Yesterday Shia LaBeouf was a fugitive on the run from the law, like Harrison Ford in that film Working Girl.

Not today, though – today Shia LaBeouf has faced his crimes like a man, like Harrison Ford in that film The Fugitive. Well, not 'faced his crimes' exactly – Shia LaBeouf has pleaded not guilty to the awful accusation that he smoked on a pavement once.

But at least Shia LaBeouf actually got around to entering a plea this time – up until that point he had an arrest warrant on his head for not tuning up to court at all. It's a stern lesson to all that you can't run from the law, no matter how adorably boyish your iddle widdle puppy dumpling cheeks are.

Nature isn't the only thing that abhors a vacuum – celebrity justice hates them equally as much. As soon as a celebrity – say, Phil Spector – finishes his court case, Paul McCartney and Heather Mills decide to get divorced. And if you were worried that you'd be strapped of celebrity court appearances until the OJ Simpson trial gets started, don't be – Shia LaBeouf has manfully stepped in to plug the void.

You see, although Shia LaBeouf might look like the sort of dungaree-wearing mischievous six-year-old who keeps a worm in a matchbox as a pet and has his own treehouse, in actual fact he's a court-hardened bastard. Shia LaBeouf got to being that way from living on the seedy underside of life where people don't think twice about politely refusing to leave a drugstore even though a security guard asked them nicely.

That's not the extent of Shia LaBeouf's badassery, though – earlier this week he failed to show up in court on an unlawful smoking charge and was hit with a full-blown arrest warrant as a result. But Shia LaBeouf scoffs in the face of arrest warrants. Shia LaBeouf cares not for puny arrest warrants, he tosses them aide like… oh, in actual fact Shia LaBeouf doesn't scoff at arrest warrants at all. Instead he quickly sends a lawyer to court to make everything all better. People reports:

A court commissioner in Burbank, Calif., recalled a $1,000 bench warrant Shia LaBeouf for on Wednesday after the actor's attorney arrived a day late to plead not guilty on LaBeouf's behalf to illegally smoking. LaBeouf, 21, was not in the courtroom when attorney Michael Norris entered the plea for the misdemeanor offense before Commissioner Kirkland Nyby. A pretrial hearing was set for April 24, says Superior Court rep Allan Parachini. 

Do you see that? Shia LaBeouf might have apologetically instructed a lawyer to get his arrest warrant ditched but he still pleaded not guilty to his unlawful smoking charge. Shia's so determined to fight the system that he's prepared to turn a routine five-second court appearance into an epic battle of multiple drawn-out court appearances and expensive legal fees. That's right Shia! Beat the man!

Sometimes we really wish we were American taxpayers, you know.

Read more:

Court Snuffs Out Bench Warrant for Shia LaBeouf – People 

It's a good job that Shia LaBeouf has a face so adorable that it looks as if it's been pieced together with moonbeams and kitten-fluff.

That's because Shia LaBeouf is just about the crummiest law-breaker that the world has ever seen. After his recent arrest for standing a pharmacy for too long, Shia LaBeouf has now got in trouble for smoking cigarettes as well.

Worse still, Shia LaBeouf now has an arrest warrant on his head after skipping his smoking-based court appearance, something which stands to jeopardise his next fiendishly evil ruse – scrumping apples from Old Man McGee's orchard to bake and sell a selection of delicious yet unlawful pies from his mother's drive.

Don't be fooled by Shia LaBeouf's puppyish face or innocent sparkly eyes, because at heart he's nothing more than an evil mastermind who'll stop at nothing to smash the system. You can see it in the way that Shia LaBeouf blabbed the title of the new Indiana Jones movie even though Steven Spielberg had apparently asked him not to, or the way that he decided to star in Transformers even though he must have known it would be worse than terrible.

But Shia LaBeouf's troublemaking streak doesn't just extend to ropey-looking blockbuster movies – Shia LaBeouf is also intent on breaking the law as often as possible in the most shocking of ways. Like, for instance, in November when Shia LaBeouf bought the justice system to its knees by standing around in a Walgreens and not leaving when a security guard asked him to. You have to admit that's badass.

Thanks to Walgreens dropping the charges, though, Shia LaBeouf didn't achieve his life-long ambition of going to prison, which is why he planned his next atrocity – smoking on a pavement. Wait, it gets worse – smoking on a pavement and then not showing up to court. E! Online reports:

Thanks to his nicotine habit, the rising star is wanted by the cops after skipping a court hearing to answer a ticket for unlawful smoking. A warrant was issued Tuesday for the arrest of the Transformers star after neither he nor his attorney turned up in a Burbank, Calif., courtroom, a court clerk confirmed. According to TMZ, the 21-year-old thesp was busted for puffing illegally on the sidewalk outside a gift store called Skyblupink. Arraignment was scheduled for 8 a.m. for the misdemeanor offense. The judge issued a $1,000 bench warrant once he determined LaBeouf was missing in action.

