Articles tagged with: X Factor
X Factor Recap: Big Double Bill Action
And so it was the weekend when the big pulsating brains behind X Factor decided that they might as well do two shows in two days. That equals around three hours of hot singing action, plus judges comments. Dannii Minogue, fast receding into the background, has ceased to say anything of worth, and the occasional flashes to her still, eerie face have carved her a niche as the only subliminal judge on the panel. The other three still cast their important judgements, and Cheryl has now taken to the stage on at least three occasions to hug the weeping contestants, much like Mother Teresa would, had she ever been given the chance to get out of the slums to judge a singing contest instead. She's dead now, bless her. Has been for ages.
And so it was the weekend when the big pulsating brains behind X Factor decided that they might as well do two shows in two days. That equals around three hours of hot singing action, plus judges comments. Dannii Minogue, fast receding into the background, has ceased to say anything of worth, and the occasional flashes to her still, eerie face have carved her a niche as the only subliminal judge on the panel. The other three still cast their important judgements, and Cheryl has now taken to the stage on at least three occasions to hug the weeping contestants, much like Mother Teresa would, had she ever been given the chance to get out of the slums to judge a singing contest instead. She's dead now, bless her. Has been for ages.
X Factor Recap: Olly Murs And Some Other Bad Idiots
Yay! Big Brother's finished! Yay! That means we can talk about X Factor now! Yay! Until Christmas! Yay! Or until we take our own lives! YAY! Now, X Factor is still in that awful, unnecessarily long early audition part where people turn up, sing in a hilariously bad way and then go home to develop lifelong violent revenge fixations on Louis Walsh. These episodes barely warrant recaps, to be honest, but how else could we spend our time? Seeing friends? Going outside? Pah. So here are the X Factor contestants from Saturday who caught our eye - Olly Murs, Demi Cullum and Carla Schettini...
Yay! Big Brother's finished! Yay! That means we can talk about X Factor now! Yay! Until Christmas! Yay! Or until we take our own lives! YAY! Now, X Factor is still in that awful, unnecessarily long early audition part where people turn up, sing in a hilariously bad way and then go home to develop lifelong violent revenge fixations on Louis Walsh. These episodes barely warrant recaps, to be honest, but how else could we spend our time? Seeing friends? Going outside? Pah. So here are the X Factor contestants from Saturday who caught our eye - Olly Murs, Demi Cullum and Carla Schettini...
Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is
Happy and sad. Folded: Emeli Sande (criminally not in the video for Diamond Rings by Chipmunk despite doing all the singing. Buy her stuff anyway, it’s grrrr and soulful) Benefit Busters on Channel 4 (all hilarious but ‘in conversation with Emma’ was comedy moment ...
Happy and sad. Folded: Emeli Sande (criminally not in the video for Diamond Rings by Chipmunk despite doing all the singing. Buy her stuff anyway, it’s grrrr and soulful) Benefit Busters on Channel 4 (all hilarious but ‘in conversation with Emma’ was comedy moment ...
WEBTHUMP! August 26 2009
10 - Like The Wire? Here, have some moderately exciting news - Interestment 9 - It's time to read your new favourite Portuguese-language celebrity blog! - Papelpop 8 - We'll be delving into this year's X Factor once we've built up a tolerance for it again. In the meantime, here's this - Watchwithmothers 7 - Let's play a game. If YOU had to replace the legs of a tortoise with a household item, what would YOU choose? - Best Week Ever
Five Stars Robbed Of The X Factor!
