CGI gets a bad rap around these parts of the interweb.

If it doesn’t involve giant blue cats dry humping each other in the middle of a glowing forest, then it’s some amphibian floppy eared twat running around ruining your favourite sci-fi saga.

Many forget that CGI animation is also responsible for some of the best movies to have graced the screen, managing to reduce grown men to blubbering wrecks at the site of a robot falling in love with a flying iPad.

So we’ve cobbled together our Top 10 CGI Films, all in aid to celebrate the release of The Battle For Terra on DVD from July 5. Read our list after the jump…

Honorable Mention: Battle For Terra (2010)

When the poor bobble-headed inhabitants of Terra (Terrians) have their peaceful existence rudely interrupted by a general with a rather enormous stick up his arse, they find themselves having to battle for their planet.

It may look like a cheap Avatar but it actually holds a decent amount of action and a voice cast that includes Chris Evans (not the ginger one), Brian Cox (not the scientist one) and Justin Long (…).

10. Beowulf (2007)

Ever wondered what Ray Winstone would look like with a six-pack and a mean predilection for fighting a ‘Mohnnstarr’? Us neither. Ever wondered what a naked Angelina Jolie would look like with no nipples and a cat’s tail? Us too! A great action film from Back to the Future director Robert Zemeckis, taking the old Anglo-Saxon epic and making it cool for the yuff of today, innit.

9. Ratatouille (2007)

Breaking every health and safety rule known to man, this tale of an aspiring rat chef and filling it with a sewer’s worth of humour and spectacle. It’s also serviceable to Pixar that they managed to make those food-shaped polygons that Remy the Rat creates so fiendishly appetising. It’s amazing that the film ever saw the light of day at all, given that the original director left the project far into production. It would’ve taken longer for replacement director, Brad Bird, to make beans on toast than the amount of time he had left to rewrite and direct this sublime slice of cinema.

8. Monsters Inc. (2001)

If you ever thought the scariest monster that John Goodman encountered was Roseanne Barr on a weekly basis, then… well, you’d be right. But as Sully, the blue-furred monster in Monsters Inc., a child is just about the scariest thing he ever encountered. Now if that isn’t a metaphor for growing-up and becoming a parent then we don’t know what one is. Luckily, it’s also colourful enough to keep everyone entertained throughout, and that climatic door chase is just inspired.

7. Ice Age (2002)

Ice Age is quite a crude CGI ‘toon, not in tone but just in style. Yet, this Three Men and a Baby rip-off was just what those kiddies wanted back in 2002 and has fast become one of those franchises that seems to print money. Manny, Sid and Diego have become quite a fierce threesome, managing to survive the Ice Age, the melting ice caps and 3D. This franchise is far from extinct.

6. Finding Nemo (2003)

Ellen DeGeneres has managed to annoy generations of television viewers, so it was new territory when she set her sights on cinema and your unknowing offspring. Yet, somehow, the fishy fish Dory was just about one of the funniest CGI creations to ever hit the screen. It was also the most visually gorgeous animated efforts ever. If ocean creatures were really that bright and colorful then we’d all be down there. Instead it’s full of discarded crisp packets and unwanted cats.

5. Shrek 1 & 2 (2001)

When we were first told that Wayne Rooney was going to play the lead in a new hit film from Dreamworks then we couldn’t believe. Then followed the announcement that Sarah Jessica Parker would be playing his comedy sidekick and we found ourselves assuming the worst. Somehow Shrek became an international hit, spawning three sequels and making Parker and Rooney household names again. Parker has since had a baby with Sporty Spice and Rooney went on to ruin the hopes and dreams of everyone in the history of the world, ever.

4. Wall-E (2008)

If Apple made romantic comedies… then it probably wouldn’t look like this. That’s because Wall-E has a point, telling a story of isolation and finding love in the most unexpected places. It also has a message about the environment or some bullshit like that (boooo!). Who couldn’t help but get all misty-eyed with Johnny 5-wannabe Wall-E gets a battering before the end?  It’s emotional porn wrapped in children’s entertainment, dammit!

3. Toy Story 1 &2 (1995)

The first foray into CGI animation, delivering a story of a secret world of toys, just doing their daily grind at the office – which, just happens to be a toybox – as they serve their omnipotent overlord, all in the hopeless pursuit of acceptance. Toy Story was deep stuff. The sequel improved on that: exploring feelings of rejection, growing old and legacy. This isn’t just a a fairytale, it was a story for adults. It also has Tim Allen in it; isn’t The Santa Clause great? It’s got Judge Reinhold in it and everything.

