16/1

Suzanne Shaw - It’s fair to say that Suzanne Shaw has given Dancing On Ice her all. Early reports from behind the scenes said that Suzanne was taking the show so seriously that everyone else hated her prissy little uptight ways, and not even a succession of pretty serious injuries can move her eyes from the prize. But can Suzanne Shaw win Dancing On Ice? We’re not completely sure that she can. You see, when a man and a woman are in the final of an ice skating contest, the man will always win. That’s not sexism, that’s objective fact. When a man does a lift, he has to pick up his partner and hold her steady above his head, all the while zooming around a sheet of ice in shoes with metal blades sticking out the bottom. Meanwhile, when a woman does a lift she just needs to do a little jump and then hold her arms out and look pretty. And since the man works harder, he win. Even if it is a tossend like Chris Fountain. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 9/4

Tomorrow - Dancing On Ice betting odds for Chris Fountain. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Next week is the Dancing On Ice final, but it’ll be a final without a young man dressed like a fat girl at a provincial nightclub – Gareth Gates is out.

For the first time since Dancing On Ice began, Gareth’s army of crazy fans weren’t able to keep him out of the dance-off last night, and the judges didn’t waste any time in eliminating him unanimously. But then that’s exactly what his routine to Livin’ On A Prayer demanded. Having misunderstood the required element 20-second solo-spot to be an opportunity to stand around doing air guitar like a bad-haired shithead, Gareth then went on to waste several precious seconds of his routine by clapping. And if that’s an ice-dance move, then that would make Busta Rhymes the new Dick Button.

But now that Gareth Gates is out of Dancing On Ice, who’ll win the final? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Zaraah Abrahams, with help from Paddy Power…

Zaraah Abrahams - Pitting Zaraah Abrahams against her fellow Dancing On Ice semi-finalists, it was always clear that she wouldn’t do well. Not just a case of Zaraah having been in the dance-off non-stop for about a month now, but she didn’t have the attention-seeking compulsion to show off of Chris Fountain, the ruthless determination to crush her foes of Suzanne Shaw or the freakish, logic-defying fanbase of Gareth Gates. To get through to the Dancing On Ice finals, Zaraah Abrahams needed to pull off something really special. And could she manage it? Oddly, yes. Her routine to One couldn’t have been more assured or elegant, despite having a week mainly spent falling on her bum. Zaraah threw everything she had into her routine, which included huge lifts, terrifying upside-down spins and a bit of sort of ballerina-dance thing, and she ratcheted up her highest score for it. Plus, Zaraah has promised to do a topless photoshoot if she wins, but anyone stupid enough to fall for that is probably too stupid to be able to use a telephone. SCORE – 27 – Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 33/1

Tomorrow: Dancing On Ice betting odds for Suzanne Shaw. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

As exciting as the Dancing On Ice semi-final undoubtedly is, it’s also a time for sadness and reflection.

One Dancing On Ice contestant will be eliminated from the show at the last hurdle, never to quite make it to the grand final. Sure, they’ll have come fourth in Dancing On Ice, but don’t forget that it’s a competition where Greg Rusedski came fifth. Greg Rusedski! He was rubbish! But who will be eliminated from Dancing On Ice on Sunday?

Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Sunday’s elimination – for Chris Fountain, Suzanne Shaw, Gareth Gates and Zaraah Abrahams – with help from Paddy Power…

Chris Fountain – Chris Fountain won’t be eliminated on Sunday. He did a complicated jumpy-turning thing the other week, for christ’s sake, and that alone should keep him in. Plus he, um, skates around a table quite well. And wears stupid face make-up. Chris Fountain’s got it all. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 18/1

Suzanne Shaw – Suzanne Shaw is a far better bet for Dancing On Ice elimination. Not because she’s hopeless – as much as it pains us to admit it, she isn’t – but because she’s spent the last few weeks injuring herself in more and more spectacular ways. At this rate her kneecap will pop off halfway through her routine on Sunday and hit Skeletor Judge in the eye. That’s an instant disqualification, in which case you’ll be quids in. Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 6/1

Gareth Gates – Could this be the week where Gareth Gates’ luck runs out? Of course, we don’t mean ‘luck’ at all – we mean ‘genuinely frightening fanbase’. So far it’s voted Gareth Gates through time and time again even though he’s never really done anything particularly grand. Can it last? Do people really like Gareth Gates that much? Current Dancing on Ice betting odds – 7/2

Zaraah Abrahams - Obviously the favourite for Dancing On Ice elimination this week. Zaraah has faced the dance-off for about a month on the trot now, and there’s no chance that she’ll win the public over now that Greg Rusedski isn’t there to take all the abuse. In fact, we’re not even sure that it’s scientifically possible for Zaraah to get through to the Dancing On Ice final. And that’s speaking as people with a mediocre GSCE science grade that we got over a decade ago. Current Dancing On ice betting odds – 1/3

Next week – Betting for the final of Dancing On Ice! Yippee! But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Greg Rusedski was knocked out of Dancing On Ice during yesterday’s quarter-final – an especially good innings for someone so utterly lacking in dancing ability.

