Here at hecklerspray we’d never dream of gossiping or making crude or childish remarks about celebrities or their sexual preferences. The depraved acts we’ve considered in the bedsit alone (and not counting the ones we’ve scheduled for the Christmas party) are enough to make any sane person question their sexuality, so we’d never judge anyone.
But then again, we are also enormous liars who will make fun of anyone silly enough to be famous for a living.
WE HEARD THAT WOLVERINE LIKES THE WARM TOUCH OF SOMEONE EQUALLY HAIRY AND MALE!!
Read More >>>
It must be rotten being Hugh Jackman. Everyone thinks you’ve got metal claws coming out of your knuckles and you have a face like a leper’s sandal. Still, at least he’s obscenely wealthy eh? What could possibly worry him?
Well, for your information, Hugh is very worried, actually.
By what you don’t ask? We’ll tell you anyway. He’s frightened of online imposters. Not sharks. Not being stabbed through the rib cage with a pitchfork. He’s frightened of people playing make believe.
Read More >>>
Matthew Vaughn (producer/director of Kick Ass, X Men: First Class, Lock Stock etc) is finding himself in the middle of a baby drama. That’s not to say he’s remaking Three Men And A Little Lady, but rather, everyone thinks he’s got someone pregnant who isn’t his partner.
Everyone is talking behind their hands and saying that he’s the father of the thing that is currently growing inside of Mad Men’s January Jones. Yes, that’s her real name. And yes, she was born in January.
Now, January Jones is an attractive lady, so you may well think ‘Cuh! There ain’t a hope in hell that someone with a face like that could have sexual relations with a hottie like her!’, but you must remember that Vaughn is currently shacked up with Claudia Schiffer.
Read More >>>
Fanboy idol Hugh Jackman knows when he puts on the mutton chops that he is onto a winner.
So much so that, now he’s back again as the Gillette razor clawed Wolverine, he’s barely made any effort to make this entry stick out from the rest of the franchise.
Read More >>>
Vinnie Jones was glassed in the face at the most inopportune time – he was just about the to start the Merchant Ivory phase of his career.
But now that he’s had 48 stitches in his face, that’s all over. Now we’ll never have the pleasure of watching Vinnie Jones starring in would-be classics like Gimme A Room Wiv A Fackin View, ‘Owerd’s Bleedin’ Bellend and Hullabaloo Over Georgie and Bonnie’s Pictures? I’ll Give You A Hullabaloo Over Georgie and Bonnie’s Pictures Yer Filfy Nonce.
Anyway, nobody’s been charged for Vinnie Jones’ brawl. We could have said that to begin with, really.
Read More >>>
You may recognise Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut from X-Men 3 – but, whatever you do, you must never actually tell him that.
Seriously, don’t. There’s so much more to Vinnie Jones than being in an X-Men film, like being the mute thug in that John Travolta thriller from seven years ago, or being the ninth male lead in Eurotrip. Honestly, the man is an artist.
So don’t tell Vinnie Jones that you recognise him from X-Men because, if you do, he’ll beat you up until he gets arrested. Which seems to be more or less exactly what happened in South Dakota last week.
Read More >>>
Tom Cruise is continuing his run of trying to make people think he’s less of a massive mental, religious freak.
First he stopped jumping around like a particularly stupid chimp, he stopped going on about Scientology in public – though he did see some of his private video collection released, much to the delight/terror (delete as appropriate) of the general public – and he’s seeing some rave reviews flying about for his small role in Tropic Thunder. So what next?
Well, it’s obvious isn’t it? Star in a superhero film, and get someone like Sam Raimi on board to produce. Which is, apparently, what’s being pushed for by Tom Cruise and Warner Bros, who own the rights to Sleeper – a short running comic book series from a few years back. Well, Raimi’s already on board, but you get the point.
And you can’t fault the man’s logic.
Read More >>>
