The British actress’ public image took another body blow following her much-criticised affair with married boyfriend Balthazar Getty after vandals wrote the insult on the outer wall of her North London home.

So who would do such a terrible thing? Well, of course, there is the legal wife or several children of the guy she is currently bonking senseless.

Then there is her jilted ex-lover Rhys Ifans. But Hecklerspray would like to make it very clear that we don’t think it is any of these people. Pointing the finger would be just wrong.

Plus the fact that Sienna Miller is so unpopular at the moment the list of possible culprits is too long to narrow down.

Sienna Miller should have just stuck with P Diddy. They were so happy together. He’d treat her like a lady, and she’d giggle at all his fall-flat jokes. Also, he’d send his stooges to bang on the car doors of anyone taking pictures of their secret meetings.

Then again, perhaps Miller should have stuck to Sean Penn. They’d be oh-so happy too – and his wife maybe didn’t care quite as much.

‘As much as who,’ you may be wondering. As much as the wife of Balthazar Getty – the guy she got photographed canoodling with while her nipples and breasts apparently substituted as stress-balls for Getty’s super-tense fingers and palms.

You remember that, right? Of course you do. Everyone else seems to as well. That’s why the Sun says:

“An exterior wall of Sienna’s home in North London was daubed, in capitals, with the word ‘SLUT’. The black, spray-painted graffiti also included an unsettling circular symbol – which looks like an attempt to recreate the sign for Satan. The actress has attracted controversy for her relationship with married man Balthazar Getty.”

A satanic symbol written in black? Then it wasn’t Mrs. Getty – she hates devil stuff. It was Britney Spears – that’s her bag, right?

Not anymore, actually.

Still, it’ll be interesting to see if any slaughtered goats show up on Miller’s doorstep over the next few weeks. If that’s the case, we only hope the animals get slaughtered humanely.

You know, like under the supervision of a licensed veterinarian or something.

Now, if we ever found ourselves in the situation where we'd chained a male Norwegian prostitute to a wall against his will, not only would we have to suffer the ignominy of knowing that we're basically just following in Boy George's footsteps, but we'll also be acutely aware that we'd probably end up in court for it – as Boy George has found for himself, since he's just been in court learning that his formal trial will begin on February 25. It sounds bad for Boy George, but it isn't – we hear that spending Christmas day dreading the thought of being criminally prosecuted for chaining a male escort to a wall is the absolute must-have trend in Milan this season.

February 25. It's a date we all celebrate as Ric Flair's birthday or the day when Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev denounced the actions of Stalin in his speech On the Personality Cult and its Consequences, but as of next year February 25 will go down in history as the date that Boy George's trial started for the time that he may have chained up a Norwegian manwhore against his will.

It was an inevitability that Boy George would end up in court at some point in February, though, because that's how he likes to spend that particular month. In February of this year, for example, Boy George went to court to face charges of cocaine possession and was subsequently ordered to sweep up New York as a punishment; something that Boy George took like a man. A giant bald angry man throwing the world's most awkward temper tantrum, yes, but a man nonetheless.

Next February, though, we're not so sure that Boy George will get away so lightly if he's convicted of the charge he's facing at the moment. And that charge, like you need telling, is the charge of chaining Norwegian male escort Auden Carlsen to a wall in his house and then threatening him a bit on April 28 this year. Boy George was charged with hooker-chaining earlier this month, and this morning he was in Thames Magistrates' Court learning that he's going to face a full trial for it next year.

According to reports, Boy George only spoke to confirm his name and date of birth during the hearing, and then left in a silver vehicle without talking to anybody, much less stopping to chain up anyone vaguely Scandinavian-looking and then tease them until they were sad, which was either proof of Boy George's innocence or a crushing disappointment depending on who you are.

Quite what the trial will involve – we're guessing that Boy George will try the time-honoured "He bloody loved it" defence – or how long the trial will last is anybody's guess at the moment. Plus, given Boy George's previous encounters with courts, we wouldn't be surprised if he keeps trying to push the trial further and further back as the date approaches.

That remains to be seen, but we'd just like to be the first to publicly declare our interest in becoming jury members for the trial. This is for the following reasons: 1) Forming a verdict in the trial is the closest we'll ever get to chaining up a male prostitute, at least without paying some sort of subscription fee, and 2) We promise that we'll definitely find Boy George guilty regardless of the evidence. We still haven't forgiven him for ballsing up an entire episode of The A Team, you see.