2. Up (2009)

The most depressing five minutes to ever grace the silver screen and it’s in a kid’s movie. Yet, the rest of the movie is a colourful adventure, taking a geriatric grump on a globe-trotting adventure with a talking dog, Emu and a fat Asian kid. This list has fast become our favourite Pixar movies but Up isn’t just one of the best animated movies of the last decade but flat out one of the best films. Frankly, anything with a talking dog in it gets our vote. That’s why Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco is our bestest movie ever!

1. The Incredibles (2004)

A superhero movie at number 1, hecklerspray? How grimly predictable. If it doesn’t have spandex, explosions or made before 1990 then you don’t care, do you? Actually, it’s a rather brilliant movie. Following The Iron Giant, Brad Bird followed-up that animated masterstroke with a superior story of the power of family. Or is that a family of powers?

The reason it gets the top spot? Because it’s the only animated movie on the list that we’d love to see a live action version of. It probably wouldn’t be a spot on the original but seeing Frozone, Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl and co. strut their stuff again would be, well, super.

Agree? Disagree? You know what to do, sound off below.

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Here we are again, filling the gap between Christmas and next year with our favourite stuff from the year gone by.

Now we know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “But hecklerspray, this is 2009 so why aren’t you doing a list of the best stuff that’s happened this decade?” And the answer to that is this: We forgot it was the end of the decade. Alright? We forgot. AND NOW IT’S TOO LATE.

Anyway, let’s fill this poxy post Christmas wilderness with the best films of the year, as picked by our ragtag bunch of young adventurers. Let us know if you disagree…

Stuart Heritage

Bit torn over this one, really – for me there’s not much between Up and In The Loop. So do I choose Up – which is lovely and sad and funny and in 3D – or In The Loop because a Scottish man says “Fuckity-bye” in it? Screw it, I’m going with Up. Particularly the first few minutes of Up, which are impressively devastating. That said, I do get the feeling that if Pixar continue down this road much longer, they’re going to make a film depressing enough to inspire mass suicides every time it’s shown. Not sure that’s such a great thing, really.

Shawn Lindseth

The best movie of 2009 should have been the one we made starring our neighbor Phil as a two armed, giant tarantula who’d acquired the taste for the feet of all women who have silicone breast implants. That makes a lot more sense in the context of the script.  No movie studios agreed, probably because they’re all retarded.

As such, the only film worth two shakes in the year of our Lord, 2009, was the  new Star Trek. It really was good though.

Matthew Laidlow

Even though it was given a verbal shitting by critics at the cinema, I still love 12 Rounds. Come on! You know 12 Rounds. The one with John Cena in. The wrestler John Cena? It’s an age-old and basic plot. Stupid bumbling cop John Cena stops a master criminal in his tracks and accidentally kills his girlfriend. Of course, this doesn’t make the naughty man happy and seeks revenge in prison when he’s not getting bum love off another inmate.

So for an hour and a bit, there are 12 rounds (get it) of challenges for poor John Cena to go through. Buy why is this? Well our villain is so cheesed off that he’s only gone and kidnapped Cena’s girlfriend. All in a crap attempt to gain revenge and do something on a grander scale. I won’t spoil it, but the ending had me in fits of laughter.

Josh Burt

When I say I love The Hangover – which I’m going to do in about two/three sentences time – I don’t mean I love it at all. What I mean is that I quite like that three minute segment near the beginning when they’re on the roof and Zach Galifianakis reads a small pre-prepared speech about being a lone wolf. That bit made me laugh. I fucking love The Hangover.

Chris Laverty

For someone who reviews films on a regular basis, picking the best often means picking the most flat out enjoyable; not necessarily the sharpest written, acted, directed or produced, just the one that put the widest smile on your face; the one that didn’t leave you sick with disappointment or bored to tears and desperate for a leak; the one that wasn’t Transformers 2. Having laughed harder than a drunken clown and spent 90 minutes scrawling quotable lines in my notebook instead of review notes, I would have to say that film was The Hangover.

Amy Grindhouse

Some of the films this year were really dire. They felt like over-long, over-produced, glorified music videos. The Michael Bay-type, with a trendy soundtrack and more explosions and boobs than dialogue. My favourite film of the year is one that had the balls to not contain any explosions. My head nearly exploded when I watched it, but that’s another matter entirely. Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire is my favourite film by a mile, because it contains snazzy things like plot, emotion, and decent acting. All controversial and all bloody good.

