Watch this. Editor Mof is in it looking like an idiot and talking like a fool (and they cut out all the bits where he was nasty about everyone on Earth,mercifully) at the Cosmo Blog Awards 2011.

Thanks to all who voted for us. We’ll stop going on about it now.

So. hecklerspay went and won an award. That’s right. Between the judging panel of Cosmopolitan UK and all you wonderfully rotten people who voted for Team ‘Spray, we went and landed Best Celeb Blog.

An award so important that the word ‘celebrity’ can be abbreviated.

And so, here’s a little diary of the night, complete with photographs of the event. And me, Editor Mof, went and made an absolute fool of himself as promised. All thanks to you shower of gits. (Seriously though, thanks and everything. Next month, you shall build a giant statue in my honour or else).

Arriving in London, it seemed pretty obvious that we weren’t going to win a damn thing. Why would we? We’re not even a serious celebrity blog. We hate celebrities. We suspect that our rivals in the field of ‘Celeb’ rather enjoy the whereabouts of Kim Kardashian or the size of Lee Ryan’s glute implant or whatever it is they all write about.

We wouldn’t know. We don’t read celebrity blogs. We can’t even read or write at all.

And so, arriving in some nightclub in Mayfair, a place that makes anyone with any semblance of self-awareness feel like crying, Team Spray arrived for a night a disappointment, other bloggers ignoring us and, most importantly, a free bar to thoroughly exploit.

The latter part, I figured, was the best way of gleaning some kind of reward for writing and editing the site. We definitely weren’t going to win an award by a magazine that promotes shoes and blow-jobs, were we?

Mercifully, former Team Sprayer Chris Laverty (nominated for his actually very good blog, Clothes On Film) was in attendance, which meant that sarcasm was represented in the face of all that… fashion. So while dressed like something from a ’70s sitcom, we proceeded to ignore the nail bar, make-up stand and the trillions of young women all running around with their SLR cameras and ozone puking amounts of hairspray.

Of course, this being a swish thing, there was incredibly tiny food to be eaten. And no, I have absolutely no idea what that is in my hand in the picture above. Did I eat it? Yes. With a Lemsip MAX STRENGTH CAPSULE and booze to fend off some dreadfully vague illness I’ve got? Yes.

And then, at some point, Cosmo made a terrible, terrible mistake and called hecklerspray out as the winners of Best Celeb Blog.

As you can see from this OFFICIAL PHOTO TAKEN BY THE COSMO PEOPLE WHILE I WAS ON-STAGE (that’s the best credit we can all hope for at the moment), I didn’t exactly do a nice pose like all the fashionable young women when they won. In fact, the variety of poses thrown invariably left me looking like a three legged giraffe being kicked down a wishing well.

At least the people in the background thought it was funny. Not sure about the embarrassed laugh that emitted from the darkness that greeted you when vainly trying to look out to the crowd from the podium. It was pitying wasn’t it? God, they all hated me.

Then there was a thing  which said Cosmopolitan all over it, which I posed for with my award. Later, I would have a similar experience with a camera crew who interviewed me with a TV camera set-up and it was obvious they weren’t prepared for a slightly drunk Northern idiot with a hacking cough slagging off all his writers, readers and such.

Here’s a closer look at the award itself. On the back, written in thick black permanent marker, someone had written “BRING BACK STU HERITAGE” which was nice.

Either way, the whole thing was incredibly awkward for the socially inept ‘sprayer, finding himself with gregarious would-be starlets, all resentful of the fact that a lumpen gimp in a bad corduroy jacket with a stain down the front had managed to win Best Celeb Blog.

Then we broke the live hashtag feed wall thingy.

And it’s partly because of you that this happened. And partly because we’re so obviously amazing. Someone, somewhere in the Cosmo office is actually going to ’round to reading the site and realise what a dreadful mistake handing us an award really is.

Sorry.

Mof (now entitled to a free pair of ladies shoes from a website as prize for winning)

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it

There’s still time to vote for Hecklerspray so we can totally win the BEST CELEB category at the Cosmo Blog Awards. Just imagine us lot, pale and wan, malnourished and drunk amongst a gaggle of glamorous fashion bloggers.

Just think of that. We’ll be drunk with nerves. Nerves and booze. So this almost certainly means we’ll be acting like idiots at the ceremony. You should vote for us just to make us suffer. It’s only fair after we’ve put you through misery with our awful, awful articles. Just click the image above and vote vote VOTE!

Somehow, we’ve been nominated for a Cosmopolitan Blog Award. That’s nice isn’t it? If we win, we absolutely promise to make a terrible account of ourselves in ill-fitting clothes. We owe you that much. We just need you to vote for us, that’s all.

So click the image or this link. Then, you’ll have to enter your email address and you’ll find us in the celebrity section. Voting for us is a vote for the needy.

10 – Wayne Coyne discusses fake blood. Again – Popsugar

9 - Anonymous philanthropist donates 200 kidneys to a hospital. In a binbag – The Onion

8 - A child shooting himself in the genitals – I Am Bored

7 - Finally! Driveshaft get the recognition they deserve – EW

6 - The logical reaction to watching this advert: Smash! Punch! Hate! Punch! Aw, Sarah Silverman is lovely. Hate! Idiot! Smash! Smug! Gah! This video is so bad it made us want to move to America for long enough to become American citizens, just so we can parade up and down outside Demi Bastard Moore‘s house taunting her because we deliberately went out of our way to not vote. Seriously, this infuriated us so much we think we’re currently crapping blood.

5 – Also, how to overcome resentment – Thinksimplenow

4 - Haha Rick Astley is so funny because he’s bad lol. LOL! LOL when we say LOL!  - BBC

3 – Hey, look, a testicle cookbook - Daily Mail

2 - The perfect ice-to-drink ratio. Thanks, science! – Wired

1 – OJ Simpson‘s hidden camera pranks show. We’re not joking – Best Week Ever

You know us, total award-whores one and all.

Not only is hecklerspray the universal meeting place for abusive gonk-eyed, all-capital Christina Aguilera fanatics, but we're also winners of Metro's best British entertainment blog award and the 45th most powerful blog in the world. We don't know if we mentioned that before. 45th.

But that's not enough, oh no. Because now we've also been nominated for Best Celebrity and Entertainment blog at this year's Glam awards. Somewhat predictably, though, we're going to need your help. If you'd like to, and of course you would, you can vote for hecklerspray here under the Celebrity and Entertainment category. Best of all, you get a brand new vote every day – so you can vote hecklerspray again and again and again.

The prize? Why it's a shiny pink camcorder. And here's the thing – if we win the award, we're going to give it away to one of you. Because it's a shiny pink camcorder, for christ's sake. Who'd want that.

Vote! Vote like you've never voted before!