Recently a 15-second clip of Imagine was used in a weird creationist documentary by the man who played the teacher in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and it caused Yoko Ono to hit the roof. Yoko sued the makers of the movie for copyright infringement, but it looks like she’s been unsuccessful.

Yoko Ono has now dropped the lawsuit against the movie, presumably because the use of Imagine was covered under ‘fair use’ rules. So it looks like it’s one-nil to the creationists! You see, they’re always right! Apart from, you know, all their basic religious tenants and stuff! But still! Party time!

There’s just something about Imagine by John Lennon that has caused it to remain in the public consciousness for so long. Maybe it’s the fact that the lyrics seem to have been copied from a motivational fridge magnet, or the way that the piano sounds like it’s being played by a depressed man trying to gently headbutt himself into unconsciousness. We just don’t know.

But still, the song’s power to invoke a furore is still there – not so long ago a school banned Imagine in case the students all decided to gang up and, um, imagine they didn’t have any stuff. Or something. And now Imagine is back in the news, and it’s all the fault of the sodding creationists.

In a documentary called Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed from earlier this year – in which the actor Ben Stein asks why scientists aren’t allowed to believe that God magicked everything together a couple of hundred years ago anymore – a 15-second clip of Imagine was used.

This made Yoko Ono flip out. She hit Premise Media – the makers of the movie – with a copyright infringement lawsuit as hard as she could, either because she didn’t agree with the principles of the film the song was used in or because someone didn’t offer her a wheelbarrow full of cash for a song that she didn’t even write anyway first. Again, we just don’t know.

But, whatever the reason, Yoko Ono has decided to drop the lawsuit anyway, probably in the spirit of peace or something. The Wall Street Journal reports:

Executives at Premise Media Corp. acknowledged all along that they didn’t seek permission to use the song. But they argued that under “fair use” rules, they didn’t need to, since the film used only a brief portion of the song, to comment on. Anthony Falzone, a Stanford law professor who represents Premise, said he welcomed the plaintiffs’ decision to drop their lawsuits.

Sadly, though, this decision has come slightly to late for Expelled, because Premise were forced to drop Imagine from the DVD version in case the lawsuit went Yoko Ono’s way. So anyone buying a copy of Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed won’t hear Imagine by John Lennon any more. It’s been replaced by the next-best alternative – Fuck You Like An Animal by W.A.S.P.

Actually, Premise may as well have left Imagine in, because nobody’s going to actually buy Expelled on DVD anyway – evolutionists will find the subject matter too offensive to invest in, and creationists all believe that using money to buy things is essentially witchcraft, a crime punishable by drowning.

However, every successful star has a downfall, and he had a couple. But unlike today’s woozy musicians, like the moon crater face bloke from Keane, the copious amounts of drugs he took didn’t knacker him up. Instead, it was a stumpy Japanese woman called Yoko Ono.

Once she got hold of him, he kind of went a bit soppy, writing billions of songs in her honour. His other silly mistake was getting naked on a 1968 Rolling Stone cover with her. Not a pleasant sight. After John Lennon got his brains splattered across New York, she disappeared for a while. But still reappeared now and then to tell us that she was married to a Beatle.

Now she’s back to defend peg-legged Heather Mills. Another ex-Beatle’s wife. But, while Linda McCartney left us nothing but a horrible line of frozen food meals, Paul McCartney’s latest divorcee hasn’t quite done anything on such a scale. Probably because she isn’t dead yet. Though she is quite well hated now by a) gold-diggers who didn’t get to Paul first and b) legions of deluded Beatles fans who worship the ground their hero walks on.

Does it matter if he puts out a totally strange and crap classical-sounding album? Of course not, these fans will lap it up. The same fans who undoubtedly know where their hero buys his burgers and jockstraps.  

The ongoing Heather Mills v Paul McCartney feud has been gripping the nation for months. We’ve even been told that Hollywood wants to make a five-hour epic movie starring the two. Heather’s story will be told as a poor pauper girl who one day meets Paul, the man of her dreams at a vegetarian cook-off competition.

After discussing the ins and outs of leaf and pinecone soup, the two marry, argue and then fight. But it’s no ordinary fight. Their anti-meat diet gives them super powers. Powers where they fight through distant galaxies – in the past, present and future.

Rat milk drinker Heather recently got a fair slice of her ex’s wealth in last month's divorce settlement. How does £24.3 million sound? Not bad by anyone’s standards, but Heather was still hopping mad. And, no, it wasn’t because some cruel bastard nicked her false leg.

With that sort of money at her disposal, she can now afford a leg for all occasions. White and pasty; tanned and gorgeous; or battered and bruised.  

The press have never been kind to poor Heather. Ever since the two announced their marriage, plenty of people, including Paul’s own daughter Stella, said it would never work out.

Everyone was right, and if we’d been bothered to put a bet on, we would have been rolling in the money. Just like Heather is now. So while everyone shakes their fist at Heather Mills in anger, an unlikely source has come to her aid. That’s right, the former squeeze of John Lennon, Yoko Ono. She told Now Magazine:

"It's not very easy for a woman to be associated with The Beatles. I think all the wives did suffer, but suffered quietly and endured."

How it would be hard is beyond us. If we happened to be attached to someone famous, we think we could cope. Of course, our egos would swell and we’d demand vintage 1989 Tango, but is that so much to ask?

As our other-halves made all the money, we’d sit buy and count it all up – before throwing it in the air and re-counting it again.

Read More -  Yoko Ono defends Heather Mills saying its hard to be married to a Beatle – Now Magazine