Paul Gibson

The Hangover. Much-hyped, devilishly naughty comedy that had me forgetting my English genes and folding up with laughter in an American ‘movie theater’. Excellent ensemble cast (I think that’s the correct film review cliche), including Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis go to work on a beautifully-written script (“Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don’t, but do me a favor: don’t text me, it’s gay”). Plus, it made us see Mike Tyson as a human being again, rather than the monstrous half android/half bicep that has chased us through a decade of bad dreams.

Keith Emmerson

There were already rumours of an American remake of Let The Right One In when I saw a preview screening of this film, which is often incorrectly shoehorned into the vampire horror category. Perhaps those folks in Hollywood didn’t think the world at large had the (very limited) intellect required to enjoy a subtitled film, who knows. The vampiric element of this Swedish classic is probably the least important. It is a story about loneliness, growing up, companionship, bullying, and maybe even the futility of relationships; all se upon a desolate yet beautiful backdrop.

Louise Scodie

You’d have to be a hard-hearted puppyfucker not to be moved by Up. It’s my nomination for film of the year, film of the decade, and best film ever released in an October. Up is wonderful, and even more magical when viewed in 3D. The first fifteen minutes are a masterclass in storytelling and cinematography, seamlessly combining a love story with the harsh truth of the human condition (merry Christmas!). I also enjoyed He’s Just Not That Into You and plan to make a semi*cough*autobiographical sequel myself entitled He’s Just Not That Into You (Unless He’s Totally, Totally Mental).

David Scarborough

The funniest film of the year and it happens to be British – In The Loop. A satirical look at the British government that would be frightening if it wasn’t so darn hilarious! In a year when the startlingly average Slumdog Millionaire gets all the attention, this film got criminally overlooked.

Robyn Wilder

My favourite release of this year is Star Trek – so fresh! So original! No tedious Jean-Luc Picard French wine peasant backstory; no saggy Data; no bloody RIKER LOVE SCENES. This was prequel was so whizz-bang and personality-heavy that I forgot to wince whenever Sylar Spock’s waxed eyebrows filled the screen.

In fact they’re such jokers that they even made a gag reel:

However, so did the cast and crew of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and it fills me with FEAR:

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Right, first an admission. The Hangover is the top movie at the weekend box office this week. That’s not the admission.

The admission is that The Hangover was also the top movie at the weekend box office last week as well. But we said that it was beaten by Up because the numbers were quite close and nobody worked it out properly for a few days. So sorry.

Anyway, The Hangover is the top movie at the US weekend box office this week. Unless there’s been another mistake and really it’s Up. Or Drag Me To Hell. Or ET. Whatever.

It doesn’t really matter one way or the other. The Hangover has now been top of the weekend box office for two weeks instead of one, and we happen to think it’s very well deserved indeed. Because it stars Ed Helms, who used to be on The Daily Show which we love. And it also stars Zach Galifianakis, who is about as close to being a genius as we’re willing to admit. And it also stars Bradley Cooper, who was in He’s Just Not That Into You, which is… oh, hang on a minute, that was rubbish. We hate The Hangover. It’s full of turds.

Here’s the weekend box office top five…

1 – The Hangover (Honestly, we’re thrilled that The Hangover has made Zach Galifianakis a star of Will Ferrell proportions. Just a few more years and we can pretend that his shtick is getting old and monotonous in an attempt to make us look cool and ahead of the crowd too, even though we secretly still like him. Hooray) $33,415,000

2 - Up (So, it looks like Up has gone down at the weekend box office this week. Ahahahaha. Ahahahaha. Ahahahaha. Aha. Ahahahahahahaha. Ahaaaaaaaaaa. Fingers crossed that it drops out of the weekend box office top five completely next week, because we’re going to keep doing this joke every week until it does) $30,515,000

3 - The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3 (We believe that The Taking Of Pelham 1 2 3 was only remade because it’s referenced in the lyrics to Sure Shot by The Beastie Boys. In which case we’re also looking forward to the forthcoming remake of the heartbreaking 1943 Kurosawa classic Bullshit Mic That’s Made Out Of Plastic) $25,000,000

4 - Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian (We still haven’t watched Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian. But we did once see a four-year-old literally piss herself with fear while watching a museum’s 3D audio-visual reconstruction of the big bang, which we’re willing to bet is better) $9,600,000

5 - Land Of The Lost (The fact that Land Of The Lost is one of the flops of the summer proves something that we’ve long thought – Will Ferrell’s shtick is getting old and monotonous) $9,153,000

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In these days of giant fighting space robots, it’s rare for a movie to top the weekend box office for more than a week.