Greg Rusedski managed to pull his best routine yet out of the bag on Sunday, with a performance to Goodbye Yellow Brick Road starring a table and a broom. We say his best routine yet, but Greg somehow managed to drop his broom right at the start like some kind of clumsy janitor with a giant chin. Still, compared to the messes that all his other routine, Greg’s dance yesterday was a masterpiece, even though he basically just twirled a broom about for a bit. But enough’s enough.

Who’ll win Dancing On Ice? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Zaraah Abrahams, with help from Paddy Power…

Zaraah Abrahams – Even though her day-job involves starring in one of the country’s top-rated TV shows, the public hasn’t seemed to click with Zaraah Abrahams. For three weeks running now, Zaraah has been down in the bottom two dancing for survival, even though she’s clearly more talented than, say, Greg Rusedski. Maybe the public think it’s unjust that Zaraah came to the show late and doesn’t deserve to win Dancing On Ice as much as some of the originals. Or maybe the public’s just a bit racist. Who knows? The worry didn’t stop Zaraah from acing her stick-and-hoop routine to That Don’t Impress Me Much, though. Stripped of the fear that she’d shown in previous weeks, Zaraah managed some truly frightening moments, like hooking one leg in a hula hoop and then spinning round on her partner’s neck. Most frightening, though, was Zaraah’s leopardskin whore’s outfit. “No animals were harmed during the making of this costume,” joshed the commentator. Yeah, except for the ones that had to look at it. SCORE – 24.5 – Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 33/1

Tomorrow: Dancing On Ice betting odds for Gareth Gates. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

If you saw Dancing On Ice on Sunday, you’ll have noticed that nobody mentioned the night’s theme. Well, we’re here to tell you that the Dancing On Ice theme was, in fact, Everyone Is Rubbish Night.

Honestly, Sunday’s Dancing On Ice represented the highest density of cock-ups in an hour since Denis Norden skidded around a stage coated with vaginal lubricant while trying to present It’ll Be Alright On The Night 184. Greg fell over, Linda almost got dropped on her head, Zaraah looked terrified and Chris Fountain didn’t injure himself so badly that he had to leave the show. Like we said, a disaster all round.

But who’ll win Dancing On Ice? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Zaraah Abrahams, with help from Paddy Power…

Zaraah Abrahams - It was a little bit shocking on last week’s Dancing On Ice to see Zaraah voted into the dance off after an actually pretty good performance. Perhaps the public don’t think Zaraah deserves to win because of her late entry, or perhaps they just don’t like her as much. But, with the end of Dancing On Ice mercifully in sight, Zaraah needed to pull something really special out of the bag on Sunday’s show. Sadly, it looks like Zaraah didn’t get the memo properly and instead pulled something really special needs – her Dancing on Ice routine to Jump contained – by our estimates – three clumsy stumbles and a wobble. What’s more, she looked petrified all the through the performance, as if she knew there were a dozen snipers in the audience with sights trained at her head. Plus, and this is the most annoying thing, Zaraah’s required element was a jump, the song she danced to was called Jump, and yet her actual jump was so flimsy that we think the judges had to use an atomic microscope just to see whether or not she actually left the ice. Rubbish. SCORE – 18.5 – Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 16/1

Tomorrow: Dancing On Ice betting odds for Suzanne Shaw. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

Dancing On Ice is really hotting up now, although sadly not to the extent where the ice melts and all the contestants drown.

And the pressure is on for everyone, including the Dancing On Ice judges. On Sunday the Dancing On Ice judge that looks like the baddie from Lost had a fight with the Dancing On Ice judge who looks like Skeletor over the scoring system. Well, we say it was a fight – it was actually just the judges mumbling  at each other a bit, but if Dancing On Ice can call it a fight then we bloody well can as well.

