Posts tagged as:

X Factor

Some Div From Blink 182 Considering Hypnotherapy Because A Plane Sensibly Tried To Kill

by Mof Gimmers

Blink 182′s (pronounced ‘blink one hundred and eighty-two, or, if you prefer ‘oh god, it’s that dreadful puke mongers again!’) Travis Barker has decided to let the world know that he’s considering undergoing hypnotherapy to overcome his fear of flying. Why does he have a fear of flying? Is it because he thinks that, if [...]

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X Factor Week 7, Part 1 – The One With All The Postmodernism At The Judges Houses

by Sophie Hall

Good weekend, was it? Had some enjoyable sandwich fillings and simulated some erogenous zones, did you? Yeah. Yeah. Us neither. Never mind, because The X Factor was on too, and if that wasn’t amazing enough it was a 2 hour special Judges Houses special as part of a special exclusive double X Factor weekend special. [...]

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X Factor Week 6 Review, Part 2 – THE OTHER BIT OF BOOT CAMP WHICH STILL MEANS THE ABSOLUTE WORLD TO US

by Sophie Hall

Are you prepared to embark on the second half of a VERY BIG DEAL? Yeah? A very very big deal, in the manner of Back to the Future 2, or when they let Leslie Grantham back on television for a while? Alright, fair enough. Nobody had time to prepare for that. This was the second [...]

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X Factor Week 6 Review, Part 1: BOOT CAMP! THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO US!

by Sophie Hall

God, it’s been an exciting week, hasn’t it? All that meth and all those Curly Wurlys you’ve been eating. Your excitement has literally burnt through your eyes so you can fully necessitate new levels of awesome and amazingness and degenerative myopia. Now to top it all off, it’s Boot Camp on the X Factor. It’s [...]

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Pop Promos: Wait, Is This All Scroobius Pip’s Fault?

by Lauren Mullineaux

Us here ‘Spray writers have written a lot of words over the years and it is with tired hearts and mangled hands that we begrudgingly bring this to you now.  Scroobius Pip is currently informing us that journalism is redundant through our pathetic laptop speakers, America is still unwittingly executing people, and R.E.M have just [...]

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Cher Lloyd Wishes Tulisa Had Mentored Her Instead Of Cheryl Cole Who She Hates

by Matthew Laidlow

The hype that surrounds X Factor 2011 is starting to finally quieten down. Unless you live Stateside, in which case, we apologise. We’ve endured the taunts and teases about which judges would step in for Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole, Kylie Minogue’s sister. Louis Walsh’s alleged nightclub incident could’ve seen him judging from the cells. The [...]

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X Factor Week 5 Review, Part 2 – It’s The End Of The Auditioning Stages As We Know It

by Sophie Hall

On Sunday, we witnessed what came to be the last programme documenting the audition process of the underrated, revolutionary post-feminist Space Opera series “The X Factor 2011″. Hear that over there? That’s Ewan Mcgregor singing Your Song in a melancholic manner with an umbrella. See that over in the other direction? That’s your inescapable loneliness. But [...]

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Harry From One Direction Attacked By A Cake In G-A-Y [Video]

by Mof Gimmers

So let us get this right: It’s disgusting and pervy for a fully grown adult woman to fancy Justin Bieber, but it’s totally okay to lust after the march team of amniotic gyrators from One Direction? Just trying to understand the psych of you monstrous men and women out there. Anyway, womby fancy-piece, Harry Styles [...]

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X Factor Review Week 5: The Return of the X Factor Double Bill Part 1

by Sophie Hall

Welcome back to another double bill (Yes, ANOTHER DOUBLE BILL. That’s twice the amount of normal, regulated X Factor, twice in a row. Write it out in a graph, if that helps. You may as well. You don’t have any friends anymore, anyway) of The X Factor NEXT GENERATION. As always, we were presented with [...]

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Cheryl Cole Blows Up Simon Cowell With A Massive Bomb Given To Her By The Army

by Mof Gimmers

Have you ever looked at Simon Cowell and thought to yourself; ‘I’d like to get a load of plastic explosives and blow him and his botoxed face off the face of the Earth, just for giggles’? Well, that’s exactly what Cheryl Cole did yesterday. Remarkably, she did it with the help of the British Army. [...]

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