This edition of the weekend box office was supposed to be all about Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the Judd Apatow comedy that stars Russell Brand and some bloke’s todger.
But, oddly enough, Forgetting Sarah Marshall isn’t number one at the US weekend box office this week. That plaudit goes to The Forbidden Kingdom, a movie starring Jackie Chan, Jet Li and the second-weediest kid from the last series of 24.
What does The Forbidden Kingdom‘s weekend box office triumph over Forgetting Sarah Marshall tell us about the state of modern cinema? Is it that audiences still aren’t accustomed to seeing penises in their movies? Is it that the thrill of seeing cinema’s greatest living kung-fu artists in the same movie overpowers everything else? No. It’s that people would rather watch two old men kicking each other than Russell Brand in anything.
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Ah, Oscar night. The night when Hollywood celebrates the very best in modern moviemaking, while everyone else goes out and watches an example of fairly dire moviemaking.
Which is to say that Vantage Point is the top movie at the US weekend box office this week.
Not that Vantage Point had much competition, of course – on Oscar weekend most people are far too busy to go and see a movie, preferring to either speculate on the results of the Oscars or have lengthy discussions about the various Oscar gowns on show or hide in their garden, literally bury their head in a compost heap and scream "If I hear one more thing about sodding No Country For Old Men, I'll kill myself! I will, I'll actually kill myself!"
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Now that it's into its second week on top of the US weekend box office, pundits are starting to call Enchanted the best Disney movie for years – and that's fighting talk for Brother Bear fanatics everywhere. Both of them.
But Enchanted's second week on top of the US weekend box office probably hasn't got that much to with how brilliant it is, rather it's an indication of how crap all the new movies that came out on Friday are. For example, would you rather watch Enchanted or a rubbish-looking film about Jessica Alba having it off with some bloke in a bath? Why, Enchanted of cour… what? Wait. People are dumb.
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This edition of the weekend box office was supposed to be all about Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the Judd Apatow comedy that stars Russell Brand and some bloke’s todger.