But Up‘s done it. Pixar’s heartwarming tale of a little old man who becomes so insane with indescribable grief that he literally has to leave the face of the Earth has remained number one at the US weekend box office.

See Dreamworks? This is how you sell a cartoon. Now make sure that Kung Fu Panda 2 ends with the panda developing a harrowing alcohol dependency, and be quick about it. There’s money to be made!

Traditionally the summertime weekend box office is a time for one insultingly expensive tentpole studio movie after another to take the top spot. But this week that’s not the case at all. Land Of The Lost – the biggest film of Will Ferrell‘s career to date – was supposed to romp home with the top spot today, but it hasn’t. It hasn’t because it isn’t funny. Land Of The Lost is so unfunny that people would rather see Up – a film where a woman dies of old age in the first few minutes – because it’s funnier.

Remember that next time, Will Ferrell – more old ladies dying of old age in your movies, please. Here’s the US weekend box office top five…

1 - Up (Since Pixar’s stock-in-trade is now the monumentally harrowing story told in a distractingly cartoony way, we feel it’s safe to reveal that the plot of next year’s Toy Story 3 is basically the plot of Requiem For A Dream, which ends with Buzz Lightyear’s arm rotten and mangled from years of habitual heroin addiction, and Mrs Potato Head reduced to starring in live-action double-ended dildo shows for money. It’ll be fun) $44,244,000

2 - The Hangover (Much has been made of The Hangover’s similarity to 1998’s Very Bad Things. However, we’d argue that this isn’t the case at all, for the simple reason that The Hangover doesn’t feature Cameron Diaz popping up to make a noise like a cat getting its genitals caught in an electric insect-killer every four or five minutes. Thanks for that, by the way, The Hangover) $43,275,000

3 - Land Of The Lost (Compare Land Of The Lost’s weekend box office failure with Talladega Nights’ box office success and take notes – Will Ferrell running in circles in his underpants, good. Will Ferrell dousing himself in dinosaur urine, bad. Remember that) $19,524,000

4 - Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian (We haven’t seen Night At The Museum: Night At The Smithsonian yet, but on the off-chance that we do and we don’t like it, we’ve already chosen an alternative title for it – Shite At The Pooseum: Twattle Of The Pissonibum. Feel free to use it, by the way) $14,650,000

5 - Star Trek (We also haven’t seen Star Trek yet but, um, oh we dunno, Bra Trek? Anyone?) $8,400,000

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It’s the summer. And that means that, as weekend box office law states, all films released now must be angry, loud and full of massive robots punching each other.

But weekend box office law has another rule for the summer – that Pixar gets to release a new movie, and it’ll make all the other films look a bit silly in comparison. And this year that film is Up, the new US weekend box office number one.

What made Up so popular? Was it the groundbreaking technological accomplishments? The mature storytelling? No, it was all the balloons. Balloons are fun. Wheeeee!

So Up is the new US weekend box office, a fact that continues Pixar’s two strongest traditions – their extraordinary run of producing critically-acclaimed movies that are gigantic commercial successes and their even-more extraordinary run of producing miserable films about incredibly depressing subjects.

Seriously. Last year’s Pixar film was about the world’s loneliest robot, 2007’s Pixar film was about a character who couldn’t excel at his job because of his appearance, and Up is about a pensioner grieving the loss of his dead wife. Hardly Dude, Where’s My Car, is it?

Still, congratulations to Up, and we look forward to seeing next year’s Pixar movie – an exploration of social and physical decay that consists of nothing but a two-hour black and white image of an Arctic tundra soundtracked by the distant, sporadic sound of a crying woman. Here’s the weekend box office top five!

