Articles tagged with: Vegetarian
Jesus, we know when we’re being outdone. Most of the time, it’s when an unborn Japanese child severely beats us on FIFA. And we don’t mean by using the hand of God in extra time. And then there's Morrissey. Somehow, Morrissey is classed as a genius despite still singing songs that an old band of his wrote years ago and releasing solo albums that are properly gash. Recently, Morrissey has had a bit of problems on the gig scene. He passed out in Swindon and then got twatted in the face with a cup in Liverpool. Surely it’s full steam ahead from here, right? Wrong! Continuing his tour to Hamburg, Morrissey got narked off with a fan who dared boo his miserable rant on meat-eaters. And what happened? Find out after the jump!
Hooray! It’s that time of year again where bands of all genres play to thousands of music lovers around the world. And, thanks to its eclectic line-up and decent weather, Coachella is becoming one of the biggest. Hosted in a Californian desert, people flock from all over America to attend. One of this year’s performers was Morrissey - a man so removed of happiness that a trip to a furniture shop, a stint watching paint dry and a visit to a cemetery bring more joy than an hour of his company. The much-publicised vegetarian got slightly pissy during his Friday slot as his nostrils sniffed the odour of burgers and other meaty delights. Of course he didn’t keep his opinions to himself.
The reason hecklerspray can never enjoy a tofu-heavy diet is because generally when we eat, blood spurting out of whatever we just bit into is our favorite part. You can flavour the vegetarian delight with whatever you want, but until it spurts blood we shall remain largely uninterested! Did you hear that, PETA? We don't want your stupid tofu! We don't want it if it's turkey flavored, or if its beef flavored, or if its flavored to taste exactly like George Clooney's sweaty, used gym towel! The latter, apparently, is genuinely on PETA's drawing board, even as we speak.
Having seen off the threat of Islamic terrorism with his recent Israel concert, Paul McCartney is now going after the real menace - the Fillet-O-Fish. Paul McCartney has chosen to summon up all the energy in his wrinkly little body to call on his fans to boycott McDonald's. Not because of the deforestation caused by the fast food industry's mass farming practises, though, or McDonald's aggressive child-centric marketing, or even the potential health risks inherent in a predominantly fast food diet. No, Paul McCartney wants everyone to boycott McDonald's because someone put a photo of Paul McCartney up in a Liverpool branch without asking him first. Come back next week, when Paul McCartney tries to ban abortion because he heard that someone who aborted her pregnancy once hummed three notes from Love Me Do for one and a half seconds in a shower on her own in 1975.
Paul McCartney, the former Beatle who looks most like your nan, usually only likes to fight people with fewer legs than him. But now the gloves have come off, because Paul McCartney has just squared up to testicle-faced TV chef Gordon Ramsay in a magazine over a comment the chef made about wanting to electrocute some vegetarians. It's literally the most dramatic fight between two funny-looking millionaires about vegetables that Sainsbury's Magazine has ever seen. But who to side for? On one hand Paul McCartney was in the most famous band of all time and wrote Yesterday and Hey Jude, and on the other Gordon Ramsay can cook dinner quite well. Oh, this is a right bloody dilemma.
Now that his divorce from Heather Mills is almost complete, Paul McCartney gets to be just another boring old cakey-faced pensioner who we can forget about again.
But wait! Paul McCartney isn't going down without a fight. Although his personal life has stopped being exciting and his best professional work is light years behind him, Paul McCartney still has one constant to endlessly bang on about.
His vegetarianism. Which is why it's no surprise that Paul McCartney has just done a PETA advert explaining why he doesn't eat meat. At least it's not one of those adverts where he poses naked to protest animal cruelty, though - one glimpse of Paul McCartney's saggy buttocks and we'd have torn through a zoo popping everything in the face with the back of a shovel just to quell the nausea.
As Heather Mills is eager to acknowledge, if you take away the millionaire-marrying, the self-promoting, the instructional German pornography and the saying 'paedophile' in a funny voice, all Heather Mills has done for 20 years is charity.
And that's not going to stop now, even though all those bulge-eyed, finger-swiping TV outbursts from a couple of weeks back have left Heather Mills with about as much credibility as a charity spokesperson as, say, Jade Goody or Krang from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Anyway, Heather Mills' latest bit of charity work is a set of billboards for militant vegetarian organisation Viva, which is claiming that climate change is such a problem because you eat sausages now and again. Oh, and another billboard where Heather Mills blames the meat industry for her leg amputation. We think - we haven't quite worked that one out yet.
