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Zack And Miri Make A Porno

High School Musical 3 Still Weekend Box Office Number Blah

by Stuart Heritage on November 3, 2008 1 Comment

As well as it being Halloween, this weekend saw the release of all manner of hot Oscar contenders and hugely-hyped comedies.

So what’s number one at the US weekend box office today? A highbrow critical darling? A well-received edgy comedy? Any of the new horror movies? No. It’s sodding High School Musical 3, isn’t it. Again.

That means that the stars of High School Musical 3 are officially bigger than Seth Rogen and Angelina Jolie combined. Perhaps to reassert their popularity, in their next movies Seth Rogen will sing a number of songs about believing in yourself and Angelina Jolie will take a naked picture of herself and post it on the internet. But not the other way round, though – that would be horrible. Angelina Jolie really can’t sing.

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Kevin Smith Obliterates A Toilet With His Bottom

by Stuart Heritage on October 30, 2008 11 Comments

Observers of Kevin Smith might have noticed a change in his shape lately, in that he’s gone from ‘tubby’ to ‘perfectly spherical’.

Don’t think this hasn’t gone unnoticed, though – Kevin Smith himself is quite aware that he’s developing a bit of weight problem. It’s something he picked up on in the traditional way, by breaking a toilet under the weight of his own body.

According to an anecdote that he decided to tell a journalist of his own free will, Kevin Smith recently sat on a toilet only for it to fall away from the wall because of his enormous mass. At least we think Kevin Smith’s weight broke the toilet. It could have also been that Kevin Smith’s urine is high-pressured and grainy and essentially works like a manky-smelling water jet cutter. We simply don’t know.

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

by Chris Laverty on September 5, 2008 0 Comments

A week of joy and misery.

Folded:

  • Zack and Miri Make a Porno redband trailer (gear up to laugh at Kevin Smith’s latest)
  • Vin Diesel returns for ‘Fast and Furious’ (God help our latent excitement)
  • That Kylie sounds like she’s singing ‘I’ll be leaving you’ instead of ‘I believe in you’ during her song of the same name (amazing what two hours of staring zombie-faced at 4Music can teach you)
  • Step Brothers (it’s hard not to chuckle when Will Ferrell is forced to lick white dog shit)
  • Want to know why Babylon A.D. sucked so many balls? (here you go…)

Creased:

  • Anne Hathaway stars in the dreadful looking Passengers (why d’yah do it, Anne? Why?)
  • Ginger beer (who drinks this carbonated sandpaper? It makes your throat feel like you’ve just been sick)
  • Mourn the passing of movie trailer voiceover king Don LaFontaine (see the man in action)
  • 4Music (so, apart from Kylie, Dr Fox and some occasional Nelly, what are we really talking about here? Friday Night Project repeats, that’s what)
  • Bad lips (still, she’ll be alright if she falls in the water)
A week of joy and misery. Folded: * Zack and Miri Make a Porno redband trailer (gear up to laugh at Kevin Smith’s latest) * Vin Diesel returns for ‘Fast and Furious’ (God help our latent excitement) * That Kylie sounds like she’s singing ‘I’ll be leaving you’ instead of ‘I believe in you’ during her song of the same name (amazing what two hours of staring zombie-faced at 4Music can teach you) * Step Brothers (it’s hard not to chuckle when Will Ferrell is forced to lick white dog shit) * Want to know why Babylon A.D. sucked so many balls? (here you go...) Creased: * Anne Hathaway stars in the dreadful looking Passengers (why d'yah do it, Anne? Why?) * Ginger beer (who drinks this carbonated sandpaper? It makes your throat feel like you’ve just been sick) * Mourn the passing of movie trailer voiceover king Don LaFontaine (see the man in action) * 4Music (so, apart from Kylie, Dr Fox and some occasional Nelly, what are we really talking about here? Friday Night Project repeats, that’s what) * Bad lips (still, she’ll be alright if she falls in the water)