Articles tagged with: vampire
Do you think that the world can never have enough rubbish-looking teenage vampire films featuring hamfisted pro-abstinence agendas? You do? Well then, we've got two very exciting pieces of news for you! 1) Twilight, probably your favourite rubbish-looking teenage vampire film featuring a hamfisted pro-abstinence agenda, has been so hugely successful in its opening week that a sequel has already been greenlit, and 2) gosh, you're an infuriating bellsack. Will Twilight 2 be a success? Hardly - the screaming teenage girls who love Twilight will soon realise that handsome, dangerous boys willing to wait for sex don't actually exist. Brokenhearted, they'll hurl their virginity at the first boy to notice them, quickly get pregnant and wind up with five babies from five different fathers and zero self-esteem by the time Twilight 2 is released in 2010. Or at least that's what we hope, anyway.
Did you write off High School Musical as tiresomely juvenile even though you knew you'd actually wet yourself if the exact same sentiments were conveyed in a slightly emo way? Then you'll be thrilled to hear that that Twilight is the weekend box office number one. While Twilight's US weekend box office success has its obvious downsides - like the fact that people have decided that Paramore aren't a cock-awful gaggle of useless bad emo twits any more - it also has its upsides. For instance, Twilight being number one at the weekend box office means that if you're British, have quite a nice haircut and wouldn't be able to say or do anything even remotely charismatic even at knifepoint, you're now guaranteed to get a girlfriend. True, she'll be 14 years old and literally as annoying as a human being can get, but beggars can't be choosers.
There really is something about a girl with a pasty complexion, long fangs and an unhealthy desire to suck your blood dry. OK, so put like that, it sounds a bit odd. But there's little doubt that vampires can be very sexy. Admittedly, Dracula never did anything for us. But whether it's Kate Beckinsale in a tight leather bodysuit or Salma Hayek dancing with a snake, these damsels of the dark are worth getting into a flap about...
Katie Price, who’s that? The short answer is the fake-tanned slapper who’s famous for getting her tits out.
However, there is another solution to the question. You see, Katie Price has two names. We’d like to point out that she’s not schizophrenic and doesn’t pick between Jordan and Kate Price depending on if its warm enough to strap on a bikini.
In the early days (aka - the nineties) when she had the body for it, Jordon would get her boobies out for men’s magazines across the land. But they weren’t just any set of knockers. They were mega melons! As big as your head and the weight of seven small puppies.
Then Jordan grew up. Married a dire popstar and wanted people to call her by her real name to be taken more seriously. This approach has landed her a film role. And no, it’s not porn related!
