Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
One more nail has been added to the coffin of the Superman sequel’s credibility, and it looks remarkably similar to Ben Affleck.
In what’s being called “…the worst thing to happen to the franchise since George Clooney’s bat nipples”, Ben Affleck has been confirmed to take on the role of the hero Gotham deserves for Man Of Steel II. Bet you didn’t think you’d be reading the phrase ‘bat nipples’ this early in the day.
Have you heard of Amy Adams? No? She’s an actress. Or something. We assume so because she’s just be handed the role of Lois Lane in the latest Superman film. That’s for definite. The producers have confirmed it and everything.
Director Zack Snyder says that this three-time Oscar nominee (best foley artist? *shrug) has “the talent to capture all of the qualities we love about Lois: smart, tough, funny, warm, ambitious and, of course, beautiful”.
And raven haired! Wait! Uh. Looks like Snyder will have to buy a wig or some Garnier Nutrisse or whatever it is girls poison their hair with.
Zack Snyder, the bloke who directed 300 and gave cinemas a swaying CGI penis in Watchmen, is going to direct the new Superman movie. The film is due out next year and will be written by Christopher Nolan, the director of the Dark Knight movie.
That’s all rather exciting isn’t it? It’ll be nice to have a Superman film which isn’t all glossy and hokey. We’d like to see Superman going really, really dark and depressing.
It’s believed that Snyder landed the gig ahead of other people with names, notably, Darren Aronofsky, Ben Affleck, Matt Reeves and Tony Scott. If this new Superman film is anything Dark Knight, then we should be in for a treat.
When Watchmen is released next month, it’ll be like Christmas come early for about 17 or so lonely spods.
But after Christmas always comes Boxing Day. That’s the day when you’re forced to eat leftovers and play with the toys you’re already bored with. And for Watchmen fans, Boxing Day might just come in the form of Watchmen 2 – the Watchmen sequel that’s been made up exclusively out the mind of a Hollywood executive who hasn’t read the comic books or seen the film and thinks the whole thing is about a band of part-clock mutants.
Or not, according to Zack Synder.
Everybody seems to be getting in on the comic book-to-movie adaptation thing, with easily one of the most anticipated being that of Watchmen.
While normally this would be greeted with trepidation and a slight amount of fear, the sheer quality of the source material, combined with the fact that the film is supposed to actually be, y’know – good – has people sweating around the groin, awaiting next year’s release.
That is, unless Fox have their way and ban the film from ever coming out.
Oh, we’re not kidding here – that’s what they’re trying to do in the latest of legal battles that shows just how the company is actually forged from Satan’s testicles themselves. There’s evil, then there’s Fox evil.
