Would you consider yourself a part of Team Aniston? Or maybe Team Jolie? Or maybe Team Picking Sides About People I’ll Never Meet Is Obviously Moronic?

Well, look. It doesn’t matter. There’s only one team now, and that’s Team Pitt. And, trust us, everyone’s on Team Pitt. Angelina Jolie’s on Team Pitt, Jennifer Aniston’s on Team Pitt. And so are you. Just don’t expect an invite to the orgy.

Brad Pitt has just done an interview with W magazine where he manages to defend both Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie because he cares for them both. Also, he’s got a film out.

We thought it was all over, you know. Really we did. The Changeling was released, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button was released and Marley & Me was released. Like the fools we are, we thought that meant Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston would stop their interminable pissing contest.

Honestly, just thinking back to last month gives us a headache. If Angelina Jolie wasn’t buying knives for her children or letting some of her other children bite her nipples on the front of magazines or admitting to an affair with Brad Pitt on the set of Mr & Mrs Smith, then Jennifer Anison was getting naked and having phantom pregnancies and calling Angelina Jolie uncool, or Brad Pitt was prattling on about the paparazzi or not getting ill. Covering it – and this is no exaggeration – felt like being kicked in the cheekbone by a shirehorse.

But it’s OK, because all the films have been released now, with Jennifer Aniston’s fluffy film about a silly puppy roundly beating Brad Pitt’s film about the very old baby and Angelina Jolie’s film about an annoying screaming woman. That’s it. The fight’s over and we’d do well to respect the privacy of everyone involved by… oh God, Brad Pitt hasn’t finished, has he?

No. No he hasn’t. You see, Brad Pitt thinks that both Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston were treated unfairly in the media that time they both went out and willingly raked over the most intimate aspects of their personal lives for the sake of making even more money. And he’s using an interview with W magazine to defend them both, saying of Jennifer Aniston’s ‘uncool’ comments:

“Jen is a sweetheart. I think she got dragged into that one, and then there’s a second round to all of that Angie versus Jen. It’s so created.”

And then of the reports of an on-set affair between him and Angelina Jolie during Mr & Mrs Smith:

“We were still filming after Jen and I split up. Even then it doesn’t mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn’t. I’m very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful.”

Now, we’ve been critics of Brad Pitt in the past, but we’re sure you’ll all agree that this was easily the fairest and most even-handed way that he could have possibly poured a can of petrol over a long-dead story to make sure that he gets a few more dollars on the back end of The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. His grace should be applauded.

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