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Weekend

Heckler Festival Guide: One Big Weekend, Maidstone

by Matthew Laidlow

It’s that time of the year again when music lovers gather in a field to celebrate the thing they love, live music.

There are all sorts of festivals to cater for all sorts of musical tastes in all four corners of the world. The main ones kick off at this time of year and hecklerspray is here to tell you all you need to know about each festival, who the essential people are to see and which act to avoid so you can queue up for the overflowing shit-filled portaloos.

We begin with the first big festival-type affair of the year, Radio 1’s Big Weekend. This particular bash doesn’t have a fixed location, but over the years it has proved to be a popular event for all who can get a ticket.

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Semi-Pro Scrapes Weekend Box Office Win

by Stuart Heritage

By now you all probably know about new Will Ferrell movie Semi-Pro thanks to all the talk show appearances, semi-ironic product advertising and constant TV trailers.

Thing is, though, it seems you know so much about Semi-Pro from all of this that none of you bothered to actually go and see the thing.

Although Semi-Pro is the US weekend box office number one, it only managed to scrape together a meagre $15,200,000 – roughly a tenth that Spider-Man 3 made in the same amount of time. Does Semi-Pro’s relative failure mean that the public is getting sick of Will Ferrell sports comedies? Well, yes. Plainly it does. Can’t you people read?

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Jumper Drives A Bus Through Weekend Box Office

by Stuart Heritage

Ah, Valentine’s Day weekend. What could be more romantic than dragging your girlfriend to see a hokey sci-fi movie on the off-chance that you’ll get to see Rachel Bilson in her bra.

You guessed it – Jumper is the top movie at the weekend box office.

Jumper, you’ll remember, is the film where Hayden Christensen can jump through space in an instant. We’re looking forward to when he learns to jump through time, because maybe we can convince him to undo the Star Wars prequels. And Factory Girl. And Awake. And maybe, if we’re lucky, the moment he decided to be an actor instead of a Superdrug shelf-stacker.

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The Bucket List Pushes Weekend Box Office Daisies

by Stuart Heritage

In January, people like to go and see uplifting films that help them escape the wintery gloom that surrounds them. Or films about Jack Nicholson dying, one or the other.

Because that’s what The Bucket List is about, and The Bucket List is currently the top movie at weekend box office. It’s not difficult to see why The Bucket List did well at the US weekend box office – it’s basically a remake of Cocoon, but one where all the old people die at the end instead of getting zapped up by aliens.

And, really, who can honestly say they they weren’t a little disappointed when all the old people didn’t die at the end of Cocoon.

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National Treasure 2 Just As Weekend Box Office-y As Ever

by Stuart Heritage

National Treasure: Book Of Secrets has now been the top movie at the weekend box office for three weeks, which is remarkable because nobody seems to have a clue what the bloody thing’s about.

But still, National Treasure: Book Of Secrets must have something going for it, otherwise it wouldn’t be so flipping popular at the US weekend box office. Maybe National Treasure: Book Of Secrets has done such good business at the weekend box office because it is a masterpiece, or maybe it answers a number of profoundly upsetting questions that the cinema-going public may have had for some time now.Or perhaps – just perhaps – National Treasure: Book Of Secrets is number one at the weekend box office because the main competition this week comes from a shitty horror film about a spooky telephone.

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The Golden Compass Does OKish At Weekend Box Office

by Stuart Heritage

Since Christmas 2007 doesn’t have a Harry Potter or a Narnia or a Lord Of The Rings, the wintry epic title this year goes to The Golden Compass – but how did it do at the weekend box office?

It did alright. Ish. We suppose. For a festive family fantasy blockbuster with a budget of $180 million, The Golden Compass managed to top the US weekend box office, but only by taking a relatively paltry $26 million. The Golden Compass’ failure to ignite the weekend box office any more than, say, Flubber or S.W.A.T will be a disappointment to many, but a timely reminder that there’s only a certain amount of dads in the world able to convince their children to see a movie just because Nicole Kidman wears a tight gold dress for about three minutes in it.

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Enchanted Enchants Enchanting Weekend Box Office Enchantingly

by Stuart Heritage

The heavyweights of cartoon/ live-action hybrids – Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Space Jam, that thing with Paula Abdul and the chain-smoking hip-hop cat – must now all make room for Enchanted.

Disney’s latest movie Enchanted is the number one movie at the US weekend box office. Oh, you know Enchanted – it’s hardly as if you’ve been able to go more than ten seconds without seeing an Enchanted trailer, billboard or large cinema cardboard cut-out looming down at you lately, is it? But it’s not just relentless promotion that’s pushed Enchanted to the top of the weekend box office – Enchanted also teachers the viewer several profound socially-relevant lessons too, as shown in the Enchanted scenes where everyone mocks the midget and the chipmunk pulls a funny face. Or something.

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