Vampires - HecklerSpray

Sheryl Lee Nude – Time to See Laura Palmer Naked! (37 PICS)

Sheryl Lee is mostly known for playing the most unfortunate Miss Palmer on David Lynch’s legendary drama series Twin Peaks.

Though the show lasted only 18 episodes, it’s debut episode’s enduring opening shot of the corpse of Laura Palmer wrapped in plastic and lying on a Pacific Northwest beach is one that is seared in viewer’s minds permanently.

“Who killed Laura Palmer”? If you watched the tube at all in the early 1990’s, you are more than likely familiar with this cryptically iconic question.

In terms of Twin Peaks hotness, we’ll probably rank Sheryl behind Sherilyn Fenn, Lara Flynn Boyle and Madchen Amick. We’re sure you would agree.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn 2 Trailer Released (We’re The Same Boring Temperature Now)

March 26th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

OH MY OMG! We can barely contain our gawping tedium at the news that the first footage from the final instalment of the Twilight saga has debuted online! It has Robert Pattinson in saying the least romantic thing in the world in it!

However, this film is all about?Bella who is played by Kristen Stewart.

In this stupid installment, Bella becomes a vampire, which of course, means she gets the chance to do something that all actors aspire to do – stare menacingly at a deer. Click over to watch the trailer.

Robert Pattinson Shoots His Own Hand And Has Sex Like A Barnyard Animal

March 22nd, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Robert Pattinson? Shooting his own hand off? Surely any right-minded bullet would be too bored in his presence to actually get the gumption to pass through his doughy flesh? Alas, this is the movies where all manner of unlikely things happen!

That’s right – in new flick Cosmopolis, R-Pattz?shoots a Jesus hole in his hand, stabs someone in the eye socket and has lots of sex.

Great news if you’re able to stay awake while he’s on-screen that is.

Piano Dies Of Boredom In Robert Pattinson’s Presence

March 21st, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Kristen Stewart has reportedly bought Robert Pattinson a ?50,000 piano as a surprise. Sadly, the surprise didn’t even vaguely register on Rob’s impressively motionless, grey face. Rumour has it he’s so dull, that he hasn’t blinked in over a decade.

OK! magazine report that Kristen (Robert’s on-screen wife in Twilight) marked the couple’s three-year anniversary by splashing her cash on a top-notch piano.

Alas, music itself is said to have been found on a ledge, threatening to kill itself because the tedium of Pattinson’s company was too much to bear.

Robert Pattinson And Christina Ricci ‘Naked Most Of The Time’

February 20th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

What do you do when you have absolutely no faith in your own abilities or the films you star in? Why, you throw as much nudity at it as humanly possible! And that’s exactly what’s happening with Christina Ricci and Robert Pattinson in their new film, Bel Ami.

This, of course, is a two-pronged attack – Ricci will appeal to thirtysomethings who are under the belief that they fancy someone ‘a bit different’ while Pattinson is a banker for those wanting to milk the piggybanks of tweens who are just discovering their own genitals.

Basically, this film may fail in the box office, but it’ll flood Tumblr with a million well-lit naked .gifs. That’s how we measure success now, right?

Robert Pattinson States The Insultingly Obvious For Everyone!

February 8th, 2012 By Randy Figgins

He’s got creepy beady eyes and the skin tone of a bad waxwork model.? And the expressive acting of a bad wax work model.? And always seems to be standing awkwardly… like a bad wax work model.

Robert Pattinson, human or wax work, is mind bogglingly famous, the sort of famous that makes teenage girls soil themselves in excited glee at the sound of his name.? Which is odd for someone so incredibly dull.

Showing himself to be surprisingly aware of the world outside of his corner Madame Tussauds Pattinson has made the least shocking revelation ever to make headlines.? The statement also runs the risk of bursting his own fame bubble as his fans realise just how unremarkable he his.? Unremarkable and likely to melt in hot conditions.

Creased Or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You The Way It Is.

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

Suited or Booted?

Folded

R.I.P. Steve Jobs – There’s nothing wrong with being snarky but let’s remember this sort of thing.
US Network Drama – Or rather, why it’s rubbish.
Movie Posters – If they told the truth, this is probably what they’d say.
When Bad Films Happen To Good Actors – There’s not a lot of arguing with Shortlist’s exhaustive list.
Kismot Killer Curry – A curry that hospitalises the people who eat it? Where do we sign up?

Creased

Celebrity Reporters Are Like Political Correspondents – Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh… wait a minute.

Badvertising: The Paddy Power Vampire – “Who Are You & What Are You Doing Here?”

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

There’s no video content for this week’s Badvertising, primarily because caretaker of the advertising corner, Michael Park, has become the victim of legal action after a woman’s head exploded after seeing his smug, self-involved face on her computer screen more than the appointed twice in a month. This means that it’s back to plain ol’ words!

When you’re making an advert, it’s important to establish a relationship for the sake of the viewer. Now, what do we mean by that? There are myriad different types of relationships in advertising from the authoritarian ‘expert’ who spends a worrying amount of time bellowing out of the television, to the ‘friends’ who love nothing more than snuggling up on a couch eating Maltesers and taking intravenous injections of air freshener.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Trailer Is Here! And It’s Really Rather Boring!

September 14th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are not merely boring people… they’re also pretty lousy actors too! And the new Twilight: Breaking Dawn trailer is here to showcase just that!

Like a teenage drama group trying to perform some heaving bosomed period drama with all the subtlety of a condom jammed up your nostril, there’s a lot of brooding going down.

Shall we gawp at it?

Benjamin Walker To Play Vampire Killing Abraham Lincoln In Potentially Greatest Movie Ever Made

January 28th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Abraham Lincoln is one of America’s favourite presidents. He did everything right – he had a cool beard, helped to abolish slavery and died before his time before he could cock his legacy up. Sadly, he was a Republican which puts him in line with Sarah Palin and Arnie.

Anyway, because he looks cool, Abe Lincoln is the perfect man to star in a film. With Abe being so revered, it’ll be a tough gig for whoever takes him on, right?

Well, a relative newcomer called Benjamin Walker has been handed the title role in a film which sees Abraham doing what he does best – killing vampires. What? You heard. He’ll be the star of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and it could well be the greatest thing ever shown on the silver screen.