Beyonce, that is. Not Sasha Fierce. Unless Sasha Fierce wants to be Wonder Woman instead of Beyonce. But at the moment we just think that it’s Beyonce who wants to be Wonder Woman, and Sasha Fierce hasn’t got anything to do with it. Except that Sasha Fierce is Beyonce, so technically they both want to be Wonder Woman. Clear?

Good. Beyonce wants to be Wonder Woman in a new movie. Which sort of makes sense. She’s got the thighs for it, we suppose.

Several years ago, we ran a post about a potential Wonder Woman movie that never got made, and it seemed to inspire just about every hormonal teenage boy on Earth to suggest whoever their most recent brunette wank fantasy was to play her. We heard about everyone from Carmen Electra to Kate Beckinsale to Shania Twain, but nobody mentioned Beyonce.

And, in retrospect, that may have been slightly foolish. Because Beyonce has decided that she wants to play Wonder Woman in a movie, and we get the feeling that she’s going to start kicking stuff over unless it happens. The LA Times quotes:

“I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman? It would be great. And it would be a very bold choice. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It’s time for that, right?”

Of course it’s time for that. After all, we hear that Barack Obama only decided to historically campaign to become the first black president of America so that the one out of Destiny’s Child with the wobbly arse could have a slightly better chance of playing a campy second-rate superhero whose main weapon is a tatty piece of rope. It’s completely time for that.

But just because Beyonce wants to be Wonder Woman, does it mean she’s right for the part? Personally we’re worried. Although she already possesses the superpower of epileptic hysteria, Beyonce’s a woman who likes to inhabit her roles – to lose weight for Dreamgirls she famously went on a syrup-only diet, and for her upcoming movie about Etta James she gorged herself on food and put on 6kg – so God knows what sort of ridiculous diet she’ll need to go on to play a mystical Amazon who flies around in an invisible plane.

But that’s just a quibble. The main reason why we don’t want Beyonce to play Wonder Woman is the same reason why we’re dubious about any Beyonce performance – there’s a very strong chance that Jay-Z will pop up two-thirds of the way through the movie and mumble about fur coats for about 20 minutes.

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