Okay. Credit where credit is due: Madonna’s halftime show at the Super Bowl was pretty brilliant. That’s even taking into account that LMFAO showed up and the always disappointing MIA flipped the bird in an attempt to show her terrible hipster fans that she hadn’t ‘sold out’.
And so, if the Super Bowl show was anything to go by, Madge’s announcement that she will be going on a tour of the world should be met with some excitement.
Provided of course, her new LP (dubbed ‘MDNA’) isn’t a gigantic brown trout of a release.
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Charlie Sheen’s Violent Torpedo Of Truth tour has been hobbling around America, confusing and dumbfounding people and making people too thick to think titter every stinkin’ time he wheels out the whole ‘Uh, winning!‘ thing.
Until now, this dreadful spectacle has been confined to the boundaries of mainland America… but not for long. That’s because Sheeno is planning on hauling his pasty backside all over the world where, with any luck, he’ll find out just how tiresome humans find him.
And while he’s at it, he’s violating terms of his custody agreement, which could see him hilariously losing the right to see his long-suffering kiddiewinks. Defeat, it would appear, is most certainly an option.
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Guns N’ Roses’ bloated and abhorred frontman and only original member Axl Rose appears to have had yet another meltdown, this time announcing the cancellation of his entire world tour.
Not content with alienating himself from his bandmates, making the most expensive flop in music history, delaying any and all Guns N’ Roses output however he can as well as routinely showing up late for and randomly cancelling shows, Rose may have just decided to go all out and cancel every show he plans to play in the entire world!
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Madonna might turn 50 in a matter of months, but so long as she’s still a voice and a working fanny, she can’t be stopped.
And, with a brand new album of all the songs Timbaland hasn’t already sold to Nelly Furtado or Justin Timberlake or Ashlee Simpson in stores, it was only a matter of time before Madonna decided to go travelling round the world charging her fans a month’s wages to go and see her in concert.
Sure enough, Madonna has just released details of her new world tour. However, Madonna hasn’t publicly stated whether it’ll be one of those nice world tours where she sings all the old songs that people want her to sing or one of those rubbish tours where she only sings her rubbish new songs and everyone leaves feeling gypped yet, so don’t get your hopes up.
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If you were one of the 36 trillion people who tried to get tickets to see the Led Zeppelin comeback show last year, fret not.
That's because Jimmy Page has personally assured the public that Led Zeppelin will definitely tour the world really soon. The whole world. All of it. Even crap countries like Denmark.
And by that we mean that Jimmy Page has mumbled a couple of noncommittal words about Led Zeppelin eventually going on some sort of tour, but not for ages and actually he's not even going to think about it for six months anyway, but that's pretty much the same thing.
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