Vatican - HecklerSpray

Badvertising: A Situation Situated Between Bristol Palin And The Situation

August 7th, 2012 By Kris Silver

Poor old Bristol Palin, she's got a shotgun wielding nutcase of a mother, had a child with a man who has neck so red that it can't be seen by the naked eye and, unbelievably, she failed to win some shoddy yank spin-off of Strictly Come Dancing.

In what can only be seen as an attempt to desperately claw back some semblance of dignity, dear sweet Brizzle has appeared in a Public Service Announcement for safe sex, alongside none other than Mike, ?The Situation,? Sorrentino.

Yes, you did read that correctly, Bristol Palin is promoting safe sex with a man who is named after his own abdomen.

Hooray! John Lennon And Jesus Are Best Friends Again!

March 25th, 2009 By Matthew Laidlow

If you’ve ever liked a popular band such as B*Witched, S Club Juniors or Shed 7 then you’ll have realised that the press quickly stops running stories on them when they split up.

The same rule of thumb however doesn’t apply if you happened to enjoy the titillating musical delights of The Beatles, though.

Liverpool’s finest export have been delighting music lovers for generations. Their songs about peace, love and the results of multiple drug binges helped them to keep a presence in the public eye. During their career, The Beatles didn’t do much to piss anyone off, apart from the time John Lennon claimed that his band were “more popular than Jesus” in 1966. For 42 years, The Vatican has never forgiven the Beatle for what he said. But in a swift change of heart, they’ve decided to kiss and make up. Not literally of course, kissing the corpse of a dead man would be sick and wrong.

Vatican To Make Comprehensive List Of Films They Allow On Location

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

The Catholic Church says there’s not a chance in the deepest depths of heck that the Da Vinci Code or anything even remotely related to the Da Vinci Code will ever be filmed in it again.

And just so Hollywood can stop embarrassing itself by getting constant refusals from them, they’re inventing a list of guidelines as to what types of films would be considered good film-on-site Vatican-worthy cinema.

It begs to question exactly what films ol’ V-town would find acceptable to film in their churches. Clearly Angels and Demons is out, but would they have allowed Darth Vader to cut off Luke‘s hand in the chapel? Would Big Trouble have been permitted in their Little China? Would our mother and step-dad be able to make love in any of the 16 feature length films we’re currently making about how they first met, for each of which the manuscript is over 1000 pages long?

These are the questions that spring readily to mind.

Vatican Not Such A Fan of The Golden Compass

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

You don't want to get on the wrong side of the Vatican – not only does it have the power to send you to hell, but it can also deliver quite a nasty movie review, as The Golden Compass is discovering.

The Vatican newspaper l'Osservatore Romano has launched a scathing attack aimed at The Golden Compass, and what it calls the movie's "cold and hopeless world." Quite what the Vatican's problem is with The Golden Compass, a movie about shifty-eyed bishops trying to kill children that may as well be called All Catholics Smell Of Bumholes, we don't know. But when you go and see The Golden Compass, just you remember that it isn't really the Pope's cup of tea. He much prefers Piss Crazy Lesbian Sluts 2, you see, and says it's a high watermark of the piss crazy lesbian slut genre. Or something. Possibly.