UFO - HecklerSpray

Awesome Or Off-Putting: Austria’s Mysterious (UFO) Hole

August 6th, 2012 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

There’s a fact of life that polite society is loathe to admit. That fact is that sometimes Austrians enjoy staring intensely into deep holes for hours on end. Those deep holes being stared into come attached to all sorts of things,? mostly ostriches. Sometimes backyards.

In this case it’s the latter. A mysterious 25′, perfectly round hole appeared in an Austrian man’s backyard overnight. Speculation, as you might expect, is that it’s a crashed UFO. If that’s the case, it’s a very small species that were flying the crashed craft.

We think it was most likely not of extra terrestrial origin, but that it was the Rescue Rangers crashing an out of control flying shoe box while they were on an Alps-vacation. And we shall unequivocally prove this hypothesis on the next page.

Awesome Or Off-Putting: Weird Metal Boxes Washing Up On Beaches

August 6th, 2012 By Shawn Lindseth

The best thing we’ve ever found washed up on a beach is a twelve pack of Orange Crush and a VHS copy of The A-Team season 3. That provided first dates for all twelve of our most meaningful relationships.

All twelve of those occurred at a speed dating workshop. We’re not proud, we’re lonely. So very lonely.

On several beaches along the west coast of the United States a lot bigger things are getting dropped by the tide onto sandy resting spots. They’re big metal boxes that nobody seems to recognize.

It’s the latest mystery buzzing around paranormal circles – and we’ve got all the details for you right here. Just to clarify – by all the details we mean about three details. We’ve got three metal box details for you. Read on!

Awesome or Off-Putting: Germany’s Centuries-Old UFO Wars

August 7th, 2011 By Shawn Lindseth

What are the first things to come to your mind when we say ‘Germany?’ For us it’s throaty languages, short green pants with shoulder straps and white people eating billions of sausages.

Also genocide.

After you read this super awesome article, something else might come to your mind too – UFO’s fighting it out in German skies sometime in the 1500s. Have you heard of that? You haven’t? Then by all means read on!

Awesome or Off-Putting: America’s First USO (Unidentified Submerged Object)

August 1st, 2011 By Shawn Lindseth

You may think that UFO’s are a new phenomenon. You may also think that snakes make good pets and vegetables without ranch dressing are delicious. Well you are wrong across the board – especially about the snakes. Anything that may crush you and then swallow you whole doesn’t belong in an aquarium.

But the topic of the day is, of course, North America’s first sighting of an Unidentified Submerged Object. Granted, the object didn’t stay submerged. It broke the water’s surface and flew around in front of lots of people many times over a three week period, but the only explanation given at the time was necromancy.

Just you chew on that for a minute.

Awesome or Off-Putting: Orange Lights Flying About Missouri

June 6th, 2011 By Shawn Lindseth

If Hecklerspray ever sees a UFO, we’d like to think it would be in Antarctica right after we rescued Agent Scully from said UFO’s iron belly. If any other opportunity ever arises, we’re really not interested.

That’s not true. Really we’d probably poop our pants and stand their crying while any alien orbs scooted by several hundred feet above our heads. You know, like what recently happened in in Missouri a few weeks ago.

You hadn’t heard about that? Well then you’d better click on over to the next page.

Awesome or Off-Putting: Russian Politician Abducted Via Invisible-ish Alien Tube

April 11th, 2011 By Shawn Lindseth

Kirsan Nikolayevich Ilyumzhinov has been the President of the Republic of Kalmykia of the Russian Federation from 1993 until present day. He’s a multi-millionaire of his own making, a super-duper chess wiz, and possibly has more business savvy than all of Donald Trump‘s apprentices smooshed together into one. Also, once he was thought linked to a? horrific, politically motivated stabbing murder (as insinuated by Wikipedia), but that’s neither here nor there.

The news of the day is this – he claimed in a TV interview that one night in 1997 a semi-transparent tube showed up on his balcony. It was the device aliens used to get him on their ship – and he claims to have proof of it!

Hecklerplay: Anything Can Happen In The Next Half Hour – In Praise Of Barry Gray

August 7th, 2012 By Michael Park

What’s the best thing about being a child? Is it getting to play with toys? Getting to run around with your mates and hitting them with sticks without fear of costly litigation? Is it children’s books, all simple dialogue and fast-paced, action-packed stories in which the giraffe always finds the ball and they all live happily ever after and no-one is murdered or offered drugs in the process?

The nurturing love and affection of your parents looking out the back window as you sit in the sun trying to blind yourself by staring at it? It doesn’t matter. Whatever you’ve said, you’re wrong.

One of the most incredible things about television is that multiple generations can learn to love the same show for the same reasons as it was great in the first place. To prove this point, one need only look as far as Gerry Anderson’s series’ of Supermarionation, beloved by millions the world over despite being technically clunky, relatively emotionless puppets.

The Ghost Of Gordon The Gopher Shall No Longer Haunt Holly Willoughby

March 25th, 2011 By Kris Silver

Ladies and gentleman, a modern day miracle has occurred, Holly Willoughby has been cured of her fear of ghosts, much to the delight of Phillip Schofield?s long dead career.

Willoughby, also affectionately known as the Willobooby, suffered from Spectrophobia (which it turns out is a genuine phobia and not a bad 70s sci fi series) so badly that she was once reduced to tears on the set of This Morning after a segment about ghostly apparitions.

Wooooooooooooo! *rattles chains*

Awesome or Off-Putting: Project Moon Dust

March 21st, 2011 By Shawn Lindseth

You know that big sand-octopus that ate Boba Fett in the beginning of the third Star Wars movie? Well we were promised an interview with it – and we shouldn’t have gone dressed like a gigantic space-hot dog. It tentacled our legs together and that’s the last we remember for the last three weeks.

Honest to goodness, that’s where we’ve been.

But now we’re back – and we’re ready to tell you about Project Moon Dust – a supposedly secret military operation somehow related all UFO crashes everywhere forever and ever.

That’s a slight exaggeration only.

Awesome or Off-Putting: Chiles-Whitted UFO Encounter From 1948

December 13th, 2010 By Shawn Lindseth

90% of the time people sight UFOs it ends up being a comet, a misidentified airplane, or a child who’d sucked too much helium and floated way up into the sky. That last one is personal experience.

But the point being the encounters can usually be easily explained. But what about when it can’t be? The Chiles-Whitted sighting, for instance, will probably leave little brown clumps all over your underpants-innards.