Here in the hecklerspray bedsit, we’re often told off for using inappropriate words to describe the girls’ genitalia. In fact, there was a time that Matthew Laidlow had to spend three weeks hooked up to a catheter after asking Joanna Bolouri if he could cop a feel of her “pouch”. After that, Editor Mof came up with some severe guidelines on sexual harassment and the bedsit hasn’t been the same since.
The real question is, how do you refer to your genitals? It’s not because we have any real interest in knowing, you understand. We just want to focus on what’s important in this column. We want to focus on the real issues of the day and do that we need to know what you ladies call your vagina.
Okay, we’ll admit it. We don’t know, nor do we want to know.
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Lady GaGa is a kookpot isn’t she? Outlandish outfits, weird videos and at her recent shows, a gigantic deep sea creature that emerges from the back of the stage and a car that has a piano for an engine. With all that, you can only imagine how debauched her sex life is, right?
It appears not as Ms. GaGa has stated that she really doesn’t knock uglies with anyone. Is it because she’s busy? Partly. Is it because she keeps her creative sparks up her lady front garden? Apparently so.
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Michelle Rodriguez: gay or straight? That’s probably the question that keeps you awake most at night, admit it.
Ah, who are we kidding? There isn’t a soul on the face of the planet who really gives very much of a sniff about Michelle Rodriguez’s sexuality at all. Apart from Michelle Rodriguez, that is. She just refuses to ever bloody shut up about it. And, for your information, Michelle Rodriguez is keeping it a secret. She says “If I wanna fuck a girl, a boy, a dog, that’s my business.”
Oh my god. Michelle Rodriguez totally fucks dogs.
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