There are close to seven billion people on Earth right now. Stalkers aren’t exactly tripping over each other for fresh victims.

And yet Brady Green still stalked Tyra Banks. He could have tried stalking anyone else – someone who can only articulate their feelings without using a series of preposterous facial expressions, perhaps, or someone who seems pleasant – but no. Brady Green decided to stalk Tyra Banks, and now he’s been convicted.

Alright, technically Brady Green was convicted of stalking, harassment, criminal trespass and attempted aggravated harassment, but that’s only because you can’t be convicted of having dreadful taste in women.