John Lennon wrote some great songs didn’t he? He’s responsible for more great songs than your average band manages in a lifetime twice as long as Lennon’s musical career. As it would have been Lennon’s birthday this weekend, everyone has been heaping praise on The Beatles’ number one corpse.

However, we don’t much care for eyeless fawning at hecklerspray and knowing damn well that all musicians deserve to be treated with utter contempt, we’d like to put forward the reasons why John Lennon, when he was in the mood, was one of the worst song-writers on the planet.

And he was y’know?