Ladies! Do you wish your boobs could look more like a prolapsed nutsack? You don’t? That’s disappointing.

Because we’re pretty sure that was what Victoria Beckham was shooting for in her new advert for Emporio Armani underwear. OK – do any of you ladies want to turn your boyfriends on by giving them the chilling impression that your skin could peel off leaving behind a metallic, hydraulically-operated endoskeleton? Still no? Victoria Beckham isn’t doing great here, is she?

What about a pencil drawing of a toddler as sketched by an uncomfortably horny teenager? No? Oh well. Sorry Victoria Beckham. We tried.