Year - HecklerSpray

Awesome Or Off-Putting: Homeless Japanese Lady Secretly Not Homeless In Victim’s Closet

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Japan’s housing system is a bit different than the rest of the world’s. For instance, although Tokyo and the surrounding locality constitute the largest metropolitan area in the world, no doubt complete with houses, apartments, sky rises and lofts, sometimes they still make old ladies live in the closets of the seemingly wealthy.

Excuse us actually – it appears our wording there was a bit off. Old ladies secretly living in the closets of younger men has never been state sanctioned in Japan – but it recently happened anyway.

And for an entire year too.

Red Hot Chili Peppers Split Up For Not Long Enough

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Hear that? It’s the sound of no ropey funk-rock jam workouts. Lovely, isn’t it? And best of all, it’s a noise you’ll be hearing a lot from now on.

That’s because Red Hot Chili Peppers have announced that they’re splitting up. We know, we were distraught too – what were the Red Hot Chili Peppers if not The Beatles of bad funk-rock that all sounds identical?

But, hey, relax – it’s only a temporary split! According to Red Hot Chili Peppers singer Anthony Kiedis, the group is disbanding for ‘a minimum of one year’ so that they can focus on other things for a while. So, although there won’t be a new Red Hot Chili Peppers album any time soon, at least you’ll be able to console yourself with the upcoming Flea Makes A Directionless Bim-Bom-Bim-Bom Noise Up And Down The Neck Of His Bass For More Than A Day 32-CD solo boxset.

Anna Nicole Smith: Dead For A Year

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Anna Nicole Smith – or 'the American Princess Diana' as one person called her before they felt silly and left the room – has been dead for a while.

For a year, in fact – today is the first anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's untimely death at the hands on all sorts of different drugs. And, although the anniversary has been marked by a moving tribute by Larry Birkhead, it's also being commemorated by the public as well.

So if you see any confused, slurring women stumbling around tonight, with their faces proudly daubed to make them look like the kind of clown that children see in horror movies, know that it's all in remembrance of Anna Nicole Smith.

Barbara Walters Thinks The Beckhams Are Fascinating – No, Really

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

If any of you want to appear fascinating to Barbara Walters, here's a tip – why not try splitting your time between humourless self-absorption and badly-tuned mewing with a touring nostalgic pop act?

Because that's what Victoria Beckham has done, and it's got her into Barbara Walters' prestigious 10 Most Fascinating People Of The Year list. Although her complete failure to establish herself as an actress or presenter on American TV might make it look as if Victoria Beckham has had a massively depressing year, at least the inclusion on Barbara Walters' fascinating list means it hasn't been a total disaster. And we're so happy for her that we're willing to overlook the fact that Barbara Walters calling Victoria Beckham fascinating is basically an admission that 2007 was so drearily unfascinating that everyone might as just suffocate themselves to death in their sleep tonight.