video games - HecklerSpray

5 Video Game Movies Better Than Resident Evil

October 4th, 2012 By Gavin Bard

Comic book movies have had an amazing renaissance over the last few years, made possible mostly by the sudden realization that you don’t have to butcher the source material in order to appeal to a large amount of people. Comics always had detailed plots and characterization, but before recently the second studios heard ‘comic book’ they started figuring out ways to make the movie resemble the books as little as possible.

The same cannot be said about video games.

Whereas movies like Iron Man and Nolan’s Batman series made bucketloads of money while not compromising on the quality of the comics, it proved to dollar addicted studio heads that you can make a successful series without pissing off every single fan of the property. This hasn’t happened for video games yet, in fact the exact opposite has happened.

Lana Del Rey Gets Made Into Leather – Inspiration Taken From Her Face

February 20th, 2012 By Robin Darke

The human body is a fantastic thing isn't it? We are one of the most advanced beings on the Planet, the only mammal to perfect the art of speech, and in some cases like Katie Price and the cast of The Only Way Is Essex, almost perfecting the art of speech.

But sometimes terrible things happen don't they? Genocide, murder, xenophobia, all terrible, terrible things that have been performed by human hands. The human race can excel to monumental levels, or sink to disgusting depths. And it seems that sometimes people relish in doing things just to make people annoyed or upset.

Step forward designer peddler, Mulberry. Not content with pushing Alexa Chung further into our faces by naming one of their notoriously expensive bags after her, they're at it again, with one of the more bizarre pieces of music/fashion amalgamation. Can you guess which one hit wonder, which financially backed by her rich daddy star has been immortalized in cow hide and not a stitch of forethought? None other than Lana Del Rey of course.

Lana Del Rey May Have The Allure Of A Mop, But She’s Still Got A Secret Boyfriend

February 13th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Lana Del Rey is the latest hot-ticket in town, despite having a voice like a broken vacuum cleaner and all the charm of dishcloth. She’s topped the charts with her mawkish drip-hop and a narrative that is basically a culmination of every wet-farted Tumblr dashboard you’ll ever see.

Basically, it’s all pretend dangerous-sex, disaffection, hipstamatic sex, models with tattoos and old movie footage.

The boys pretend to fancy her so they can snare young women who actually fancy her, leaving us with the adolescent equivalent of the way thirtysomethings furiously fap over Christina Hendricks. ?However, Lana Del Duller Than Robert Pattinson has got a boyfriend, so you’ll have to put it away.

Lana Del Rey Cancels Tour After Everyone Finds Out She Can’t Sing

February 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Lana Del Rey has had her whole adult life and creative outlets bankrolled by her insanely wealthy father and, at various points nearly gave it all up because she had to actually work a little to get anywhere. However, thickos on the internet came to the rescue and made her an overnight sensation!

Things were all going to (a carefully executed by a PR company) plan as she readied her new album! She was going to become a superstar! The golden goose had actually delivered!

The key cog would be a performance on Saturday Night Live! Lana would sing, everyone would swoon and rush out to buy her album, learn all the hackneyed lyrics and eagerly await the tour announcement. She opened her mouth to her largest audience yet and… oh dear… she ended up sounding like a cow in labour. The plan was ruined.

Juliette Lewis Slates Lana Del Rey In Quickest Backlash Ever

January 16th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Lana Del Rey hasn’t even got her debut LP out and yet, somehow, the backlash has already begun! We say ‘somehow’; we know exactly why it has started – she makes really awful music and she’s obviously getting very famous because she’s easy on the eye.

Naturally, that’s not a new criticism against pop-music, but who cares? If Lana Del Rey can rely on the same tired cliches of the alt.pop of yore, then we can certainly chide it for the same old boring reasons.

And oddly, we’re not the only ones who think that Del Rey has a whiff of Emperor’s New Clothes about her. The Also Makes Lousy Music actress, Juliette Lewis, has criticised Lana Del Rey’s performance on Saturday Night Live.

