People used to watch Miss Universe for one reason – because they were gruesome, sweaty-balled perverts.
But that’s no longer the case. The internet’s now the natural home of gruesome, sweaty-balled perverts – and yet beauty pageants like Miss Universe are still popular. Why? It’s simple – because people like to see stupid young women in bikinis fall over and blather incoherently and offend entire swathes of the population.
Yesterday’s Miss Universe was won by Stefania Fernandez from Venezuela, who didn’t fall over, fail to speak her own language with any conviction or declare that homosexuals were immoral. We want our money back.
