Articles tagged with: VMA
Make no mistake, Britney Spears is the MTV VMAs, whether she's writhing with a snake, kissing Madonna with tongues or obliterating her entire career forever. An MTV VMAs show without Britney Spears isn't an MTV VMAs show - it's just an excuse for Chris Brown to wobble around like his knickers are filled up with puffer fish. So imagine how thrilled we are to learn that Britney Spears will not only be appearing at this Sunday's MTV VMAs, but actually opening them! It's wonderful news, and the perfect chance for Britney Spears to erase the painful memory of her stumbling around and failing to mime to her own song at last year's show. Now she gets to replace that with a new memory of her having a giant panic attack onstage and ending up lying in the fetal position, rocking backwards and forwards, yanking fistfuls of hair out of her scalp and screaming abuse at a monster that only she can see. We're guessing.
What better way for Britney Spears to take a huge step towards getting everything back on track than to hook up with Russell Brand? There are many, many better ways. Surely. Hooking up with that mad-haired berk isn't going to help her claw back the piles and piles of sanity the girl seems to have lost over the last couple of years. Let's be totally honest - it's going to damage her more than she already is, and that's before she's even spoken to the man who dresses like a particularly stupid pirate. But hecklerspray didn't get in fast enough with our warnings, leaving poor old crazy Britney Spears free to appear alongside Russell Brand in some MTV promotional adverts for the upcoming Video Music Awards. It still isn't confirmed if Britters herself will be in attendance at the awards as she hasn't got permission off her dad yet, but hopefully the blow to her psyche that surely occurred when she met the TV and radio 'funny' man will have been too much, forcing her to stay at home on the night. The other option doesn't even bear thinking about, frankly.
Trouble is Kid Rock's middle name. Actually it isn't - it's probably Jeb or Enos or Clawfoot or something - but that doesn't matter because Trouble is also Kid Rock's best friend, wife, vicar and Meals On Wheels delivery operative.
Kid Rock is addicted to trouble, and it doesn't matter if it's the sort of trouble that involves physical violence or the sort of trouble that involves making dreadful redneck heavy metal that sounds like it should exclusively soundtrack cross-eyed, chipped-tooth monster truck rallies. But sometimes Kid Rock's penchant for trouble gets him into, um, trouble - like when Kid Rock decided to use the live, globally-televised MTV VMA awards this year to start a fight with Tommy Lee. However, despite everyone in the world seeing Kid Rock and Tommy Lee slapping each other like babies during the awards, police have announced that Kid Rock won't be charged for the brawl, mainly because they need all their MTV VMA manpower to try and pin a charge of Miming With Intent To Appal on Britney Spears.
