Articles tagged with: UK
Lindsay Lohan is a Huge Stalking Stalker. Possibly.
In a news nugget sure to change the very way we think about humanity itself, Lindsay Lohan has arrived in London to do some stuff. Hold us back, this could be epoch-making. Speculation has been mounting that the star of Herbie and, umm... hecklerspray has timed her arrival to coincide with that of former/current were-they-weren't-they lover/pal/fanny chum Sam Ronson, who is in town to get paid to play a couple of records. It's called "DJing", apparently. Ah well, at least it involves more talent than standing still and managing not to die while being photographed. For money. Which exactly what Lindsay is doing.
In a news nugget sure to change the very way we think about humanity itself, Lindsay Lohan has arrived in London to do some stuff. Hold us back, this could be epoch-making. Speculation has been mounting that the star of Herbie and, umm... hecklerspray has timed her arrival to coincide with that of former/current were-they-weren't-they lover/pal/fanny chum Sam Ronson, who is in town to get paid to play a couple of records. It's called "DJing", apparently. Ah well, at least it involves more talent than standing still and managing not to die while being photographed. For money. Which exactly what Lindsay is doing.
Eurovision 2009: Jade Ewen, UK
So this is it. It's been a while - a bit too much of a while, according to our weakened mindstate - but we've finally profiled all but one of the Eurovision entries this year. That leaves us with just one to do - for some poxy little island called 'the UK' - before our great big Eurovision 2009 liveblog. Tomorrow evening, at 8pm, we're going to be liveblogging the arse off the Eurovision Song Contest, either until it finishes or until we have a stress-related nosebleed. Don't bet against the latter. Anyway, our point is this - be there. So, finally, here is the Eurovision 2009 profile for Jade Ewen from the UK...
So this is it. It's been a while - a bit too much of a while, according to our weakened mindstate - but we've finally profiled all but one of the Eurovision entries this year. That leaves us with just one to do - for some poxy little island called 'the UK' - before our great big Eurovision 2009 liveblog. Tomorrow evening, at 8pm, we're going to be liveblogging the arse off the Eurovision Song Contest, either until it finishes or until we have a stress-related nosebleed. Don't bet against the latter. Anyway, our point is this - be there. So, finally, here is the Eurovision 2009 profile for Jade Ewen from the UK...
Badvertising: Safestyle UK
You know how adverts for expensive perfume are bewilderingly oblique to the point that you often spend up to 30 minutes afterwards scratching your head and wondering what you'd just watched? That feeling isn't just limited to perfume commercials, you know. The Safestyle double glazing TV adverts have been running on and off for years, and yet every ...
You know how adverts for expensive perfume are bewilderingly oblique to the point that you often spend up to 30 minutes afterwards scratching your head and wondering what you'd just watched? That feeling isn't just limited to perfume commercials, you know. The Safestyle double glazing TV adverts have been running on and off for years, and yet every ...
Eurovision Brings Back Juries Just To Annoy The Ruskies
Fact: every conversation about Eurovision in recent years will have included the phrase "Oh, but it's so political these days" at least 500 times. That's because it's true. The Eurovision Song Contest has got so political these days. The proof? The UK hasn't won Eurovision for over a decade, regardless of whether we've entered a rubbish holiday camp cabaret act or a hamfisted reality TV show runner-up. It's a flipping disgrace. But Eurovision won't be political for much longer, because Eurovision bigwigs are bringing back national juries in a bid to end the tactical voting that's destroyed the contest's credibility in recent years. At last! Now when the UK comes last at next year's Eurovision we'll know for certain that it was because our entry was genuinely awful and not because everyone's quite scared of Vladimir Putin.