1 – Up (We can’t wait for Up to be released on DVD. We’re going to have a directional movie marathon comprising Up, Down, Sideways and the as-yet unreleased masterpiece Sort Of Diagonally Zig-Zagish) $68,200,000

2 - Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian (Coming soon, Night At The Museum: Scuffle At The Bath Postal Museum, where Ben Stiller travels to Somerset to witness a hilariously zany night of mail-based escapades. Starring Robin Williams as Thomas Moore Musgrave, Steve Coogan as postal historian Frank Staff and Ricky Gervais as a fat envelope) $25,500,000

3 - Drag Me To Hell (Originally this film was going to be called Drag Me To Hull, but the name was changed after it was decided that Hull is actually worse than the real hell in every conceivable way, and shouldn’t be joked about) $16,628,000

4 – Terminator: Salvation (This week it was revealed that an alternate ending for Terminator: Salvation was for John Connor to become a terminator himself and kill everyone, which would have obviously been a better ending than the one that was filmed. Although, having said that, if John Connor suddenly woke up and realised it was all a dream, and then the entire cast of the movie waved goodbye to everyone like at the end of The Railway Children that would have been a better ending too. What we’re trying to say, we suppose, is that Terminator: Salvation is rubbish) $16,140,000

5 - Star Trek (Oh Chris Pine, stop being so coy and just record a version of Rocket Man that you sing with two other versions of yourself, would you? Gah) $12,800,000

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The suburban nightmare is over.

After rigging your house with kiddie balloons, the neighbours get the finger and you rocket to the heavens, free to enjoy your sick  misanthropic fantasy… then you realise you have to share it with a tubby little tosspot.

Pixar’s cleverly titled Up is the tale of a pissed off 78-year-old who dreams of exploring the globe by using his house as flying ship. When Carl Fredricksen finally decides to eject from his pointless existence, he finds an eight-year-old stowaway named Russell hanging out on the porch.

Not only is Russell the dumbest little troglodyte you’ll ever meet, he’s also kind of cute and gives the film a warm yet slightly idiotic sentiment. The dodgy pair embark on the adventure of a lifetime, find themselves a talking dog and raid the jungles and other natural habitats of the world for no apparent reason. Some people call it kidnapping.

[story by Alex de Moller]

Hello, and welcome to the billionth edition of Britney Spears Does A Lot Of Dumb Shit That Couldn't Possibly Make A Jot Sense To Anyone, Not Even An Idiot Or A Child.

Today: Britney Spears goes to court to get her kids back but forgets to actually go all the way into the courtroom. Again.

Honestly, this stuff better be entertaining for Britney Spears, because it's starting to drain our will to live.

She enjoys toying with us, that Britney Spears. Witness the way she goes shopping for pregnancy kits when she's not even pregnant just to whip us all into a froth. Or the way she almost called her new album What If The Joke Is On You? when even a spak-brained village idiot would realise that the joke has actually been on Britney Spears for quite some time now. And wasn't even particularly hilarious to begin with. 

Or the way that Britney Spears gives the world just the slightest glimmer that she isn't a hermetically-sealed hopeless nobsack, only to prove a couple of days later that, yes, actually Britney Spears is a hermetically-sealed hopeless nobsack. What a tease, eh?

If you hadn't already guessed, Britney Spears has just done the latter. Again. After her weird hospital meltdown earlier this month, Britney Spears knows that the only way she has a fighting chance of seeing her two children again – even for a second through four sheets of reinforced glass – is to play the game and show up at court and do what the commissioner tells her. And when Britney Spears took her deposition earlier this week, it looked like she'd finally turned a corner.

But, with stunning inevitability, that corner turns into Shithead Avenue. Yesterday Britney Spears was due in court to seek restoration of her visitation rights. And she went to the courthouse, too. It's just that Britney Spears bricked it and ran off home as soon as she was through the doors. ABC reports:

Britney Spears came to a courthouse Wednesday for a hearing to seek restoration of her rights to see her two little boys, but suddenly left without entering court. "I want to leave," Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini quoted her as saying. Parachini said Spears was driven away. Upstairs, Commissioner Scott Gordon went ahead with a closed hearing. "Notice was taken of Miss Spears' absence" during the hearing, the spokesman said.

Sound familiar? It should – Britney Spears did exactly the same thing last Tuesday. And, as with last Tuesday, Britney's weird no-show meant that she won't be seeing her children again until next month at the earliest.

So what now for Britney Spears? Well, she's due back in court in 11 days, but only because her lawyers want to leave. And then she'll have to wait until February 19 before she gets another crack at fouling up regaining custody. And February 19 is a long time away, so there's a very good chance that at some point before then Britney Spears will go through a period of at least 24 hours without doing something so absurdly gormless that we feel obliged to write about it.

Oh, who are we kidding? That's never going to happen.

Read more:

Britney Spears Arrives at LA Courthouse, Then Leaves the Building - ABC