The ‘annoying sounding one’ from the pop legends told of his choice to abstain in an interview with The Independent, saying his decision came about as a result of the ongoing expenses scandal.

For those not in the know: the people in charge of Britain spent a great deal of taxpayers money on personal items like houses for ducks.

HOUSES FOR DUCKS.

It’s enough to make anyone mad – and it clearly did, as voter turnout was a pathetic 30 per cent. But now at least those of us who chose to avoid it have a spokesperson for the ages. A man who is as timeless as his face. One who can unite us and help us to speak with one voice.

Speaking to the lovely lefty Indie, Bionic Commandette’s ex-husband said:

“I didn’t vote in the last election. All that expenses rubbish has made me disillusioned with British politics.

“I didn’t feel comfortable using my vote to get any of them in power. All of them seem to be up for ripping off expenses and making themselves as powerful as possible and I don’t want a part of that.”

Now – not that we’re ones to judge, of course – it could be said that this sets something of a poor example to the masses who are still influenced by Liverpool’s favourite son, Jason McAteer… sorry – Paul McCartney.

Why? Well – maybe – because of the fact that, just possibly, the idea of abstaining from voting can leave the door open for more extreme, normally marginalised parties to get their foot in. For an example, see the BNP. In these most recent elections. That just happened. That Paul McCartney didn’t vote in.

So basically, it’s Paul McCartney’s fault that the BNP have two seats in the European Parliament.

First Wings, now bringing about the new dawn of fascism in Britain? Thanks Paul. We’re not going to forgive you easily this time.

And that’s to make such a bodge of the scoring system that nobody gets eliminated. Wonderful. Thanks to a ridiculous cock-up, nobody got voted off Strictly Come Dancing on Saturday night, which means we wasted an evening that could have spend doing something more worthwhile like, say, eating a pair of shoes or committing arson.

But, despite this monumental balls-up, the Strictly Come Dancing final still takes place on Saturday, so who’ll win? Here’s the Strictly Come Dancing recap for Lisa Snowdon…

Lisa Snowdon – The Strictly Come Dancing finalists all want to win for different reasons – Rachel Stevens wants to be famous again, for instance, and Tom Chambers just wants never to go back to Holby City again – but it’s much more personal for Lisa Snowdon. You see, Lisa Snowdon just wants to be liked by people who aren’t a) her direct relatives or b) stars of the movie Leatherheads. It’s this manic quest for approval that’s caused Lisa Snowdon to approach Strictly Come Dancing like a flinty-eyed Terminator, and it seems to be working out quite well for her.

On Saturday, Lisa’s first dance was an Argentine Tango. Since it was a dance that her partner had never even tried before, the chances of it going belly-up were huge – but fortunately the pair of them did lots of research beforehand. Sadly, though, it seems like their research just consisted of watching a couple of porno movies, because the dance was just uncomfortably filthy from beginning to end. So will that performance make sure that people end up liking Lisa Snowdon? We’re going to guess not, because Lisa’s second dance was a Quickstep that got a perfect score from the Strictly Come Dancing judges. Usually that’d be a happy occasion, but not for Lisa Snowdon – she reacted to each 10 card like they were pictures of her immediate family getting machinegunned by Sri Lanken child soldiers. Lisa – that’s not how we make friends, is it? Total Strictly Come Dancing score – 75

Tomorrow: Strictly Come Dancing recap for Tom Chambers.

9 - The top 10 music videos by movie directors. Six tenths correct – Theshiznit

8 – Joaquin Phoenix is rapidly becoming our favourite ex-actor, you know – Bestweekever

7 - Kelly Osbourne gets engaged. Rest of mankind slowly emerges from its bunker – Holymoly

6 - It’s just like Jurassic Park! Only about mice and crap! - Dailymail

5 – Things being punched in slow motion are probably the best thing ever – I Am Bored

4 - All the free crap Americans got for voting yesterday. British companies – do the same. Free stuff is good – Walletpop

3 - Staring at raisins combats depression. Presumably because once you’ve worked out what you’re doing you kill yourself - Theage

2 – Steven Seagal running. Mesmerising – YouTube

1 – Remember Charlie, the injured webcam cat? You do? Well, why not buy the massive scab that just fell off his back? Seriously - eBay