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There’s nothing better than a nice antique leather chair to help you relax after a long day at work.
Well, this theory may be put to the test with the announcement that Nancy Dell’Olio is to pose naked in an upcoming edition of everybody’s favourite spunk-rag, Playboy.
The Strictly Come Dancing star is apparently really eager to show everyone just what Iggy Pop’s chuff would look like if he were a woman.
The papers spent another week, making in-depth relationship analysis about Wayne and Coleen Rooney based entirely on photographs of them sitting in or near water.
The Mirror started it off on Monday with a picture of them in the pool in Dubai with the headline ‘Not a Care in Wayne’s World’. We’re not suggesting Wayne’s head is swimming with philosophical thought but when a man is trying to save his marriage from collapse after being exposed for having an affair with a prostitute, it’s probably fair to say that he has quite a lot on his mind regardless of his location at the time.
The Star were so desperate for a Wayne angle to keep him on the cover they claimed that Wayne had spent £10,000 on breast enlargement for Coleen. They based this conclusion on two watertight pieces of evidence; firstly by comparing two bikini shots, and then having a quote made up in the pub, but contributed to ‘fans’, that “Wayne must have bought her the £10,000 twin strikers to say sorry for being a love cheat”. Read More >>>
The Daily Mail was enjoying its moment in the sun this week as the originators of a genuine ‘internet phenomenon’- the cigar guy snapped at the Ryder Cup by one of their own photographers. Yep, it took a week off from articles about suicide websites, and middle class houses being destroyed by Facebook-alerted gatecrashers, to decide this technology thing might be a bloody good wheeze after all.
What isn’t fun at all though are drugs. Especially when taken by successful hard-working people.
After Nigel Kennedy’s recent admittance to smoking marijuana the Mail’s comment section, whilst discussing children selling drugs at school, put the blame on celebrities such as “classical music’s self-styled bad-boy”. Only in Mailworld is a 53 year-old classical violinist a corrupting influence on the youth of today. Read More >>>
Celebrities. We love hating them. You do too if you were being honest with yourselves. In fact, you probably love the ones you hate more than the ones you love. So with that, let us poke some celebrities with a great big shitty stick for no reason at all. We’ll berate you while we’re at it.
And so, here’s something to make you all feel a bit better about your pointless, futile lives. Ugly celebrities! Look at them! Look at their faces! Look at their ugly, celebrity faces! Makes you sick, eh? They’re disgusting.
Urgh!
Fifa vs Pro Evo. It’s a battle that has caused many a forum argument and playground bullying campaign as people try to decide which provides the better footballing experience. A battle that has had fresh life breathed into it with the release of the demo versions of Fifa 11 and Pro Evo 11 on both Xbox Live and PSN.
Having spent a long time playing both the latest Fifa and Pro Evo demos I can tell you that they once again offer a broad range of differing aspects of the game… and all of them are boring and insignificant. Read More >>>
Of all the celebrities in the known universe, Kerry Katona has to be one of the most gaspingly awful. She couldn’t really sing, can’t really muster up the acting talent to get through an Iceland commercial and is only ever on the radar elsewhere when she’s making a mess of her life.
There is, naturally, a human under all this, but that shouldn’t stop us from being idiotically nasty about her because basically, that’s our job… just as hers is to provide us all with the ammo to throw back at her.
And so, what’s she up to now? Well, she’s actively encouraging us to sharpen our arrows and prime our slings as she’s ranted and spat about Wayne Rooney’s alleged infidelity with a prostitute, dubbing it “absolutely disgusting”. Read More >>>
Up, down.
Folded:
Creased:
Throughout this Wayne Rooney prostitute palaver, one person has been keeping conspicuously silent.
Wayne Rooney? No. Colleen Rooney? No. The prostitute who allegedly had it off with Wayne Rooney all those times? Well, obviously not, no – she’s barely been able to keep her trap shut all week. No, we’re talking about the prostitute’s dad. How are we supposed to get a rounded picture of the scandal unless the man who fathered the woman who reportedly received money to put Wayne Rooney’s penis in her mouth gives his opinion on the matter?
Well, it must be our lucky day. Hamish Thompson – the father of prostitute Jenny Thompson – has offered a sincere apology to Colleen Rooney. So that’s that sorted out, then.
