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Even though she’s got a body like the underside of a giant tortoise’s varnished stomach, Jodie Marsh is very happy with her new bodybuilder look. Very happy. Very, very happy.
In fact, Jodie ‘Oh Jesus Christ, It’s Like The Cuprinol Man Came To Life!’ Marsh is saying… with a completely straight face… that she’s feeling more attractive than ever.
Yes really.
That Amanda Knox lass and her apparently non murdering ways have grabbed all the headlines this week. Which is a shame as this whole murder in Perugia fiasco has completely overshadowed the return of Jodie Marsh.
Some new photos of Jodie, the suspected inspiration for BBC 3 smash Snog, Marry, Avoid, have surfaced that show the former glam… OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!
Seriously. Click over the jump for the fright of your life.
We can now add ‘puking’ to our Justin Bieber lexicon, which is mostly comprised of words like ‘brat’, ‘foetal’, ‘pint-sized’, ‘toddler’ and ‘near-menstrual cycle’. That’s right folks! Bieber has made himself repeatedly puke during one of his own gigs!
Welcome to our world y’awful little human.
Of course, there are Beliebers out there who will argue that this bout of projectile sickery stemmed from the fact he’s working his little bendy bones way too hard or, indeed, it all underlines what a consummate professional he is, able to plough through a show, despite constant waves of nausea. But you’re wrong. He’s pukous because he’s just realised how dreadful his own music is.
It’s that time of the year again when music lovers gather in a field to celebrate the thing they love: live music.
There are all sorts of festivals to cater for all sorts of musical tastes in all four corners of the world. The main ones kick off at this time of year and hecklerspray is here to tell you all you need to know about each festival, who the essential people are to see and which act to avoid so you can queue up for the overflowing shit-filled portaloos.
As the sun sneaks out from behind one of his many clouds, the hot weather looks like it may arrive for one of the festivals that kick starts them all. Download is the chance for 75,000 people to gather together and rock out to leather clad men drenched in tattoos and piercings. Sounds like a bit ropey if you ask us.
Now that Amy Winehouse has been cleared of perverting the course of justice, it means she's able to let loose a little bit.
And unlike you, Amy Winehouse's definition of 'letting loose' doesn't involve a comfortable pair of pyjamas and a DVD box-set of Midsomer Murders. No. For Amy Winehouse to let loose she needs to gulp down however much champagne it takes for her to blast jets of fizzy vomit by the gallon around the Club Class lounge of Gatwick Airport like some sort of unstoppable industrial firehose that stinks of guts.
Because that's pretty much exactly what she's been doing.