Fact: every conversation about Eurovision in recent years will have included the phrase "Oh, but it's so political these days" at least 500 times. That's because it's true. The Eurovision Song Contest has got so political these days. The proof? The UK hasn't won Eurovision for over a decade, regardless of whether we've entered a rubbish holiday camp cabaret act or a hamfisted reality TV show runner-up. It's a flipping disgrace. But Eurovision won't be political for much longer, because Eurovision bigwigs are bringing back national juries in a bid to end the tactical voting that's destroyed the contest's credibility in recent years. At last! Now when the UK comes last at next year's Eurovision we'll know for certain that it was because our entry was genuinely awful and not because everyone's quite scared of Vladimir Putin.
God Tries to Destroy Big Brother America
The most exciting event in Big Brother history has just happened. Unfortunately, the incident happened in America and not in the UK where so far the most exciting thing to do for viewers is count how many times Luke mentions the £100k cheque. We’re always told that things don’t go truly mental until the series kicks off, gets into its stride and sees housemates go quite mental. Sadly the UK version is halfway through and still as exciting as pouring vinegar over your own open wounds. Consequently we’re switching to America for some entertainment. Quite literally we’re thanking God for turning the equally boring show into something worth watching. Fear not, we’ve got a video of it as well, after the jump.
Everyone Gets All Sad About Being Crap At Eurovision
In case you missed the news, the UK is the rubbishest in the world at Eurovision - even rubbisher than Spain's creepy Elvis-geek. On Saturday the UK Eurovision entry Andy Abraham came joint last - along with some nondescript Germans and a Polish tooth machine who looks like she bathes in Ronseal - causing Terry Wogan to mumble furiously about political block voting and boycotts and even his own resignation if our crap songs weren't taken as seriously as mainland Europe's crap songs in the future. And now Terry Wogan's outraged warcry has been backed up by none other than Bruce Forsyth. Old men grumbling about stuff? Who'd have thought?
In case you missed the news, the UK is the rubbishest in the world at Eurovision - even rubbisher than Spain's creepy Elvis-geek. On Saturday the UK Eurovision entry Andy Abraham came joint last - along with some nondescript Germans and a Polish tooth machine who looks like she bathes in Ronseal - causing Terry Wogan to mumble furiously about political block voting and boycotts and even his own resignation if our crap songs weren't taken as seriously as mainland Europe's crap songs in the future. And now Terry Wogan's outraged warcry has been backed up by none other than Bruce Forsyth. Old men grumbling about stuff? Who'd have thought?
Eurovision Betting Odds: Andy Abraham, UK
So this is it - both Eurovision semi-finals have been and gone and everything's set for tomorrow's Eurovision Song Contest final. If you haven't placed a Eurovision bet yet, then this is the time to do so. The odds are currently flying around all over the place, so get in quick. It couldn't be simpler to do. And, as for today, we've save the best for last. Well, OK, maybe not the best. We've saved the alphabetically final for last. Yes, that's better. Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Andy Abraham and the UK, with help from Paddy Power...
So this is it - both Eurovision semi-finals have been and gone and everything's set for tomorrow's Eurovision Song Contest final. If you haven't placed a Eurovision bet yet, then this is the time to do so. The odds are currently flying around all over the place, so get in quick. It couldn't be simpler to do. And, as for today, we've save the best for last. Well, OK, maybe not the best. We've saved the alphabetically final for last. Yes, that's better. Here are the Eurovision betting odds for Andy Abraham and the UK, with help from Paddy Power...
Andy Abrahams Chosen To Lose Eurovision For Us This Year
In each year's Eurovision Song Contest, there's always one bland-looking middle-aged man singing a hopelessly generic, instantly forgettable disco tune with '16th place' written all over it.
And this year it's us.
Andy Abraham, an X Factor runner-up from 2005, won Eurovision: Your Decision on Saturday night, which means he'll be representing us at the Eurovision Song Contest in May with his song Even If. And that would be fine, except that a) everyone involved in the show obviously wanted Michelle Gayle to win, and b) Andy Abraham's song is a big sack of donkey bollocks. Honestly, not a single homosexual blowjob joke. Who do these people think we are?
