Fresh from its victorious sinking of the Tumblr Trawler, Webthump is here to receive your adulation!
Well, not quite. We’ve donned our fisherman’s waders to have a carcinogenic rummage in the foetid, elbow-deep cesspool that is the Internet. All to bring you something to gawp at while fondling your shriveled genitals. We could have been doing something useful with our time, like whittling voodoo dolls of Russell ‘new relationship’ Brand from old lolly sticks.
From the congealed masses of pornography and dead Myspace pages we’ve managed to dredge up a few sparkling gems of entertainment. We’ve brought you 10 of the best, worst and weirdest that mankind’s collective intelligence can vomit up.
Hecklerspray are always itching to exploit the latest internet fad for our own gain. As such, we’ve callously ditched Webthump in favour of a new feature which looks at the very best (and worst) Tumblr accounts. So join us below deck in the murky underbelly of the Tumblr Trawler.
5. Babies are ugly enough as it is without the Renaissance painters making them look so damned hideous. Number 5 on this week’s trawl is Ugly Renaissance Babies. Thanks to @ShivvyShiv for that disturbing look into the past.
3. Sometimes the classics are the best and when @ChurlishMeg sent us Kim Jong-Il Looking At Things, we knew we had to include it. Seen it before? It doesn’t matter; for some weird reason, it’s still absolutely hilarious.
2. No longer will you have to stumble through life wondering your opinions and actions are racist or not! This handy tumblr, sent to us by @JemmaHatty, will let you know for certain. At number two, it’s Yo, Is This Racist?.
1. Some of you are just sick and some of the tumblrs you send to us aren’t terribly funny. This week’s number one is hilarious but only if you have a really sick mind. @MelReeve sent us She Has A Secret. You shouldn’t laugh but you probably will.
If you think you know any better tumblrs and want your name on board next week’s Tumblr Trawler then get in touch with Deputy Editor Michael on twitter.
10. Not content with being a famous actor/musician/turkey-peddler Martin Kemp has taken to inventing emoticons. Is there no end to this man’s talents?!
9. Hallowe’en’s coming so here’s a gentleman teaching you how to TEAR YOUR GOD DAMNED EYE OUT!! Or at least make it look like you did.
5. Sexism’s cool, right? That must be why this story’s on the Newsbeat page.
4. Just what in the name of blue balls is flarf poetry? It hardly matters. Or maybe this interview by Ruth Tolerton with poet Spencer Madsen will explain. MAYBE.
3. It’s almost Hallowe’en so of course you want to go as a… wait… a “sexy” Wolverine? Riggggghhhhht.
10. Dappy from N Dubz is, astonishingly, the cover star of Total Carp. No. That’s not a typo. This is a magazine about fish and there’s a lovely, lovely shot of the singer holding a massive fish. – Blub
9. Thud.
8. Paul Daniels hospitalised by Sooty launching a pizza at him. This is actual news. – NotALot
10. MF Doom and Wu Tang’s Ghostface team up for tunes and a tour of the UK?! Yes please! – Supa 9. A really great little animation that does puberty in one minute. 8. Quite simply the most astonishing news story you’ll ever, ever read. – WOW 10. MF Doom and Wu Tang’s Ghostface team [...]
10. Stewart Lee has a pop at the Daily Mail regarding Michael McIntyre. He’s very clever dontchaknow? – Words 9. Jetpac balls-up. 8. Get camera. Run away from it. Ace photos. – Click 10. Stewart Lee has a pop at the Daily Mail regarding Michael McIntyre. He’s very clever dontchaknow? – Words 9. Jetpac balls-up. [...]
Fresh from its victorious sinking of the Tumblr Trawler, Webthump is here to receive your adulation!