So who’ll win Dancing On Ice? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Zaraah Abrahams, with help from Paddy Power…

Zaraah Abrahams – If you believe these Dancing On Ice betting odds, then you’ll see that Zaraah Abrahams occupies the mid-table slot, which is just bizarre. Zaraah hasn’t turned in a bad routine yet, but perhaps her hesitancy to whirl herself about like an attention-seeking goon like some of her competitors has seen her demure, graceful performances get lost in the pile. Zaraah needed to get noticed on Sunday’s Dancing On Ice – but could she manage it? You can’t say that she didn’t try, because her routine was to The Locomotion, a song about 50 times faster than anything she’s tried before. But all the increased tempo did was isolate her weaknesses. Lifts and spins aside, Zaraah looked decidedly unsteady on her feet, especially during the more energetic moments. What a waste of a sexy 1960s robot dress. SCORE – 22 – Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 9/1

Tomorrow: Dancing On Ice betting odds for Suzanne Shaw. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

You know what we’re slowly coming to realise? That Dancing On Ice is only really about one thing.

And that’s Holly Willoughby‘s knockers. Seriously, everything else about Dancing On Ice is by the by. Steve Backley could burst into flames on the ice and nobody would ever notice because the entire world would be too preoccupied with Holly Willoughby’s tits. And everyone on Dancing On Ice seems to know it, too – on Sunday’s show Holly Willoughby didn’t even bother brushing her hair or doing her make up properly, and nobody noticed because she had two-thirds of her boobs hanging out.

Anyway, who’ll win Dancing On Ice? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds for Zaraah Abrahams, with help from Paddy Power…

Zaraah Abrahams - Zaraah Abrahams is a Dancing On Ice champion, but for three points: 1) she’s a fortnight behind everyone else in training, 2) she’s yet to paint her face like a wonky clown and gurn through Timewarp like that tit from Hollyoaks, and 3) her name is full of needless letters that’ll bewilder text voters. But, judging by her Dancing On Ice routine to Diamonds And Pearls, that might change. While Chris and Suzanne’s routines are pathetically try-hard, Zaraah’s are poised and effortless. We’d quite like Zaraah to win Dancing On Ice actually. But only if she changes her hair on this Sunday’s show. Last time it looked like someone had spunked in it. SCORE – 22.5 – Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 8/1

Tomorrow: Dancing On Ice betting odds for Suzanne Shaw and Gareth Gates. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.

One of the best things about this series of Dancing On Ice is that it looks like each week if going to have a distinct theme. And Sunday’s theme was Songs From Broadway.

Imagine that – ice skating, minor celebrities and bad over-emotive out-of-context theatrical hits. It’s like a perfect storm of awfulness, but has Dancing On Ice peaked too soon? After all, it’ll be hard to top the sight of Aggie Mackenzie miming out the lyrics to I Feel Pretty looking for all the world like she was contemplating suicide. What’ll theme be this week? We don’t know about you, but we’ve got our fingers crossed for the Dancing On Ice Speedhall Raggacore Night.

Who’ll win Dancing On Ice? Here are the Dancing On Ice betting odds to win for Linda Lusardi and Zaraah Abrahams, with help from Paddy Power…

Linda Lusardi - The thing we probably like best about our reality TV stars is when you can go online and see several pictures of them naked, and that’s completely the case with former Page 3 girl and Emmerdale star Linda Lusardi. How good is she at Dancing On Ice? It doesn’t matter how good she is, dimwit – so long as a small army of men remember the hand that Linda Lusardi had in their sexual awakening, she’ll do fine. Which is good, because Linda Lusardi is actually quite shit. Well, that’s just speculation, obviously – judging by Sunday’s Dancing On Ice routine to I Know Him So Well, Linda doesn’t actually ever skate; she just lets her partner piggyback her around the rink for a couple of minutes at a time. SCORE – 17 – Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 20/1

Zaraah Abrahams – When Michael Underwood from GMTV broke his ankle a couple of weeks ago, two things happened. Firstly Michael cried like a big bloody girl about it, and second Coronation Street star Zaraah Abrahams got to take his Dancing On Ice place. That’s a good thing, because Zaraah is actually a rather natty little ice skater. Her first Dancing On Ice routine last week was the best of the show, and her routine on Sunday to Don’t Cry For Me Argentina was pretty darn close as well. It had grace and flow and a lift so ridiculous we’d be nervous to try it with lump of cheese, let alone an actual human. Zaraah is still a few weeks behind the others on Dancing On Ice, but she’s catching up fast. SCORE – 19 – Current Dancing On Ice betting odds – 8/1

Tomorrow: Dancing On Ice betting odds for Suzanne Shaw and Gareth Gates. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Dancing On Ice betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.