Katie Holmes may well be wealthy and successful, but that doesn’t stop the entire world pitying her. For starters, she’s in the unfortunate position of being married to Supreme Thetan, Tom Cruise AND she’s no doubt aware that everyone laughs at her because she’s one of those women who towers over her beau.
And so, to stop us from thinking that she’s a dead-eyed Scientologist with a head filled with quasi-religious gunk, she’s decided to act like One Of The Girls by talking about her knickers.
Because talking about your underpants in public isn’t peculiar at all is it? Nope. Not one bit. UNLESS YOU’RE SOME KIND OF GUSSET OBSESSED NUTTER THAT IS.
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Readers – we love you like we love our own mother.
And although our love for you wasn’t nurtured from a lifetime of you cutting the disgusting corners off our peanut butter sandwiches, it is love just the same. We love you deep, and we love you real.
It is this love that has us worried about you most nights. You see, our greatest fear is one wherein you all won’t be able to retire come age 35. That would be a real shame. You need to plan ahead – you need to invest.
You know – invest. Like in stocks and bonds and what not. Also you could invest in a pair of Michael Jackson‘s underpants. Those are currently worth $1,000,000 a piece, and the value is expected to rise exponentially. You’d better act fast though – there’s only one of them up for sale.
It all happens on eBay today, apparently.
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