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Weekend Box Office

Angels & Demons Pope-O-Splodes The Weekend Box Office

by Stuart Heritage

Honestly Ron Howard, talk about phoning it in. Yes, we all know how successful The Da Vinci Code was, but put some effort in.

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Star Trek Klings On To Weekend Box Office Top Spot

by Stuart Heritage

Do you want the good news or the bad news? OK, the good news. Star Trek is the first Star Trek movie in ages that’s any good.

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Obsessed Attracts The Weekend Box Office, Fatally

by Stuart Heritage

Fatal Attraction was OK, but the wife never had a music video where she danced like she was trying to shake a leech off her bum.

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17 Again Tops The Weekend Box Office (Not Again)

by Stuart Heritage

17 Again really does look like the perfect family movie for anyone who has short-term memory loss and can’t remember Big.

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Fast And Furious Tops Weekend Box Office Quickly And Angrily

by Stuart Heritage

People, try to remain calm. This is horrifying news and we don’t know how you’ll take it – Vin Diesel is famous again. We know, we know. It’s distressing, isn’t it? And it’s all the fault of Fast And Furious – the fourth film in a never-good franchise that’s inexplicably topped the weekend box office [...]

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Monsters Vs Aliens Tops Weekend Box Office, So Hooray For That

by Stuart Heritage

Sometimes the top weekend box office movie can be terribly disappointing, as is the case with Monsters Vs Aliens.

Why’s it disappointing? Because we’re not entirely sure there’s anything to properly mock about it – it looks funny, it’s in 3D and it stars Stephen Colbert, Paul Rudd, Will Arnett, Kiefer Sutherland and Seth Rogen – just about the best approximation of a hecklerspray safe list ever created.

Seriously, we’re stumped. And, frankly, we blame the American public. If only you’d been more eager to go and see dreary-looking films about spooky Connecticut, we wouldn’t be in this position. Damn you.

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Weekend Box Office: Witch Mountain Pees On Watchmen’s Parade

by Stuart Heritage

Anyone with half a brain knew that Watchmen would open at number big in the weekend box office last week. The real question, though – the question that could potentially lead to other beloved comicbooks being adapted into spectacular big-budget movies – was whether Watchmen could keep the weekend box office number one spot. It [...]

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Watchmen Utilises Blue Penis Power To Top Weekend Box Office

by Stuart Heritage

Watchmen is the frenziedly-anticipated, two decades in the making movie adaptation of an alarmingly revered comic book.

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Weekend Box Office: Tyler Perry Beats Off The Jonas Brothers

by Stuart Heritage

The Jonas Brothers are a genuine sensation – in all seriousness, they might just be the biggest act on Earth.

And the Jonas Brothers had a film out on Friday. So what’s the number one movie at the weekend box office this week? You guessed it – it’s Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes To Jail.

Poor old the Jonas Brothers – they weren’t really supposed to be beaten by a man dressed as a fat old lady for another decade until their success waned and they developed drug habits that opened them up to a world of mind-bending transsexual S&M. Those lucky Jonas Brothers.

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Madea Goes To Jail Shivs The Weekend Box Office

by Stuart Heritage

They say that Oscar weekend is the perfect time to sneak out obviously terrible movies, but that can’t be true.

Because Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes To Jail is the new weekend box office number and that absolutely isn’t an obviously terri… no, hang on. Madea Goes To Jail is a prison film about a man in a female fat suit, isn’t it? OK, we take it back.

So Madea Goes To Jail won’t win any Oscars, but at least it’s the best ever movie about a black man in a female fat suit. Or the fifth best. Oh, forget it.

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