Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Basement-dwelling geeks rejoiced on Friday.
Why? Because Blizzard, the games developer behind massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPG) such as Starcraft and World of Warcraft, shelved its plans to name and shame all of the sad and desperate loners who shun real life in order to frequent its fantasy worlds.
Blizzard?s latest stroke of genius in the war on human interaction has received literally billions of complaints from people who don't know that it's summer.
10 – Help! We don’t know what to think about this new band. We think we like them, but we’re not sure. Help us out, would you? – Regards
9 – What? You want video evidence of all the worst accents ever attempted in film history? Here you go – Bestweekever
8 – A model playing World Of Warcraft naked. You’re welcome, fearsome loners – PopEater
7 – What were the best and worst TV panel shows of this decade? YOU DECIDE – Watchwithmothers
World Of Warcraft is huge – if you’re a lonely single male who smells like his own underwear, you’ll know this.
But what next? Once you’ve created a game as all-encompassing as World Of Warcraft – where you’re guaranteed to never be more than three feet away from a Korean adolescent with crippling emotional problems – what do you do next? Simple, you turn it into a blockbuster movie featuring a procession of silly haircuts and a borderline-harrowing egg-based musical interlude.
That is to say that Sam Raimi, director of Spider-Man 3 and no other films, is making a World Of Warcraft movie.
If we had the chance to meet Mr T, we’d literally collapse in excitement and piss ourselves until our bladder was dry. However, after watching his latest commercial, we’d really just want to know where it all went wrong.
We all know and love Mr T as B.A Baracus from The A-Team, where every week he’d literally go ape-shit on all the evil-doers and make sure they’d never trouble the orphanage, little Jimmy or your mum ever again. He’s such a hard bloke that we’d never dream of even challenging him to a game of paper, stones and scissors. Probably because he wouldn’t use any of those three tools. He’d just use the fourth weapon of pain to kick our arse.