And so another year rolls around, and thousands of orphans will be performing song-and-dance routines, begging you not to turn your back on them, like everyone else they ever gave a damn about has. Early reports suggest that a quartet of hookers could be the next Pussycat Dolls, but no doubt they will be usurped at some point by a sniveling effeminate teen who has promised his dying nan that he will win X Factor for her. Regardless that she’s never seen it. It’s the television highlight of the autumn, and yet, they never quite get the winner right. In a perfect world, these people would all be trillionaires…
And so another year rolls around, and thousands of orphans will be performing song-and-dance routines, begging you not to turn your back on them, like everyone else they ever gave a damn about has. Early reports suggest that a quartet of hookers could be the next Pussycat Dolls, but no doubt they will be usurped at some point by a sniveling effeminate teen who has promised his dying nan that he will win X Factor for her. Regardless that she’s never seen it. It’s the television highlight of the autumn, and yet, they never quite get the winner right. In a perfect world, these people would all be trillionaires…
X Factor Returns On Saturday, Abandon All Hope Now
Just like Christmas, Easter, St George's Day and the mourning of our office hamster, X Factor has made its mark and become a regular calendar fixture. Entering series number six, the programme will once again whittle down a select few hopefuls from hundreds of thousands and give them the belief they’ll win an elusive record deal. And for the rejects? Well for a good five weeks ITV can boost its audience share by editing together programmes that contain utterly shoddy performers. Will there be tears? Burly council estate dads threatening the judges when their tubby daughter is rejected? Quite likely yes, but will there be Japanese monkeys wheeled in to work with the chosen few in bootcamp? We don’t really know, which is why we present our predictions for X Factor 2009.
Just like Christmas, Easter, St George's Day and the mourning of our office hamster, X Factor has made its mark and become a regular calendar fixture. Entering series number six, the programme will once again whittle down a select few hopefuls from hundreds of thousands and give them the belief they’ll win an elusive record deal. And for the rejects? Well for a good five weeks ITV can boost its audience share by editing together programmes that contain utterly shoddy performers. Will there be tears? Burly council estate dads threatening the judges when their tubby daughter is rejected? Quite likely yes, but will there be Japanese monkeys wheeled in to work with the chosen few in bootcamp? We don’t really know, which is why we present our predictions for X Factor 2009.
Susan Boyle Set To Bother You On X Factor
We dreamed a dream once. It involved us being dipped in Belgian chocolate and then being placed in the middle of a field full of cows and sheep. Don’t ask us what happened next, but suffice to say we don’t see those animals in the same way we once did. They're not as cuddly and cute as the books make out. Someone else who is all about dreams is Scottish mentalist Susan Boyle. While we don’t really want to know what goes on inside her head, she has sung I Dreamed A Dream a few times. Granted, it’s only been twice but the entire population of the world will have seen it now. Dermot O'Leary wants to pimp her out on X Factor. Hopefully she’ll sing another song. In the style of Slipknot. She probably won't.
We dreamed a dream once. It involved us being dipped in Belgian chocolate and then being placed in the middle of a field full of cows and sheep. Don’t ask us what happened next, but suffice to say we don’t see those animals in the same way we once did. They're not as cuddly and cute as the books make out. Someone else who is all about dreams is Scottish mentalist Susan Boyle. While we don’t really want to know what goes on inside her head, she has sung I Dreamed A Dream a few times. Granted, it’s only been twice but the entire population of the world will have seen it now. Dermot O'Leary wants to pimp her out on X Factor. Hopefully she’ll sing another song. In the style of Slipknot. She probably won't.
Simon Cowell Combines X Factor & Britain’s Got Talent In One Gigantic Evil Move
Hey kids! Do you like being spoon fed popular culture that you’ll eventually get sick of when the next talented young thing comes along? You do? Well that’s that bloody fantastic. You might have heard of Simon Cowell. He’s a man who wants to destroy the way we consume music and make us all buy the same drivel every year. So far, Simon and his team of chuckling sidekicks known as Louis Walsh, Cheryl Cole, Danni Minogue and former monkey Sharon Osbourne have introduced us to annoying twerps such as The Cheeky Girls, Chico, Leona Lewis, Leon Jackson, Michelle McManus and Alexandra Burke. Honestly, each time we hear their songs, we jizz in excitement. We’ll have to reload our ballsacks a bit quicker - Simon is combining both of his primetime shows!
Hey kids! Do you like being spoon fed popular culture that you’ll eventually get sick of when the next talented young thing comes along? You do? Well that’s that bloody fantastic. You might have heard of Simon Cowell. He’s a man who wants to destroy the way we consume music and make us all buy the same drivel every year. So far, Simon and his team of chuckling sidekicks known as Louis Walsh, Cheryl Cole, Danni Minogue and former monkey Sharon Osbourne have introduced us to annoying twerps such as The Cheeky Girls, Chico, Leona Lewis, Leon Jackson, Michelle McManus and Alexandra Burke. Honestly, each time we hear their songs, we jizz in excitement. We’ll have to reload our ballsacks a bit quicker - Simon is combining both of his primetime shows!
