Willow Smith - HecklerSpray

No More Special Brownies For The Smith Kids

November 19th, 2014 By Megan Leitch

If the world needed any more proof that Scientology breeds bat shit crazy, they need look no further than Jaden and Willow Smith.?? As if being a teenager doesn’t automatically make you enough of a ridiculous ignorant ass, these two show us just how far down the rabbit hole one can go with enough money and lack of real parenting.

The siblings have given an interview that kind?of sounds like it was written by?the love child of Gary Busey and Amanda Bynes. ?To sound like a super stereotypical white girl in my 20s, I legit cannot deal with these two assholes.

Two People I Don’t Care About in Lie in Bed Together: Scandal Ensues

May 9th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

stupid

File this under: daily scandal you probably won’t give a shit about. 13-year-old Willow Smith (is she seriously still 13?!), daughter of Will and Jada, posted the above pic on the Tumblr (as my nan would call it) of her in bed with a topless 20-year-old Moises Arias (aka Rico from “Hannah Montana”) and apparently a lot of people are pretty outraged.

I, however, am not one of those people. Willow and her brother, Jaden, are members of Kendall and Kylie Jenner’s crew of “Kids that clearly have no parental supervision ever” (as is Moises, even though he’s 20 and doesn’t really need it now, regardless of the fact he looks 12), so frankly nothing they do anymore shocks me in anyway.

Calm Down Willow Smith, You Are Not Rihanna.

July 11th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

Just when we thought we’d seen the last of the stubbly-headed Fresh Prince prot?g?, Willow Smith comes out with a fresh new earworm ready to ruthlessly burrow it’s way in to our brains.?

Just when we’d managed to get ‘Whip My Hair’ out of our heads, too. If there’s anything more uncomfortable than listening to a 12 year old sing about her ‘Summer Fling’, then it’s a forced and completely out-of-place British accent. Poor Willow – imagine having your awkward 12-year old self and all it’s bad decisions being broadcast to the masses.

J-Lo’s Ex Is Having It Away With Will Smith’s Wife In Famous By Association Triste?

September 2nd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

As well you know, Jennifer Lopez split up with her fella, Marc Anthony recently, and everyone was so shocked that the UN set up a helpline to stop us all from committing suicide in the streets. It really was an awful time.

It’s about to get worse.

See, Marc Anthony is not happy to just break one celebrity marriage now that he’s been reported to be “inappropriately close” to Jada Pinkett Smith – or, if you prefer, Will Smith’s wife. Oooooooh. Don’t mess with lovely Will Smith.

Wiki-Wa-Will Smith To Make Rap Comeback

August 18th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The best ears in rap are coming back! Yep, you guessed it, Will Smith is to return to the mic to show those odiously gifted children of his how it should be done. No mucking about with Bieber, no whipping of hair. It’s all about making the friendliest hip hop since DJ Sven and MC Miker G.

Apparently, he’ll be working with someone called La Mar ‘Mars’ Edwards.

We can be thankful that didn’t read Bruno Mars who has the distinction of being the most punchable person on planet Earth right now. We’d like to punch Bruno Mars so hard that all that is left of him is a horrible little stain on our knuckles. But we’re talking about the lovable eared Will Smith. Aww. Ain’t he grand?

Willow Smith Is Better Than You In Every Way And Might Be Starring In Annie Remake

January 20th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Despite being roughly 3 minutes old, Willow Smith is already more talented, more fun and more wealthy than you could ever hope to be. When she becomes an adult, she’s probably going to be attractive too. We should just all throw ourselves into the sea.

When you were her age, you probably spent most of your time switching between playing with toys and wiping bogeys down the side of your bed.

Well, when Willow isn’t delivering the most infectious pop record in yonks, she’s got her eye on the movies too. Makes you sick with jealousy, doesn’t it?

Jay Z First Buys Will Smith’s Daughter Willow – Next Stop, Arsenal Football Club

September 15th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Jay Z is an incredibly busy human being for someone who has retired a million times already. Since he decided to lead a quiet life, he’s married the most famous woman on the planet, released records, headlined Glastonbury, headed up a massive record label and recently, played the first ever show at the brand new Yankee Stadium in New York with Eminem and Kanye West.

So, that’ll be that then won’t it? He’ll know glide slowly into a life of Horlicks (with Kristal in it) and (diamond encrusted) slippers and (weed) pipe. Right?

Wrong. See, J-Hova has got more plans which include buying Arsenal Football Club (that’s a ‘soccer’ team to any American readers) and owning the soul of Will Smith’s daughter.

Will Smith’s 9-Year-Old Daughter Is Already More Successful Than You’ll Ever Be

September 10th, 2010 By Limara Salt

What were you doing when you were nine years old? Playing with Lego? Revising for a GCSE? Picking your nose and eating it?

If any of those suggestions bring back horrible memories of what you got up to before discovering masturbation, congratulations, you are normal. Well, sort of normal. You’re normal when compared to the insanely over-confident children that are only bred in Hollywood but rest assured, you’re still pretty weird.

We’re trudging up your horrible childhood because once again, Will and Jada Smith have decided to roll out one of their spawn into the cruel world of entertainment thus setting up their entire future of being told how shit they are. We’re already quite used to Jaden Smith, who at the age of 12 has already racked up a few successful movie roles and co-starred in a Justin Bieber video. Ooooh, get him! Very successful and not even a teenager as the rest of us try to make a dinner out of the scraps left in the cupboard whilst using our now useless degree certificate as a plate.