Articles tagged with: Won
Keanu Reeves Didn’t Run Over No Stinking Paparazzi
Like many people, we've often dreamt of jiggling around flashing lights into Keanu Reeves' face as he attempts to drive a car. But we've been too scared to do that, because of that paparazzo who claimed that Keanu Reeves mercilessly mowed him down while he was doing that exact same thing. But our days of worry are far behind us, readers - Keanu Reeves has been cleared of liability over the accident. You know what that means? It means that Keanu Reeves didn't run over photographer Alison Silva last year, yes, but mainly it means that we're all allowed to be as infuriatingly intrusive towards Keanu Reeves while he's in his car as we like, and he almost certainly won't drive into us as fast as he can, shattering our pelvis into a million pieces. Almost certainly. Result!
Like many people, we've often dreamt of jiggling around flashing lights into Keanu Reeves' face as he attempts to drive a car. But we've been too scared to do that, because of that paparazzo who claimed that Keanu Reeves mercilessly mowed him down while he was doing that exact same thing. But our days of worry are far behind us, readers - Keanu Reeves has been cleared of liability over the accident. You know what that means? It means that Keanu Reeves didn't run over photographer Alison Silva last year, yes, but mainly it means that we're all allowed to be as infuriatingly intrusive towards Keanu Reeves while he's in his car as we like, and he almost certainly won't drive into us as fast as he can, shattering our pelvis into a million pieces. Almost certainly. Result!
JK Rowling Crushes ‘Harry Potter Lexicon’ In Her Giant Metal Fist
Remember that book about Harry Potter that JK Rowling didn't write that made JK Rowling so furious that she almost pooed her spine out in court? You do? Well in that case you'll be pleased to know that JK Rowling has won her court case. A judge in New York has claimed that Steven Jan Vander Ark's The Harry Potter Lexicon does illegally plagiarise the Harry Potter novels and so it can never be released. What does this mean? In short it means that if Harry Potter fans want to buy a secondary book that acts as a reference guide for the myriad Harry Potter characters, locations and themes, they can now either a) wait for JK Rowling to finish writing her Harry Potter encyclopedia or b) grow up and stop being such moon-faced, sappy-eyed farty arseholes with their gormless wizard fixations and their stupid bloody haircuts.
Remember that book about Harry Potter that JK Rowling didn't write that made JK Rowling so furious that she almost pooed her spine out in court? You do? Well in that case you'll be pleased to know that JK Rowling has won her court case. A judge in New York has claimed that Steven Jan Vander Ark's The Harry Potter Lexicon does illegally plagiarise the Harry Potter novels and so it can never be released. What does this mean? In short it means that if Harry Potter fans want to buy a secondary book that acts as a reference guide for the myriad Harry Potter characters, locations and themes, they can now either a) wait for JK Rowling to finish writing her Harry Potter encyclopedia or b) grow up and stop being such moon-faced, sappy-eyed farty arseholes with their gormless wizard fixations and their stupid bloody haircuts.
