God Tries to Destroy Big Brother America The most exciting event in Big Brother history has just happened. Unfortunately, the incident happened in America and not in the UK where so far the most exciting thing to do for viewers is count how many times Luke mentions the £100k cheque. We’re always told that things don’t go truly mental until the series kicks off, gets into its stride and sees housemates go quite mental. Sadly the UK version is halfway through and still as exciting as pouring vinegar over your own open wounds. Consequently we’re switching to America for some entertainment. Quite literally we’re thanking God for turning the equally boring show into something worth watching. Fear not, we’ve got a video of it as well, after the jump.

Wall-E Adorably Crushes Weekend Box Office Into A Cube

It's shaping up to be quite a controversial weekend box office summer, with films starring dead people, films that actors have refused to promote and - worst - Sex And The City.

But no film this summer is likely to be as controversial as Wall-E, the latest Pixar movie to top the weekend box office. It's hard to think of a more uncommercial-sounding movie than a film about a silent robot compacting rubbish on a deserted planet, but that's what Wall-E is.

And Wall-E isn't just a commercial success, either. As well as being number one in the US weekend box office, the movie has also been called 'perfect' by more than one reviewer. Yeah? So what - there's a bit in The Love Guru where it sounds like Mike Myers is calling someone 'cuntface' when he's not and it's funny, so shove that up your critically adored poop-chute, Wall-E.

Piers Morgan Wins Celebrity Apprentice Despite Being Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan has won the final of NBC's The Celebrity Apprentice.

Or, to put it another way, Piers Morgan went to America looking for success, and America (and by America we mean Donald Trump) looked back at Piers Morgan and replied: "Sure, why not? You're a man with all the qualities required to succeed here. Your wish is our command".

What is wrong with America? It all started off so positively some 40,000 years ago when a bunch of wandering nomads from Asia decided to set up camp. They had a quaint little society going on, and for thousands of years everything was wonderful, but then in 1492 some Italian named Chris landed on the shore and it all turned to shit.

US General Election Betting Odds: Republicans There might already be a deluge of print and television analysis on who'll win this year's US general election. But, we ask you, is there any election analysis from British websites that usually only spend their time writing puerile jokes about celebrity crap that nobody could ever possibly give a stuff about? No, no there isn't. But now that hecklerspray is doing US general election betting odds, there is. And we can all sleep soundly at night because us that. Unless we've got sleep apnea or any other made-up illnesses. Yesterday we looked at the Democrats, so today it's only fair that we look at the general election betting odds for the Republicans, with help from Paddy Power...

Semi-Pro Scrapes Weekend Box Office Win

By now you all probably know about new Will Ferrell movie Semi-Pro thanks to all the talk show appearances, semi-ironic product advertising and constant TV trailers.

Thing is, though, it seems you know so much about Semi-Pro from all of this that none of you bothered to actually go and see the thing.

Although Semi-Pro is the US weekend box office number one, it only managed to scrape together a meagre $15,200,000 - roughly a tenth that Spider-Man 3 made in the same amount of time. Does Semi-Pro's relative failure mean that the public is getting sick of Will Ferrell sports comedies? Well, yes. Plainly it does. Can't you people read?

Weekend Box Office: People Inexplicably Watch Fool’s Gold

In the future, when people ask you what the worst weekend box office in living memory was, remember this date.

Because, sweet baby Moses, is this week's weekend box office ever appalling. Thanks to the weekend box office one-two of Fool's Gold and Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, the stars of the two most popular films in America right now - and thus the biggest stars in America - are Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey and Martin Lawrence.

If you need us we'll be weeping despondently in our lead-lined bunker.

US Election Betting Odds: Winning Party You there! Fancy a 'flutter', do you? Let's face it - even if you ascribe to Bill Hicks' philosophy that American politics is basically choosing which puppet can give the best impression of your beliefs (something Britain seems to have emulated too), then you might as well make a bit of cash out of this whole upcoming election shebang. So we're all doomed to Armageddon no matter who gets into office? Who cares? You've got a tenner that's burning a hole in yer pocket, and you'll be damned if you're not going to do something election-based with it, right here, right now. Let's kick things off with the big boy, then: the betting odds for which party is going to win the 2008 US Presidential Election, as mapped out by those lovely people over at Paddy Power.

Cloverfield Punches Head Off Weekend Box Office

Cloverfield - or That Shaky Camera Film About Godzilla Punching The Heads Off Statues as it's known round here - is top of the weekend box office.

But how could it possibly not be? Ever since the Cloverfield teasers flickered into life six months ago, the movie was always going to end up topping the US weekend box office. How good is Cloverfield exactly? According to weekend box office grosses, it's 82 times better than Woody Allen's new film.

But then again we recently did a shit that was 83 times better than Woody Allen's new film, so that isn't exactly high praise.