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X Factor

X Factor Week 13 Review: Radio Argh! That Really Stings!

by Sophie Hall

trav·es·ty [trav-uh-stee] noun 1. A literary or artistic burlesque of a serious work or subject,characterized by grotesque or ludicrous incongruity of style, treatment, or subject matter. Remember that. trav·es·ty [trav-uh-stee] noun 1. A literary or artistic burlesque of a serious work or subject,characterized by grotesque or ludicrous incongruity of style, treatment, or subject matter. Remember that.

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STV Forced To Cover Up Obvious X Factor Fix

by Michael Park

You X Factor fans are a fine bunch of conspiracy theorists and when it was preemptively announced that one of the eliminated caterwaulers had been allowed back into the show, the viewing public gathered in the streets with pitchforks and torches, desperately seeking someone to pin the blame on. When Loaded’s Man of the Year [...]

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Frankie Cocozza Booted Off X Factor For ‘Breaking Golden Rule’, Whatever That Means

by Mof Gimmers

Well would you believe it? Frankie Cocozza has been given the heave-ho from the X Factor, which means that all you people who hate him won’t have blood erupting from your eyes every Saturday night. Are you happy? Of course you’re not. Janet Devlin still exists with her faux-modesty, which is a crime far worse [...]

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Tulisa Doesn’t Like Kissing Girls, So Don’t Get Any Ideas You Lesbians

by Matthew Laidlow

If it wasn’t for this year’s limp X-Factor judging panel lineup, then nobody would have a chuffing clue who Tulisa was. The nation are still mourning the loss of everyone’s number one toilet attendant batterer, Cheryl Cole. She had been doing a fine job at crying at any opportunity, but times are always-a-changing. This year [...]

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X Factor Review Week 12: Review Disco Bullous Impetigo

by Sophie Hall

Have a nice time at the fireworks, did you? Ate a potato and wrote the F word with a sparkler, did we? Well – that’s quite enough satire for one day, guys. It’s a double elimination on the X Factor, and in a few weeks we’re going to have a professional musician on our hands, [...]

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Steve Jones And Nicole Scherzinger Are Being Forced To Have Sex By Simon Cowell

by Mof Gimmers

Steve Jones is so potent that he could get a homophobe’s trousers aroused. He could probably get a kitchen table pregnant. God. He’s just so sexual. He’s so sexy that TV productions companies know it and that, because he’s got a relatively self-effacing sense of humour, you can say that people are having sex with [...]

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X Factor Kitty Calls One Of The Risk Something Really Racist (‘Vote For Me’ Face)

by Mof Gimmers

The X Factor splits Britain into two camps. Those that despise it and those that don’t watch it. Those poor swine who don’t watch it can’t escape it. It’s everywhere, being rammed down your modem all the stinkin’ time. Anyway, here’s an article about the X Factor. AND IT CONTAINS RACISM! HURRAY! That’s right. The [...]

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X Factor Week 11 Review: The Khaki Horror Bitch Tableau

by Sophie Hall

Happy Halloween! Lots of love, The X Factor. And boy, what a massively inconvenient (or should we say SPOOKY) set of affairs the week offered up for Saturday Night’s show. These devastating (or should we say GHOULSOME!) happenings came in a threefold sequence throughout last week. 1. Kelly Rowland is for some reason angry and [...]

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N-Dubz: Fazer To Be Set On ‘Stunned’ By Misha B.

by Paul Pencott

Do you see the hilarious pun we did in the headline? Do you? It’s writing like this that wins prestigious awards. So, N-Dubz – you know, the guy in the silly hat, the quite fit one and the other dude – have been a bit quiet of late, what with Dappy going it alone with [...]

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Sinead O’Connor Doesn’t Like To See People Crying On X Factor, The Blubbing Hypocrite

by Matthew Laidlow

Back when times were pure and innocent, only a few select events took up room on our calendar; such as birthdays and the elusive annual leave. Now, more and more meaningless events are cluttering our calendars as television bullies its way into our lives, sits down on top of us and angrily demands that we [...]

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