Womanizer - HecklerSpray

Womanizer By Britney Spears: She’s Number One! She’s Number One!

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

There are all kinds of ways to tell if your comeback has been successful, but Britney Spears has easily just found the best one.

Britney’s big new comeback single Womanizer has jumped 95 places in the American singles chart to reach number one. And you know what they say – when a song that sounds like Professor Stephen Hawking‘s faulty voicebox being jumpstarted by a big spluttering clown-car engine gets to number one, you’ve probably been accepted by the general population to some extent.

And now that Womanizer‘s number one position is the cherry on Britney Spears’ public rehabilitation cake, it’s time for her to celebrate. How? The same way she always does – by shaving her head, mashing anti-psychotic drugs into her food and trapping her own children in a bathroom until she’s sedated and taken to a mental hospital. Hooray!

Britney Spears Naked In The Womanizer Video. For Once

October 13th, 2008 By Stuart Heritage

Britney Spears is no stranger to being naked these days – she loves showing her skin so much these days that we even know what her scalp looks like.

But forget all that, because here’s the video for Britney Spears’ new single Womanizer and – guess what – Britney’s naked in it. What? Oh, for God’s sake, can’t you at least pretend to look interested?

Remember when the thought of seeing Britney Spears naked was sort of exciting? It was a long time ago, granted, and now that same thought probably inspires the sort of queasy fear you experience when you know you’re about to be attacked by a mad red-eyed old bald lunatic clutching an umbrella, but it was there once.

Britney Spears’ Womanizer Single Honked Up All Over The Radio

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Britney Spears is worse than we thought – far from making a full recovery, she’s actually regressed to the point where she can only robotically babble vowel sounds.

It’s true – Britney Spears’ new single got its official radio debut today, and she basically only does two things in it. First, Britney Spears just goes “Oh oh ooh ooh ah-ah-ah” over and over again like C-3PO getting a stinging nettle handjob, and secondly she says the word ‘womanizer’ 41 times in a row. We’ve forgotten what the song’s called.

So is Womanizer by Britney Spears going to be another hit? It had better be – we’ve always said that what Britney Spears is to be violently thrust into the spotlight a bit more.

38 Badly-Recorded Seconds Of Britney Spears’ Womanizer Leaked

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

You may have heard that Britney Spears is back – and for once ‘back’ doesn’t mean ‘back sobbing on a pavement with no knickers on’.

Britney Spears is actually back. Back doing singing and dancing an dancing and stuff. As we recently reported, the new Britney Spears album Circus will be released in December. But it’s going to be preceded by a single called Womanizer, and that single’s been leaked, and we’ve got it here.

So does Womanizer mark Britney Spears’ stunning return to cultural relevancy? It’s actually hard to tell, because the leaked version is 38 seconds long and sounds like it was recorded from a mobile phone onto another mobile phone in a tin bucket full of jelly down a well in space. But we’ll just assume that it doesn’t, anyway. We’re bastards like that.

Britney Spears Releases New Album ‘Circus’ Frighteningly Soon

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

As evidenced by her nanosecond appearance at the MTV VMAs recently, Britney Spears is back to her best, and that can only mean one thing.

Yes, that’s right – Britney Spears has got a new album coming out soon. According to a just-released missive from her record label, Britney Spears’ new album is to be called Circus and will be released on December 2, with a new single entitled Womanizer coming out next week.

It’s exciting stuff, but why has Britney Spears chosen to call her new album Circus? Well it’s easy – Britney Spears wanted to name her album after the best description for the inside of her own head. Other contenders for the album title were Swirling Kaleidoscope Of Terrifying Cackles, The Theme-Tune To Taxi On An Unrelenting Loop and Barely-Pulsating Gloop.