Sonic The Hedgehog To Reignite Your Inner Antisocial Moron

December 30th, 2011 By Robin Darke

He’s automatic! He’s systematic! He’s hydromatic! Why, he’s Sonic The Hedgehog actually and he’s coming to make you feel like an overgrown child-man once again.

Surely the slew of Sonic games over the past twenty or so years are enough for you? Together, we’ve gone from Green Hill Zone to Metal Egg Stage 1, we’ve Spinballed and even been to the Winter Olympics with that filthy Italian, surely the only thing left is Sonic and Blue Flashing Ghost from Pac-Man go to Lidl.

But apparently the creators of all those Sonic games seem to not know how not to flog a dead Knuckles and are all set to release another instalment of their new series for every gaming device going, even Android devices, Windows phones and Sega Game Gear probably.

Review: Grand Theft Auto 3 on iOS

August 5th, 2012 By Robin Darke

The Grand Theft Auto series is like a biblical dynasty, with more and more versions being released on what seems like an almost daily basis. Before long we’ll be able to chart our lives by where we are when the new GTA was released.

Like how the elderly chart theirs by when JFK or Elvis died, or One Direction fans will when Harry Styles finally succumbs to hairspray poisoning and he’s found slumped over Caroline Flack’s riddled corpse, herself only recently imploded under her own sense of self worth.

Well before that happy occasion arrives, you can all just shut up and read our brilliant and totally 100% correct in every which way review of Grand Theft Auto 3 for iOS and even some Android phones.

Lana Del Ray’s Born To Die Merges Drip-Hop With Impressively Flat, Emotionless Singing! Hurray!

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Lana Del Rey is the latest hot young thing that has a myriad of jaded twentysomethings tying their genitals in knots! She writes her own songs AND is kinda good looking! What a treat! What an unusual treat!

Yep, pop music totally doesn’t have a habit of giving attractive people record deals, despite the negligible talent and persistent dullditude.

But that won’t stop the pouting freight train that is Lana Del Rey! She’s going to become gigantically famous whether she actually gets around to writing a song or not! It’s almost admirable really. The perfect anti-pop star. The Lady GaGa for the supplement reader. AND SHE HAS A NEW VIDEO OUT AND WE’VE WORKED OUT WHAT IT IS ALREADY! Watch it over the jump and we promise to irritate you.

Review: Dizzy, Prince Of The Yolkfolk (Or, How The Royal Wedding Should’ve Gone Down)

August 5th, 2012 By Robin Darke

What have you done today? Bet you’ve dragged yourself through your dreary life, bumping into other insignificant doldrumites, who clamour for their carcinogenic hit of Heat magazine to find out what that family of soulless prostitutes we call Kardashians are up to.

Frankly, between us, you sicken us. Maybe you should try a little harder and people will stop thinking you have an alcohol problem and smiling inanely at you when you struggle to open the bottle of Pepsi Max you have with your Boots Meal Deal.

Whereas us, we’ve jumped from cloud to cloud to return an angelic harp to a sad Saint Peter, made a deal with Death himself to let us pass, and ensure that once Britney Spears does pass, she doesn't return in a zombie form and a red pleather catsuit and managed to lose our girlfriend in a mythical land. So not a bad day?s work really. Bet all the exercise that you’ve had is strumming yourself in the Tesco car park while thinking about how sexy him from Outnumbered is going to be soon. You sicken us.

Dizzy Coming To iOS And Android On December 9th: Not What We Were Hoping For, Selfishly

November 23rd, 2011 By Robin Darke

With the teasing of a new Dizzy hitting the old interwebs as late as yesterday, people were kind of surprised that definite information would be released so soon. It kind of made the whole teasing process pointless, like most attempts at foreplay.

But the news has ?finally? been released and the new Dizzy game is going to be… *Mark Ronson style trumpet blare*

A rehash of 1991?s Dizzy: Prince Of The Yolkfolk. Can we have some grumbles with that underwhelming announcement please?