watch - HecklerSpray

Tulisa Runs Away To USA Where They Don’t Have The Internet Or Sarcasm

March 29th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Leave it! Two two’s naaah! Tulisa Contostavlos is fleeing the UK to hide away in the US after being repeatedly mocked over her sex tape with MC Ultra. Mainly because she doesn’t appear to be very good at giving gobbles.

The X Factor judge is planning to escape by heading to Miami to visit ?Terius Nash (or, The-Dream to you) who clearly doesn’t have the clout to be sarcastic about her sex tape and indeed, mustn’t have an internet connection like the rest of America.

So what’s The Female Boss (Female Nosh more like) saying about it all?

New Total Recall Trailer Has A Trailer All Of Its Own [Video]

March 28th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Have you seen Total Recall? Stupid isn’t it? The only good bits are the woman with 3 boobs, the robot taxi driver, Arnie’s woman disguise, the funny Krang-esque stomach face and Arnie pulling that massive thing out of his nose.

Hang on. Total Recall is clearly brilliant.

Going from apathetic to furious, the film is being remade and the trailer for the trailer has been unleashed online. The full thing is coming on Sunday, but it’ll be awful. It’s got Colin Farrell in it for a kick off.

N-Dubz Fazer Incoherently Vomits Into Twitter Concerning Tulisa Sex Tape

May 31st, 2013 By Mof Gimmers

We’ve all seen the ALLEGED Tulisa sextape by now, haven’t we? If you have she’s ALLEGEDLY not very good at blow-jobs. And she ALLEGEDLY likes hitting herself on her ALLEGED forehead with a penis.

Anyway, it’s all gone a bit mental and injunctions have been taken out, Dappy has said it was definitely her in the video and that it was bandmate Fazer who had his widger on show.

So what does Fazer have to say about it? Well, in a baffling missive, Fazer has vented on twitter in such a manner that he may well have been typing with his cockie.

Obligatory Mention Of Tulisa’s Sex Tape

May 31st, 2013 By Mof Gimmers

So, Tulisa has a sex tape does she? Of course, lawyers are saying it isn’t her (although the video contains someone with the exact same DNA as the X Factor judge, it seems) and everyone is hastily taking down stills from the video.

That’d be the video which has Tulisa’s dead-ringer sucking what appears to be (actually is) an engorged male member. Apparently, the phallus whacks her on the forehead at one point, which is always nice.

But of course, legally speaking, it isn’t her… despite what Dappy – her bandmate and cousin – said on twitter, dropping her right in it. Just think of that. Watching your cousin’s sex tape. How very, very tasteful.

Trailer Park: Fighting Old Men And A Lot Of Screaming

August 6th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

We are pleased, delighted, and completely over-excited to inform you all that the popular director Michael Bay will be getting some money from a film studio to make a film called Ouija. Yes, it's had a massive budget cut which means that the even more popular director McG probably won't be directing it anymore, but fear not guys where?s there's a will, there's a Bay (see what we did there?)

We can't show you a trailer because it's not got that far yet, sadly, but just imagine people sitting in a dark room on the floor moving their hands, while pretending not to, around a wooden board. AOK.

Now, down to business, films, trailers, film trailers, they're all over the place and one film gets like three trailers sometimes; talk about overkill. Those slick Hollywood suits know how you think though. They?re phone hacking your brain with technology far more sophisticated than we care to disclose at this time and they know you like the trailers.

Pop Promos: Living Memes And Bad Haircuts

August 6th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

We go on the internet, sometimes, and this week we've been seeing lots of people ?Tweeting? about various musical videos which we intended to talk to you about, but we can't seem to find them. Instead we're hung up on the Hulk Hogan sex tape.

It does seem that lots of people have been doing things though and we're not entirely sure when any of them found the time; between joining dross festival line-ups and announcing two-bit world tours, who has the time?

The Arctic Monkey?s, who the hell do they think they are releasing a steady stream of music like its 2004 all over again. Shall we watch some videos?

Top 10 Monkees Songs (RIP Davy Jones)

August 4th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

With the sad passing of Davy Jones (okay, he was the least likeable of The Monkees, but he’s A Monkee fercryinoutloud!) it only seems fair to pay some kind of tribute to him and the band that made him a star.

No. His brief spot on a popular British soap doesn’t count.

And so, to avoid been overly sentimental fans, we’ve decided to simply let the music do the talking and push our worthless opinion in your face. Basically, here are the ten best tracks by The Monkees and as ever, you’re advised to tell us about your favourite songs either through the comments or through various social networking technology.

Trailer Park: English Accents And A Dwarf In An Oven

August 7th, 2012 By Lauren Mullineaux

Today we got a text and what it said was profound and in caps. The delight that greeted us was simply, ?TWO DAYS IN NEW YORK: JULIE DELPY, CHRIS ROCK.? We ignored it because why would we not?

We live in a world where it's okay to like Julie Delpy and her massive idiosyncratic glasses that anthropomorphise her face; yes, we do realise that that's not even possible. We live in this world, but we don't have to like it (we do) and we definitely don't have to watch it (we do).

Anyway, eurgh, movies are rubbish, especially the ones that haven't even come out yet, they're so rubbish that they make us feel emotions and always, always wish that our life was like them. It's nice to wish your life was like the movies. It's also delusional and if your favourite movie is Natural Born Killers then its borderline psychotic. Trailers are even more dangerous. Trailers compact this into two minutes of adrenaline fuelled longing; it's like having emotional epilepsy. Shall we watch some trailers?

Oh God, East 17 Are Now A Soft Rock Band. No, Seriously

February 21st, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Jesus wept. East 17 are back. And now, for some dreadful reason, they’re ready to shout “ARE YOU READY TO ROCK WALSALL?” because they’ve ditched the boyband sound and decided to become a rock band.

If only we were making this up. We even have video evidence.

Tony Mortimer and the other two that aren’t Brian Harvey, are peddling some dismal adult soft rock, thinking they’re like the Kings Of Leon or something. Take That are said to be losing absolutely no sleep over this. And yep, get over the jump for the video.

WWE’s Chyna And A Hulk Hogan Lookalike With A Hard-On

February 17th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Followers of pro-wrestling are invariably still washing their brains with industrial bleach after seeing the skinny-flick of Chyna and her very large nubbin being taken on in the ring by fellow grappler X-Pac.

Of all the celebrity sex-tapes, it really is up their in the harrowing league with Gene Simmons and Screech Powers.

Not that this is stopping our Chyna. She’s decided to make a career out of nudity and, having appeared in Playboy a couple of times, she’s now making a porno which is based on the Royal Rumble and features a Hulk Hogan lookalike with his lad out, ready for some Spunkamania. And yes, we’ve lost our lunch three times already, just thinking about it.