So that’s that, then – the next time you see OJ Simpson will be somewhere in the tiny window between 2017 and 2041.
On Friday OJ Simpson was sentenced to anything between nine and 33 years in jail for his part in last year’s bewildering hotel room armed robbery. If he serves the full term, we’re looking forward to reading the book that 94-year-old OJ Simpson will publish on his release, tentatively titled If I Did It, Wait, What’s My Name Again? Who Are You? Are These My Trousers? They Smell Funny.
That’s unless OJ Simpson’s appeal is successful. Oh, didn’t we mention that part?
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Now’s the time to start hoarding your special edition Passenger 57 DVDs, because you might not see Wesley Snipes again until 2011.
Now that he’s officially a convicted tax-dodger, Wesley Snipes is waiting to be told his fate, and prosecutors are urging the judge to hit him with the maximum three-year jail sentence, with a $5 million fine thrown in on top.
It sounds particularly harsh, but prosecutors want Wesley Snipes to serve the maximum punishment so it will deter any Wesley Snipes fans who think that not filing your tax returns is cool. Although we’re sure none of them think that – if Wesley Snipes has any fans at all, we’re not even sure they’d be able to spell their own names, let alone file any tax returns.
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Americans, if you happen to stumble across an incoherent hairy Greek man asleep at the wheel of his car this summer, don't be alarmed.
Although his unshaven appearance and man boogly eyes might make you think he's homeless or a terrorist, chances are it'll just be George Michael.
George Michael has announced his first tour of America for 17 years. It'll be an undoubtedly emotional tour for him – not only will it be a chance for George Michael to claw back some of the fame he lost there in the last decade and a half but he might even get a free weekend to wank at another policeman in a toilet again, just for old time's sake.
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