HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

Piers Morgan Continues Reign As World’s Biggest Arse

February 8th, 2012 By Kris Silver

Piers Morgan, the ever lovable former Daily Mirror editor and man for whom the word smarmy was invented, certainly has gotten his large, soiled knickers in a twist of late.

we're not even half way through the week and he's already attempted to take some cheap shots at 2 people who are infinitely more famous and loved than him.

It's the equivalent of the school weed slagging off the popular kids because they won't invite him to their fancy pool parties when their parents go to Tuscany for the weekend.

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Why Both Fifa and Pro Evo Fail To Be Realistic In 2010

August 5th, 2012 By Kris Silver

Wayne Rooney as seen in Fifa'09Fifa vs Pro Evo. It's a battle that has caused many a forum argument and playground bullying campaign as people try to decide which provides the better footballing experience. A battle that has had fresh life breathed into it with the release of the demo versions of Fifa 11 and Pro Evo 11 on both Xbox Live and PSN.

Having spent a long time playing both the latest Fifa and Pro Evo demos I can tell you that they once again offer a broad range of differing aspects of the game? and all of them are boring and insignificant.

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Paul the Psychic World Cup Octopus to Release Elvis Album

August 2nd, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

The World Cup in South Africa was so underwhelming and blighted by vuvuzelas that the world turned its attention to a grotesque cephalopod mollusc. Yep, it was Paul the Octopus who idly sat on boxes with flags on them while slackjawed journalists clapped giddly, banging the glass of the tank.

And now, in utterly bewildering news, Paul the Psychic Octopus is to going to release an Elvis Presley tribute album.

If he gets any more famous, at least he’ll be ace at signing autographs with all those horrible little grabbing arms he’s got.

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Can Someone Buy Cristiano Ronaldo A Baby Name Book, Please?

July 8th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

You can tell that Cristiano Ronaldo will be a good father to his three-week-old son. It’s perfectly obvious.

You can tell because he’s rich. You can tell because he has kindly eyes. You can tell because, um, he’s gone on holiday with a Russian model and left the baby with its nan. Alright, forget that last bit. The point is that fatherhood is bound to change Cristiano Ronaldo’s personality entirely. Now that he’s responsible for a young life, Cristiano Ronaldo is bound to become less self-obsessed, less egotistical, less…

What’s that? Cristiano Ronaldo has decided to name his son Cristiano Ronaldo? OK, forget everything we just said. The man’s a berk.

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

Thumbs up and thumbs down.

Folded:

  • This headline (so spot on it hurts)
  • Cricket (does anybody know we're actually good at this?)
  • This trailer for The Social Network (which does have Justin Timberlake in it, but is directed by David Fincher and written by Aaron Sorkin)
  • No more talking about sport for a bit (back to the weather then)
  • Glastonbury (more upsettingly poor each year, but at least there was some live music on telly for once)

Creased:

  • Leather sofas in summer (like sitting on a spit roast)
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SLACKERJACK: World Cup Penalty Shoot-Out

June 22nd, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

Now this is just cool. Penalty shoot-outs. Multiplayer penalty shoot-outs. Across the internet.

World Cup Penalty Shoot-Out is brilliant. All the thrill of a real World Cup penalty shoot-out without the knowledge that your house will be torched by someone with no sense of perspective if you miss. What’s more, apparently if you’re really good at this they’ll fly you to Brazil so you can play it with David Seaman or something. Although why you’d want to is anybody’s guess – you can just sit at home and play it on the internet, after all.

Play World Cup Penalty Shoot-Out now

Badvertising: Worst World Cup Ads

August 7th, 2012 By Steve Charnock

World Cup excitement has reached fever pitch. Fever pitch. That was a joke; see how easily they come to us? Fantastic?

We've all watched a lot of football recently. We've all watched a lot of football adverts recently as well. Here are the four worst World Cup ads, the four that make us wish we were North Korean goalkeepers about to die in mysterious circumstances?

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The Most Upsetting Story Ever: Dec Misses The Football

June 24th, 2010 By Justrestingmyeyes

Sometimes news comes through that is so shocking, so horrific, so unbelievably heart-rending and tragic, that you can barely fit it into your mind.

You try until you think your skull will pop, but it’s so monumental that it spills out of the sides, flushing away all rational thought, until all you can do is sink to your knees, beat the ground into a furious maelstrom of dust and misery, raise your tear-streaked face to the skies and scream, “Why? Why did this happen? No! Not to him! Not to Dec!”

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. Declan Donnelly missed the goal in England’s match against Slovakia.

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World Cup: England 1 USA 1 – The Lego Version

June 15th, 2010 By David Schwartz

OK, so everyone on this side of the pond are doing all they can to forget England’s dismal 1-1 draw against World Cup minnows USA.

But here is one way to get the smiles back on English faces – the match replayed in glorious Lego.

Ah, yes, Lego. See, even the hapless Rob Green looks good in Lego.

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Katy Perry Manages To Wear Slutty Dress Despite Human Tragedy

June 13th, 2010 By Paul Pencott

Queen of triviality and professional ?kook? Katy Perry this weekend appeared on ITV1?s World Cup Live show dressed in a horrendously tasteless PVC dress.

The viewing public was nearly robbed of this dubious treat as Perry had earlier tweeted ?

”Another amazing race for a dress has happen again. Important dress. It’s on a plane now, but plane had 2 emergency stop cuz someone passed away mid flight! So sad! So we’ll see if the dress makes it in time… If not, my world cup convo is gonna take a beating on the chat show.”

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