Posts tagged as:

Victoria Beckham

Paula Abdul: The Crashingly Inescapable American Idol Comeback

by Stuart Heritage

Paula Abdul’s bad decisions have included singing with a cartoon cat, marrying Emilio Estevez and speaking in public.

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Megan Fox Replacing Victoria Beckham as Armani’s New T&A

by Amy Grindhouse

Will Megan Fox’s T&A replace that of Victoria Beckham as the new “face” of Armani? Megan Fox’s remaining fans who didn’t turn their backs (or genitals) on her during Megan Fox Media Blackout Day, will be chomping at the bit over this news. In only a few months time, we could be seeing a wooden, [...]

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American Idol: Victoria Beckham Is The New Paula Abdul, Upsettingly

by Stuart Heritage

Replacing Paula Abdul on American Idol will be tricky – producers need to find someone vivacious, warm and emotional.

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Hecklerspray at E3 – Snubbed by the Beckhams

by David Schwartz

Victoria Beckham was the last person I expected at a video games conference. Before yesterday, I would have thought the chances of it happening were on a par with Susan Boyle doing kids’ TV and Jordan saying anything out loud that doesn’t immediately make me want to hurl myself under a train. But in she [...]

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Victoria Beckham Unveils Bras For Malnourished, Dead-Eyed C-3POs

by Stuart Heritage

Ladies! Do you wish your boobs could look more like a prolapsed nutsack? You don’t? That’s disappointing.

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Victoria Beckham Quits Singing, Rejoice Now!

by Matthew Laidlow

Apart from hecklerspray’s snazzy new makeover which will no doubt implode into a catastrophic mess of bile and tears, there hasn’t been much to look forward to lately.

Think about it, everyone has either read the spoilers online for Lost or had a moronic friend tell them what’s happened.

The only things worth happening are events we have to all pray for. Such as Bono losing his voice and Jordan being abducted by aliens. Something we hadn’t banked on happening was former Spice Girl and professional twiglet Victoria Beckham quitting music. And she says it’s forever!

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Victoria Beckham And Eva Longoria Have Skinny-Off At Child’s Party

by Paul Gibson

You’re a fan of ladies with legs that are literally as thin as half a sheet of tracing paper? Why, step this way, we have two of ‘em.

Cruz Beckham. Crazy name, crazy guy. Actually, there’s absolutely no proof of that. He is only four, after all. You didn’t know? Oh, yeah, had his birthday party the other day. It was at the Xtreme Martial Arts World Headquarters in Hollywood. We know, totally boring place for a kids’ party, right?

Guess they couldn’t afford the Xtreme Martial Arts Branch Office in Swindon. That’s where it’s really at.

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The Beckhams Vs The Thai Monks Of Koh Samui – It’s On!

by Matthew Laidlow

The Beckhams each have their own agendas.

David likes to try stringing simple sentences together so that nobody confuses with a messed-up character from The Wizard Of Oz. Victoria, meanwhile, hones in on any nearby cameras so that the paparazzi can take another photo of her pulling a face like of a cow that’s just had a hand shoved up its arse.

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David Beckham’s Servants Allegedly ‘Nick All Of David Beckham’s Stuff’

by Stuart Heritage

Just because David Beckham earns about £400 billion every second, it doesn’t mean you can go around pinching his things.

That’s the sorry lesson learnt by Eric and June Emmett, two of the human beings that David and Victoria Beckham employ as house slaves. According to reports, the Emmetts have been taken into custody for allegedly half-inching property belonging to the Beckhams and selling it on eBay.

It just goes to show that when you’re as famous as the Beckhams are, you can’t trust anyone – not even your own staff. It’s not so much the fact that the Emmetts allegedly stole football shirts and designer dresses that upset the Beckhams but, now that the household copy of The Little Red Hen Goes To Town has been swiped, David’s reading ability is bound to be set back weeks, if not months.

Just because David Beckham earns about £400 billion every second, it doesn't mean you can go around pinching his things. That's the sorry lesson learnt by Eric and June Emmett, two of the human beings that David and Victoria Beckham employ as house slaves. According to reports, the Emmetts have been taken into custody for allegedly half-inching property belonging to the Beckhams and selling it on eBay. It just goes to show that when you're as famous as the Beckhams are, you can't trust anyone - not even your own staff. It's not so much the fact that the Emmetts allegedly stole football shirts and designer dresses that upset the Beckhams but, now that the household copy of The Little Red Hen Goes To Town has been swiped, David's reading ability is bound to be set back weeks, if not months.
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Victoria Beckham Gets Face Slathered In Poo

by Shawn Lindseth

Beauty, real beauty, isn’t skin deep. Wait – no wait – beauty is skin deep. It’s all those internal organs that aren’t. Also the veins are jammed way down deep in there. And you know what? All that inside stuff can be as ugly as it needs to be, because those things usually aren’t what [...]

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