Shia LaBeouf has really done himself in by skipping the court appearance. Had he shown up, he'd have probably been let off with a minor monetary fine, but now he faces the harshest punishment that an unlawful smoking bust can offer. That's right – the sheriff's going to sit him down and make him smoke 20 packets of cigarettes one after the other right in front of him. Menthol ones, too – these people don't mess around.

Of course, there's a chance that Shia LaBeouf will avoid jail again for this awful crime – in which case the world will just have to tremble in anticipation of his next fearsome outburst. And it has every reason to – we hear from our sources that it'll either involve spitwads or kissing girls behind the woodwork block.

Read more:

Shia's Smoking Warrant – E! Online 

Hayden Panettiere is best-known for being the cheerleader from Heroes who can mangle up her body and then spontaneously regenerate – either that or being the one from Heroes that makes you feel the most like a dirty old man.

However, if you're from Japan then Hayden Panettiere is a high-profile fugitive who hates Japanese culture to such an extent that she's in a huge amount of trouble for it. Admittedly that's because the part of Japanese culture that Hayden Panettiere hates the most is the way they slaughter dolphins – and her surfboard-based pre-dawn attempts to disrupt a dolphin cull last month has resulted in a Japanese arrest warrant being placed on Hayden Panettiere's head. Forget 'save the cheerleader, save the world'; this is a case of 'arrest the cheerleader, curtail a potentially knotty international diplomatic incident'.

Also, it's thought that – following Hayden Panettiere's Japanese arrest warrant – the schizophrenic porno girl from Heroes who used to be in Dawson's Creek has decided to keep her controversial anti-Hello Kitty sentiments to herself for now.

Of all the western TV shows ever made, only two have really stood out for their love of Japanese culture. One was Tenko – which concerned itself with the ancient Japanese practise of putting bits of glass in Stephanie Beacham's dinner – and the other is Heroes, thanks to the break-out success of lovable Japanese geek Hiro. Heroes loves Japan.

But Japan doesn't love Heroes back, because the cute cheerleader girl from the show keeps trying to stop them killing dolphins all the time. And now that cute cheerleader girl – Hayden Panettiere – is going to get arrested for it.

The story started last month when, along with five of her friends, Hayden Panettiere paddled out to sea on a surfboard to to try and disrupt attempts by local fishermen to slaughter a bunch of dolphins; only to become trapped by the fishermen, who contained her with their boat propellers and pushed her with sticks until they got to kill the dolphins like they wanted to. At the time Hayden Panettiere described the dolphins as:

"So pretty. They were teddy bears in the water. They slowed down and started gathering in the net towards us. This little baby popped its head out and looked at us and all of us just wanted to cut them out of the nets and set them free.”

However, so infuriated are the Japanese by Hayden Panettiere's actions that they've placed an arrest warrant on her head. Although Hayden was stunned into silence when she was told of this on live Australian TV yesterday, she's since put out this statement:

“Obviously this issue has generated defensive behaviour on the part of both the Japanese Authorities and Fishermen,” she said in the statement. “I have grown up hearing – and adhering to – this phrase: ‘condemnation without investigation dooms one to everlasting ignorance.’ We must unite as a world to solve our increasing international environmental crises. We can no longer hide [behind] out-dated, senseless cultural traditions and lazy, bad habits that are resulting in the annihilation of our planet’s resources and the extinction of our species.”

Of course, it could be argued that Hayden Panettiere's actions and statements show a lack of understanding of the greater issue here. For example, if it wasn't for the dolphin cull, Japanese fishermen wouldn't have a livelihood. Plus, the Japanese Fisheries ministry maintains that the dolphin slaughter is done in a highly-sustainable way. And also, Hayden should be thankful to the Japanese for killing all the dolphins, because if those buggers ever grow legs and thumbs and decide to invade dry land then that's us done for, buddy.

But it's unlikely that Hayden Panettiere will ever willingly go to Japan to get arrested, so all of this is moot. And that leaves the Japanese government with two real options here – either they can capture Hayden Panettiere and ship her off to Japan in a cargo ship to torture her for two years like the Chinese did with Jack Bauer that one time, or they can redub all the imported episodes of Heroes so that Hayden's voice sounds a bit stupid. We're fine with either of those.