And now this. For what appears to be the billionth year on the trot, Britney Spears has been named as the most popular Yahoo search term of the year. Well, technically it was a combination of the search terms ‘Is Britney Spears dead yet?’, ‘Has Britney Spears died?’ ‘Seriously, is Britney Spears dead or not?’ and ‘Britney Speerz is funy LOL’ but none of those scan as well.

What’s most impressive is that Britney Spears managed to beat Barack Obama to the number one spot, which has to smart given his accomplishments this year. But it’s totally his fault – Obama had plenty of chances to put on a pink wig, wander aimlessly through a car park and babble in a British accent in the grip of a full-blown psychiatric meltdown, but instead he chose to become president-elect of America, the big idiot.

No matter how spectacularly she manages to destroy every conceivable aspect of her personal and professional life each year, the first week of December always provides a little bit of a respite for Britney Spears.

Not only is it Britney Spears’ birthday week, which at least allows her to chalk off another year lost to the ravages of alarming mental illness, but it’s also the week when Yahoo announces that more people search for her on the internet than anything else.

We’ve been here before, of course – Britney Spears was the top Yahoo search term in the year when she divorced the father of her children, the year when she shaved her hair and went completely batshit mental and a year prior to those when Britney seemed comparatively normal.

So let’s be fair, being popular on the internet is all Britney Spears has got and, by God, does she ever fight hard to hang onto her crown. Remaining the top internet search term in 2008 was always going to be tricky for Britney – not only had Barack Obama made history by becoming the first ever black president of America, but Britney’s arsehole parents wouldn’t even let her go outside and drive a car through an orphanage or punch cattle square in the face or whatever it is the voices in her head tell her to do – but by christ, she’s done it. According to AP:

Spears bested World Wrestling Entertainment, Barack Obama, Miley Cyrus and the online game “RuneScape” as the five most-searched terms of 2008, the Web portal and search company announced Monday, a day before the singer released her new album “Circus.” Jessica Alba, the anime series “Naruto,” Lindsay Lohan, Angelina Jolie and “American Idol” rounded out the top 10 list.

So how did Britney Spears do it? Well, the fact that Womanizer made it to number one probably helped, as did the heartwarming news that Britney was about to go on her first full tour in several years. And, oh, what was that last thing? We had it a moment ago, but… oh yes, that’s it – the way that Britney Spears had a full-on juddering meltdown that ended up with her being literally locked in a padded room because she couldn’t even remember how to chew food properly. That might have also been a reason, in retrospect.

So congratulations to Britney Spears for being the top internet search term for the fourth consecutive year. And good luck for 2009 because, short of hijacking a bus and driving it off a bridge, we genuinely don’t know how you’re going to out-crazy 2008.

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Yahoo has just published its top 10 internet searches of 2007, and Britney Spears has come out on top yet again, making her officially bigger than professional wrestling, Saddam Hussein and Fergie out of the Black Eyed Peas. She may be in the middle of her own private hell, but at least by being searched for on Yahoo more than anything else this year, Britney Spears can still take comfort from the fact that she's still popular.

We just wish we had the heart to tell her that most of the searches in full were either for 'Britney Spears' horrible minge,' 'Britney Spears looking like a dick at the MTV awards', 'Britney Spears is a terrible mother' or 'Britney Spears: why?'

Britney Spears has only three mottos in life: knickers are for the weak, never rehearse a comeback when you can just listlessly attempt to wing it in front of an audience of millions instead and start as you mean to go on. Since Britney Spears started 2007 by collapsing unconscious in a nightclub, we can only assume that she takes that motto the most seriously.

And if anything, Britney Spears has just gained momentum as 2007 wore on – head-shaving, puking, botched comebacks, multiple stints in rehab, suicide attempts, accusations of child abuse, shit-smeared magazine photo shoots, car crashes, arrests, speculated unwanted pregnancies, family in-fighting, Gimme More – that's the kind of borderline-tragic year we absolutely wouldn't wish on anyone except for Britney Spears.

But at least all that hard work has paid off, because by dedicating herself solely to the art of ruining every single part of her personal and professional life, Britney Spears has made sure that she's been the most-searched thing on the whole of the internet according to Yahoo.

Yahoo's top searches list of 2007 has been released, and here it is:

1. Britney Spears
2. WWE
3. Paris Hilton
4. Naruto
5. Beyonce
6. Lindsay Lohan
7. Rune Scape
8. Fantasy Football
9. Fergie
10. Jessica Alba

Of course, this is nothing new – Britney Spears has been queen of the internet before a few times, and now she's in the position where even a temporary drop to second place would be enough for Britney to launch into the sort of crying screaming incomprehensible breakdown that she usually only reserves for when she's trying to relay a single piece of simple information to her own children.

But while Britney Spears wonders what terrifying, mentally ill-seeming shenanigans she'll have to pull out of the bag to retain her Yahoo Search Queen crown in 2008, let's not forget that there's still the best part of a month to go until the end of the year. That's why we're urging everyone to go to Yahoo immediately and search for 'Dame Thora Hird's Pubic Hair'. Together we can win this thing. 

Read more:

Britney Tops Yahoo Searches For 2007 – Associated Press