Waterloo Road - HecklerSpray

10 TV Shows That Need To Be Put Out Of Their Misery

September 3rd, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

The five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. ?It doesn’t just apply to having to flush your poor goldfish down the toilet, couch potatoes of ever variety go through the same emotions every time a TV show is cut down in it’s prime.

So why is it that some poor shows are allowed to limp forlornly in to their next season? Main characters having jumped ship long ago, story lines becoming more and more ridiculous, nobody watching them but extras trying to catch a glimpse of themselves. Sometimes the networks need to realise the right time to stop trying to flog that dead horse.

Tips On How To Survive The Denise Welch Menace

February 7th, 2012 By Robin Darke

Denise Welch officially splits from Tim Healy, not that anyone cares anymore. Remember at the end of Jurassic Park where all of the dinosaurs were left to their own devices and untouched by human hands again? And when King Kong was shot fell to his death from the Empire State building? And when Ethel Skinner was put down by Dot Cotton, ending her reign of sexual terror? Well, these are examples of when it’s acceptable to lock up/euthanise sexual threats because they pose a threat to greater society.

Unfortunately, we are facing a turning point in our history because one of these situations has arisen again: Denise Welch is single again.

The 2012 Celebrity Big Brother winner and Byker Grove star confirmed the worrying news yesterday on Loose Women, where she spoke candidly and without any prompting from her agent about the situation between her and Career Geordie, Tim Healy.

Strictly Come Dancing: The Sex-Pesting Begins

August 5th, 2012 By Jacki Evans

Just in case the return of the X Factor had left you in any doubt as to what season it is, the gods of reality TV have decided to point out to us all that it is September, and therefore it is Christmas.

And they've done this through the medium of celebrities in sequins grinding their genitals against poor, unsuspecting professional dancers. Apart from the huge amounts of wine and the chance to crush people?s souls with disappointingly awful presents, is one of hecklerspray?s favourite things about the neverending festive season.

Yes, Strictly Come Dancing is back, bringing with it all sorts of vitally important questions. Like who?ll cop off with their dancing partner, which is the only question we really care about. Our money?s on Edwina Currie. That woman willingly had sex with John Major. She clearly has no standards.

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

This week?s diamonds and diamante.

Folded:

Shutter Island (it's good, but you won't get it)
Our first election debate (with 25-year-old set design. Felt young again. Thank you, ITV)
Cheapy Easter eggs (half price and loving it. Kinnerton, Green & Black?s 70% Dark, all the fun ones)
Episodes From Liberty City arrives on PS3 (only six months late)
THIS news is astonishing (it will change your life)

Creased:

LEE RYAN IS BACK (it's a grower. Like fungus, or a cyst)
That big nasty cloud of volcanic ash (yeah, we know, but it is a teeny bit exciting too)