Paris Hilton is no stranger to prizes - in her life she's won everything from the Most Pointless Wonky-Eyed Skinbag award to a statuette for Best Internet Blowjob (Wonky-Eyes Class).

But now Paris Hilton gets to add an award to that list that actually exists - yesterday Paris was officially crowned as the Harvard Lampoon's Woman Of The Year.

And, really, Paris Hilton winning an award at Harvard sends an undeniably positive message to the women of the world - that they can accomplish anything they put their mind to in life, provided they've got a billionaire grandfather, a month-long jail sentence under their belt and a tendency to suck men off and film it for the internet.

Forget the Oscars and the Grammys and the Golden Globes - they're all rubbish, largely because Paris Hilton won't ever win any of them.

Where it's at now, kids, is the Harvard University Woman Of The Year award, because - other than the inaugural Dozy Wonk-Eyed Slapper gala set for later this spring - it's just about the only award that Paris Hilton will get this year.

No, really, Paris Hilton is going to get a Woman Of The Year award. We're not making this up. Promise.